Game of Thrones: The Red Woman. Is (SPOILER) really dead?

OK So no I’m not wondering if Jon Snow is dead. Cause he is, but that’s not’s what is bothering me right now. (Don’t worry Jon Snow people– I’ll come back to this in a bit).

The Wall

They open up the episode at the wall showing Davos finding Jon Snow dead on the snow and quickly he and some other good guys get him into a room where they can watch over him.

Important things going on right here:

  1. Davos saw an image in the snow when they pulled him away. While watching this Sunday I rewound it twice to see the blood again and it definitely looks like a dragon that my kids drew in the snow.
  2. Ghost is still guarding Jon. I think if Jon was beyond hope Ghost would be out searching for his brothers and sister. Now don’t get me wrong– Jon’s definitely dead right this second but once again I’ll come back to that in a bit.
  3. They all verify that Jon is totes dead.
  4. Melisandre begins to doubt herself. She mentions that she saw Jon fighting at Winterfell in her flames, but he’s right there dead on the table. Davos also asks her to do something and she says that she can’t. Now that right there surprised me. My theory has always been that she would resurrect Jon so her despair worried me for a bit.

GHOST and Jon Snow

Note: in the books Bowen Marsh is the one that initiated all the stabby time with Jon, not Alliser Thorne. But he didn’t like him either.

Ramsey Bolton

Yep. Still psycho. Only he would feed his girlfriend to his hounds. Also why isn’t he out looking for Sansa and Theon? Seems right up his alley. My guess is just because the writers didn’t want to explain why Brienne didn’t slit his throat. Because she would have.

But Sansa is away from him now as is Theon. So that’s awesome.

Sansa

I love Theon for trying to protect her, but she’s still sooooo stupid and annoying. She’s the worst in the books and even though they have changed the plot in the show to give her more action she’s still whiny and only thinks of herself. I’m glad she’s accepted Brienne’s pledge now so at least we’ll get to see Brienne and Pod in her scenes.

Also hopefully she won’t trust Littlefinger any more. But she’s stupid so she probably will.

Why did she not remember the words of the oath? Seems like something romantic and exciting that she would have had memorized.

Cersei and Jaime 

Right now all things are awesome with Jaime and Cersei. He’s once again her fighter and her champion. However in the books he had already abandoned her because he had seen how she was just trying to use him. I really hope that they are headed in that direction. Cersei doesn’t really love Jaime, she loves the idea that someone is there that would do anything for her. I want him to find out every nasty thing she has done and hate her for it.

Because as much as Cersei has used Jaime he has done everything she has ever asked out of love and devotion for her.

Margaery Tyrell

Well, she’s still locked up and in a bad situation. Once again they have deviated from the books in this aspect. In the novels she was released pretty quickly because they tortured her accuser who then admitted to having sex with Cersei, not Margaery, and Margaery was released into Sam’s dad’s custody (yes Jon Snow’s Sam).

I’m curious to see where they are going with this. I’m not sure what to think of her situation right now.

Dorne

Yeah I don’t really know what to say about this crap. Maybe the writers just didn’t like writing about this place? Is it not an overall important plot point?

This is not what was happening in Dorne in the books and Doran was super in control of his country and the Sand Snakes. He also was a huge schemer and although he appeared weak at times it was because he was plotting some pretty big crap. So I’m sad this is messed up, but maybe it’ll get better?

 Tyrion and Varys 

Mandatory Tyrion scene, because this episode is light on comedy and they need to remind us that:

  1. Dany’s kingdom is in trouble without her
  2. Tyrion and Varys are both still awesome
  3. Dany needs to hurry on back home ASAP
  4. Someone shady is watching them

Daenery

We are reminded that Jorah is super sick and has a limited time span to help his queen, and he’s on her trail.

She’s not in the best situation either. After letting her captors know who she is they now want to take her to their Khaleesi retirement community that she’s already seen isn’t an awesome place to be.

This is interesting in that we have now moved past the books in her story. So what I see from here on out will be completely new.

I know one thing for sure. She needs to figure out  how to warg into her dragon so she can get back home and take control of her life again. Until she can control Drogon she will not be in control of anything.

Arya

This is another reminder scene. Yes Arya is still alive. Yes she’s still blind. Don’t worry things are about to get super interesting for Arya real quick.

Melisandre

OK we are finally  to the person that I think might have died this episode. We had made it almost this whole episode without seeing any boobs so you know that had to change! So tada!  Here’s the red witch getting ready for bed showing her boobs. Then she takes off her necklace.

Well in the books it explained a lot more that Melisandre had the power to change appearances of people with her magic and it worked as long as they wore a stone. So this does make sense even tough it seems to have come out of no where in this episode because it hasn’t been addressed much before now. So she looks really old and climbs in bed all old and crusty.

So my questions are:

Will she die then? And has she realized how much she’s messed everything up?

Jon Snow

At last!  I told you I would come back to this and here I am. We have a few interesting things happen to Jon this episode with promises of things to come. What am I talking about? Well we had the aforementioned blood dragon in the snow that seems an awful lot like foreshadowing and we have a witch that doesn’t think she can do anything to  save him. I also mentioned that Ghost was seriously protective of Jon’s body.

PrincessBride

So here’s my thought:

I do think that Jon is 100% dead because he needs to die to be released from his oaths to the Night’s Watch. I also had thought that he would be brought back by the red witch, but now that she’s seemingly given up my thought is that he needs to be brought back by the same kind of magic that was used to hatch Dany’s dragons. So when they burn his body– which they will do because–the North–zombies– etc. will he rise from the ashes? It would reinforce even more his Targaryen blood and be a more pure form of magic.

I just really hope we don’t have to wait all season to find out how Jon Snow is returning. Because he is returning. Anyone telling you different is selling something.

 

Game of Thrones: A Dance With Dragons, More Theories Confirmed!

Stannis

Melisandre is caught unawares by Ramsey’s attack team that sets fire to much of the camp and ruins all of their food and much of their shelter. OK I’m gonna let you finish, but seriously I find it hard to believe that Melisandre wouldn’t have seen a direct attack on Stannis much less one that used fire. I feel like she could have controlled the fire in some way as well, but since in the books she’s was busy being a weirdo creeper to Jon Snow on the Wall this is all new territory. Stannis does have many set backs in the books, but no direct conflict with the Boltons at this time. Oh and there’s something else that he doesn’t do. . .

Oh right!   He doesn’t burn his daughter alive! He does burn some people that ate a fellow solider (who had died of exposure first) as an example of what he will do to others that have the same idea. Also to sacrifice to the Red God R’hllor to help speed them to Winterfell. If there is anything I hate more right now it’s this character change. Stannis isn’t an amazing dude, but he’s not a guy that killed his daughter and I don’t see how anyone could want him to be King now even if (OK here’s a spoiler so skip ahead if you don’t want to know) the Iron Bank steps in to bankroll him like the do in the books (they don’t like Cersei defaulting on the loans so much).

Oh and the Queen feeling bad at the end? Um no– not that Shireen gets burned in the books, but the Queen would have been totally fine with it.

I wonder what Davos will think of this when he makes it back?

Jon Snow

Jon Snow doesn’t have a big role this week, but it looks like they are setting him up to have a very pointed role next week. We see a tense moment though when it doesn’t look like his men are going to open the gates to the rescued Wildlings. Even though they do finally open the gates for Jon and Co. it’s obvious that no one (besides Sam) is happy with what Jon has done. Wun Wun (the giant) walking past the brothers doesn’t do anything to make this better. We end our stay at Castle Black with these ominous words:

Will it really get all of them killed?

Meanwhile in Dorne

Jaime expects to be killed, but of course Prince Doran can’t kill off the Kingslayer. Oberyn’s widow is openly hostile to everyone and it’s a nice happy tea time. They finally agree to release Myrcella as long as her betrothed goes with her and he gets a spot on the small council and Bronn gets punched. Oh and there is an odd scene with the Sand Snakes again. I’m loving Prince Doran, but really everyone else and everything else in Dorne is weird to me.

This sentiment is pretty on the money compared to the books. Prince Doran wants to avoid useless war.

Arya

We see Cat of the Canals (or whatever the young kids are calling her these days) about to kill off the person she’s been designated to kill, but she gets distracted when she sees Ser Meryn Trant hop off a boat with the envoy from Westeros. Meryn if you remember (which I don’t blame you if you don’t) is the one who killed her fencing teacher (at least that’s assumed since Meryn is still alive) and allowed her to escape. He’s also been on her night hit prayer list since she ran off on her own. I believe what we are seeing is a set up for what happens in a released chapter of Winds of Winter (the book that GRRM still hasn’t finished). (SPOILER WARNING AGAIN) In that chapter Arya is playing an actor (who is playing Sansa in a play about Westeros) and while she’s an actor she runs into Ser Meryn and gets him to go somewhere private so they can have sex. Which isn’t quite what happens.

Arya has wasted her day following the people from Westeros though and hasn’t killed her man. She makes her way back to the House of Black and White and lies about why she didn’t complete her task. It’s unsure whether or not she’s believed, but I’m gonna say not. As much as I hate Stannis’ story changes I am completely cool with Arya’s. They seem to just be moving things along for her and not so much changing things.

Oh also remember that the envoy from Westeros is there to tell the Iron Bank they aren’t so much going to pay their debts. It’s going to go great for them.

Meereen

We see Dany about to witness the Roman Gladiators fighting. They even say ” We who are about to die salute you” or something insanely close to that. Tyrion is just as offended by all of this as Dany is. The best part about the fights themselves is Daario flirting with Dany right in front of her fiance. She obviously still prefers him to anyone at this point.

So a bunch of people die, Jorah shows up and kills a bunch of people too and then suddenly throws a spear towards his Queen! Whaaaat? Oh, just to kill the assassin that was standing behind her. Chaos erupts and people are killed right and left. I’m not sure why Sons of the Harpy would kill the commoners, but they kill everyone the can and work through the Unsullied like they are not the formidable fighting men they were trained to be (seriously is their armor made of paper mache?)

It’s not until they begin to try to run away and are cornered that the thing happens that I’ve been waiting on since the fighting began.

Drogon shows up.

In the books Drogon also comes when Dany attends her first fight and when people start attacking him she runs out and (gets all her clothes burned off of her– because GRRM is a creep) jumps on the dragon and flies off with him.  She wasn’t in immediate danger like here, but someone does try to poison her (but it doesn’t work). She then spends a while out in the desert abandoned by her dragon and then on her period. Yeah.

Drogon coming is amazing both on screen and in the book and I love that they confirmed (at least in my mind) that Dany called Drogon to come get her. In the books she was uncomfortable and wanted to be out of that situation so I still think she called out to Drogon in her mind (like the Starks do with their wolves) and he came to save her.

Her face here kinda confirms that for me:

Hey Drogon, you up?

In the show she seems to have much more control over Drogon in this scene and climbs aboard just like the books and flies away– but leaves her friends abandoned behind in the pits.

Sucks to be you!

No matter what Drogon rocked it. Next week is the season finale so I’m sure it will be jam packed full of back stabbing feels!

Game of Thrones: High Sparrow. The one where they throw the books out the window– like Bran.

This week’s episode shows us what they meant when they said they were changing things from the books. They totally weren’t kidding about that.

Arya

She is striving to become no one yet she is holding onto her anger and her past. She continues her prayers and her hoard of treasures that she gathered since her escape from King’s Landing. Jaqen H’ghar is very mysterious here talking about how A Man behaves and who A Man is. I feel like I should start talking like that. “A Woman needs you to take out the trash.” That works right?

There is a young blind girl– or what appears to be a young blind girl who works there who begins to hit Arya when she questions her. Before Arya can kill her though Jaqen points out to her that Arya cannot become a faceless man while still holding on to her name. This leads Aray to throw away all her belongings– well all of them but Needle which she stashes in a crevice.

I’m so glad they left this scene in– in fact I’m going to just quote the book:

“It’s just a stupid sword,” she said, aloud this time…
… but it wasn’t.
Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell’s grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan’s stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow’s smile.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows

I feel like if she had given up Needle that she would have been lost for good. One other thing that the show hasn’t done well with Arya is show that she’s still having wolf dreams. This whole time she’s been living through her wolf at night– seeing what she sees and killing with her. Unlike Sansa, who lost her wolf, Arya is still connected to the North through her wolf. And through Needle.

Later on Jaqen takes her to learn how to clean the dead and starts her on her journey to become a faceless man. Which is important too, but not as many feels as the scene with Needle.

Margaery and Tommen

First of all– gross. If we want to cover departures from the books this is one of those. In the books Tommen is a whopping 8 or 9 years old and his favorite thing to do is stamping his royal seal on documents. So obviously they don’t consummate their marriage. Actually Cersei tries to frame Margaery later on in the books for cheating on Tommen. She assumes that an older woman would have a sexual appetite and although she might be right– it back fires on her just a bit. So although some of the resulting scenes are hilarious after their wedding night all I could think was– wow that’s disgusting. I know in the show he’s older, but still not that much older.

Margaery is an amazing manipulator though. She takes Tommen’s virginity and then pushes all the right buttons to begin to push Cersei out of the way. Cersei tries to do the same to Tommen the next day, but he turns it around on her. He’s begun talking about sending her away and that scares Cersei more than anything. Sorry mom– I’m pretty sure that the carrot is going to do a lot more than the stick in this instance. And once again even that analogy grosses me out. He’s a little boy.

Cut to Cersei interrupting Margaery talking about all the sex that she had last night with her child husband. Other than the child molestery comments Margaery is perfection. She issues barb after barb in Cersei’s direction. She mentions over and over again how old Cersei is and how she isn’t of any importance anymore. Well played Margaery, well played. Even if you did just have gross sex.

Disgustingly well played

Reek

It rhymes with meek. And grossed out. Poor Theon. The changes to show from the books have actually been in Theon’s favor– I hope for Sansa’s sake that it continues that way.

Sansa

Littlefinger has arranged for Sansa to marry Ramsey Snow Bolton and then stands uncomfortably close to convince her to go through with it. The only thing I can hope is that his speech about avenging her family means that he’s going to take the part of Lord Manderly from the books and is really plotting against the Boltons. After all Roose Bolton had a big hand in killing Caitlin Stark– the woman he truly loved.

This is the first huge departure I’ve seen this season from the books. In the books the Lannisters send “Arya Stark” to marry Ramsey Bolton. The Arya they have is a childhood friend of Sansa though that is just pretending to be Arya. Horrible. horrible things happen to this pretender and her situation leads Jon Snow into making decisions that are detrimental to his health. So I’m curious to see where they are going with this.

But in the show Sansa ends up back at Winterfell and Ramsey’s bitches (his term for them) look on– knowing what her fate will be if she marries Ramsey.

Ramsey and SansaSneak peek from tonight’s episode on Game of Thrones by tvafterdark

Pod and Brienne

We get to hear more of their back stories and we see why these two are how they are. Brienne has been horribly mistreated all her life because of her size and build. Brienne was loyal to Renly because of his actions towards her and I think we all can empathize with that sentiment.

Pod was similarly saved by the Lannisters because of his heritage (Pod is the relative of Ser Ilyn Payne– the King’s Justice who in the books received the Stark’s Valyrian steel sword, Ice. Until it gets melted down into 2 swords that is). He talks of his time with Tyrion with fondness as he’s one of the few  people that has seen Tyrion for what he is worth.

This was a nice scene for all the feels– and to keep us from forgetting about these two.

i can’t get this line out of my head and I kinda keep crying about it

Jon Snow

He’s now the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and is still receiving pressure from Stannis to take Winterfell. Stannis then announces that he is going to march on Winterfell and they discuss the fate of the Wildlings. I have to say I was glad when he left though and he talked to Davos. Davos has a similar sense of honor, but with a pirate/smuggler feel to it and I feel like this is the first real conversation Jon has had with any of Stannis’ camp.

We are mostly on par with what happened in the books here with just a little less detail. This is one of the stories that I don’t understand why they are speeding up. Unless it’s just because the scenes at The Wall are dark and depressing.

Jon later splits up duties assigning a few menial duties and naming Ser Alliser first Ranger. He then tries to assign one of the broken down tower to Lord Janos Slynt. Slynt refuses which doesn’t go quite like he expected it to. Jon beheads him there in the yard for all to see. But really what other choice did he have? Here are some more book excerpts to explain the situation better:

Alliser Thorne smiled a thin smile, his black eyes fixed on Jon. At another table, Godry the Giantslayer began to laugh. “As you will.” Jon nodded to Iron Emmett. “Please take Lord Janos to the Wall— ”

and confine him to an ice cell , he might have said. A day or ten cramped up inside the ice would leave him shivering and feverish and begging for release, Jon did not doubt. And the moment he is out, he and Thorne will begin to plot again . And tie him to his horse , he might have said. If Slynt did not wish to go to Greyguard as its commander, he could go as its cook. It will only be a matter of time until he deserts, then. And how many others will he take with him?

“— and hang him,” Jon finished

Of course that’s not exactly how it ended:

“He would not dare to hang me. Janos Slynt has friends, important friends, you’ll see …” The wind whipped away the rest of his words.

This is wrong , Jon thought. “Stop.” Emmett turned back, frowning. “My lord?”

“I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.”
“Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out. The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter.

Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw.

Jon really shows off how perfect he is from here on out. Which of course bodes well right?

I totally wouldn’t want to cut someone’s head off.

The High Sparrow

The High Septon is drug out of a brothel naked and made to walk back in front of everyone nude. He goes to complain to the small council and Cersei sees it as an opportunity to put someone in her debt into the High Septon’s place. So she goes to find the “High Sparrow” or the leader of the refugees that have come into the city.

He is a devout man that follows the law perfectly and stands by what he did to the High Septon. She behaves that she totally agrees and has arrested the High Septon and thinks that her and the Sparrows are on the same page. This will be important later.

In the books the High Septon was actually pulled to pieces during the riots and his crown stolen. The church then flounders for a while and shows it’s corruption while trying to find a new High Septon. This leaves it primed for the Sparrows to step in and take control– which they do.

I was shown a theory about the High Sparrow that I had somehow missed and I really really hope that it ends up to be true. I’ll just post it here though and tell me what you think. That would just be amazing.

We also get a glimpse of Qyburn’s project and are given the impression that he’s working on a Frankenstein like monster– which isn’t too far off.

He is special.

Tyrion

He utters his famous last words about how everything will be fine and he’ll blend in. Which of course he doesn’t at all. They take in a speech from the League of Assassins– I mean a Red Priestess and Tyrion of course draws her attention. So they follow that up with a restful evening at a brothel. A brothel that just happens to have Jorah Mormont in it as well. As soon as he can he snags Tyrion and proclaims he’s going to take Tyrion to the Queen. Now some watchlings might hear that and think that Jorah is going to take Tyrion to Cersei so he can reclaim his home and his title. However they’d be hella wrong. That is unless HBO is taking a huge left turn and really changing the story. Jorah is going to try to take Tyrion to Dany and try win her favor back.

As far as what’s happening on the show versus what’s happening in the books they’ve cut out about half a book’s worth of what Tyrion was doing. I’m not really sure why they did that since they are basing these shows on books that are running out of content. You’d think they’d flesh out what material they have instead, but I’m not in charge of this show obviously so I wonder if they are going to bring it around full circle or if this is one of the areas they also make big changes. We’ll see next week!

Cause Jorah just has ball gags laying around. . .for reasons.

Supernatural: The Executioner’s Song. The One Where I Was Sadly Proven Correct

Cain

So a while back I made this prediction about Dean when he took on the Mark. This seems like a huge thing for everyone to be ignoring. The Mark of Cain came from one brother killing another so if Dean has the Mark. . .

However up to this point Cain gave Dean the Mark and then took a hike. Yeah they talk about him every now and then, but they’ve avoided this one huge point. We start this episode finally getting to see him again and we see him killing a horrible nasty murderer on death row. So far I don’t have many issues with that. Plus Cain looks pretty amazing. Life off the farm has done him well. His hair alone is pretty fabulous.

So we now have a mystery to solve, but more importantly we have a reason for Dean and Cain to meet up again.

Cut to Crowley and Mom. Rowena is definitely trying to manipulate Crowley still. I don’t quite get her end game. She’s causing issues in his court, but if he is weakened she will also be weakened. She needs to die. . .soon, but I’ll come back to that later. She tries to get Crowley to kill her enemies for her and even though he sees through it he still seems like he’s going to do it. She also does her best to cause strife between the Winchesters and him. Which isn’t that hard since their working relationship has never been smooth sailing.

Meanwhile Sam and Dean have figured out that Cain is killing whole families and while they are telling that to Cas Cain shows up. Once again I really like Cain. He’s killing people like crazy, but unlike other crazed demons we’ve seen in seasons past he’s not killing because he’s enjoying it. He’s killing because he sees it as his duty. And he doesn’t want to kill people that aren’t on his list of descendants. BTW that would be so many people. That long ago his descendants would be a crazy amount of people. Which they touch on, but still— so many people. One might even say that he’s on a mission from God, Blues Brother’s Style.

Finally the boys figure out where Cain is headed next and they prepare for a battle between Dean and Cain. They do this by pulling Crowley in to help (and by lying to him in the process which just help’s out Rowena’s case) and by using some misdirection to trap him. Long story short he is trapped and Dean comes in to finish him off.

This is where it gets interesting. Cain puts up a good fight, but is it just me or does his heart not seem in it. I’m just saying with the power we’ve seen from Cain it seems like he should have been able to make short work of Dean. So maybe he just wanted to talk to Dean before getting him to take his life. Cain has lost his family, his love, and now his humanity again. The only way he can control himself is to live in isolation. I don’t blame him for wanting all of that to end. So even though the boys have won this fight I don’t think they were ever meant to lose it. Cain seems almost bored with this turn of events.

But what he revealed is what is most important. He finally said what I’ve worried about all this time. Dean taking on the Mark means that he will eventually kill Sam. What I found interesting is that Cain states that Dean will kill Crowley first, then Castiel, then finally Sam, So here’s my new prediction: Crowley is about to die. Once Dean kills him it will cause Dean to panic and really try to find a cure (which they already know if they would just think hard). Other reasons I think Crowley is about to dies are: the writers don’t seem to know what to do with Crowley these days. He’s not near the bad guy he used to be and with his control over demons that whole storyline has kind of fallen to the wayside.Also Rowena is undermining his power which will come to no good end.

As much as I don’t want Crowley to die it feels like the way things are moving.

Although I’m sure it was detrimental to Dean’s mental health to kill Cain I feel like it was more because he wanted to believe that he could keep the Mark under control and everything that happened up in that loft told him that he was doomed to go down the same horrible path that Cain had gone down.

Sam is really worried about Dean now so maybe he really does see the writing on the wall.  I know Sam will do everything he can to help Dean so hopefully he’ll get Rowena or Crowley to cast a less extreme age spell on Dean to get rid of this curse.

I can only hope.

What do you think? Will Dean kill Crowley? Will they finally put together the answer that is right in front of their face?

Supernatural: Halt and Catch Fire. The One Where They Forget How to Fix Dean.

There are many things I love about this episode and probably an equal number of things that frustrate me. Last week we found out how to cure Dean, but evidently no one but me picked up on that. Now the boys are still moodily trying to find a cure and hunting down Cain for help.

So other than the fact that they are ignoring the oblivious answer to fixing the Mark I thought this was a good monster of the week episode. After all we haven’t had a killer truck for a bunch of seasons!  And this one wasn’t even racist. We get to see the navigation system take over and kill the crappy boyfriend which kind of is my nightmare. Not really that my navigation system is going to kill me, but more that it will talk back to me one day. It doesn’t seem too thrilled when it has to recalculate.

The boys find the truck and make short order of it and since it happens so easily and quickly we know that’s totally not the bad guy.

Enter in basic white sorority girl that seems to be having fun screwing her way through college. We soon find out that someone is sending her messages online “I Know What You Did Last Summer” style which, of course, freaks her out. This chick reminds me of early 2000 Brittney Spears so I wasn’t too sad when her power cord came to life and strangled her.

It’s been a while since we had some comedy (other than Dean restraining himself around co-eds). Therefore we have a scene that informs Dean that deleting his Internet history isn’t doing what he thinks it’s doing. Plus he eats a lot of food. Then Sam who hasn’t seen the answer to their Mark problem somehow figures out what the random 810 message on sorority girl’s computer means. They just happen to be in front of the house with the address that has 810 in it to see a woman walk across the street to throw away a bunch of flowers on a telephone pole. Fun Fact: this woman is the same actress and the same name as the woman in season 9 that finds the invisible guy in the women’s locker room (remember the teddy bear doctor episode– if you don’t go watch it again now. It’s one of my favorites).

OK I’m going to take a moment to talk about Dean’s ogling of girls in this episode. I’ve seen a lot of complaining about how this is out of character for Dean or how they are just trying to cram down our throats that Dean is straight. OK seriously people when this season started out Dean was sleeping with some chick he’d met in a nasty bar and just last episode he was trying to pick up Tina. He didn’t hit on her after she became a teen, but she was a teen! I don’t care that he was a teen for a moment too because he was still thinking as an adult and would have seen that she looked like a young girl. Also as much as I enjoy some Destiel fun it’s not real. We have made all that crap up in our heads. So don’t get mad when Dean doesn’t act like he’s pining away for Cas.

OK back to this episode:

The wife talks about her husband’s horrific death and the acts confused when Sam questions her about anything odd. So obviously this totally has something to do with what’s going on.

Switch back to some more college kids talking about their big secret. Boy wants to keep the secret and Girl (basic white girl’s roommate) wants to come clean before they get in more trouble. Boy is a super douche and shortly gets his brain liquefied by his loud music (cause that is totally a normal way to kill someone). Still no big loss yet.

Delilah (last standing sorority girl) finally breaks down and tells the boys what happened and what exactly 810 means. Turns out that a few months ago all the victims and her had been driving around while texting and checking Facebook which caused another car to crash into a telephone pole. Instead of stopping to help the guy they drive off afraid of the consequences of driving in a suspended licence. While driving away they see that a power line fell on the car catching it on fire and killing the guy inside. OK I totally believe that would happen. College kids are idiots. She has been wracked with guilt since the incidence and feels relieved at actually being able to admit what she was a part of.

The boys go to work trying to figure out how to vanquish this ghost who has been cremated and they can’t figure out how he’s holding on. Sam goes off to try to figure it out while Dean stays to protect Delilah. It comes to light that the telephone pole was connected to an Internet tower and so the ghost is travelling through wifi.

While Sam is working Dean and Delilah have  a hear to heart chat about how to cope with doing bad things. Dean is somehow both horrible and great at this.

 Way to go Dean, recommend excessive drinking and repression. It seems to be working for him right now though. This is the happiest I’ve seen Dean in a long time. Well after this interlude of feels Sam realizes that they need to get away from all wireless signals to protect Delilah. So yeah about that. . .there’s a lot of wireless devices. When the image of the dead man starts showing up on all her devices Dean does the calm rational thing– and hits them all with his crowbar. He evidently had never heard of unplugging and removing the batteries. Then $4000 in damage later they abandon her room to hide out in the basement only to be cornered by a cell phone that had been lost in the couch cushions.

Never fear!  Sam is to the rescue with a short talk with the widow of the ghost he gets her to talk to her dead husband– Facetime style– saving Dean just in time and allowing her husband to move on.

The big thing that I don’t understand is the wife’s openness to meet with Delilah at the end of the episode. I know that Delilah was feeling bad, but I don’t know that I could be nice to the chick that caved to peer pressure instead of saving my husband. Of course having my husband go psycho killer ghost might help with the healing process.

The boys round out the episode with a heart to heart in the Impala about how Dean wants to stop looking for a cure and he just wants to live his life. Pretty sure you’ve already figured out a cure a hell of a lot easier than finding Cain, but sure whatever. I am glad that Dean seems to be coping and happy.

I would have found this so much more touching if the obvious solution wasn’t right in front of their faces.

Next week: Cain is back!  And makes Dean look super sane and well adjusted.

Supernatural: About a Boy– The One Where We Figured Out How to Fix Dean.

Deanaboutaboy

I feel like I have done nothing but praise this season, but it deserves it. Season 7 had some issues and with the exception of Kevin Tran Season 8 was sketchy. So I was happy when Season 9 looked to be turning it around, but remained slightly skeptical. Had this show gone on too long? Had they killed all the bad guys and needed to call it quits? OK don’t leave me on that statement. I love this show– maybe a little too much, but shows deserve to have an ending to work towards. I would rather a show end earlier than I’d like and end well than drag out and become a farce (ahem– Charmed and Suits I’m looking at you). As much as I didn’t want this show to end I hated that the show seemed to be losing it’s way.

Well Season 10 has been everything I could have hoped. Are there still storylines that I don’t like? Yes, but there are so many more things that I love so I can overlook the fact that Metatron hasn’t had his spine ripped out yet.

So back to this week’s episode– when I saw the preview I was slightly skeptical of how they would work out Dean being a teenager again, but Dylan Everett delivered the goods once again. I spoke my praises of him before and I stand by those. Dylan IS a young Dean. Yeah he looks like Jensen, but that’s not all he becomes Dean.

In this episode we see big boy Dean struggling with the Mark and what he did to Charlie. He’s obsessed (as he likes to be) and is trying to find a way to remove the Mark. It’s obviously not going well and Sam finds a case to help distract him. Can I say once again how glad I am that the boys are working together again and not hiding things or angry with each other?  Cause it’s awesome to see them bicker and fight like brothers instead of really tearing each other apart.

As someone with 4 brothers this is real life. Nothing is ever forgotten– especially if it’s embarrassing.

Dean reluctantly agrees to work the case– and begins to pick up a chick of course (a woman that obviously doesn’t belong in that dive bar. I’ve been in bars like that (for research purposes of course) and women that hang out in bars like that during the day have a more rode hard and put up wet look).  Thinking he was washing out in the bar he is about to leave when he realizes said girl is about to get abducted herself and of course tries to save her. Yeah that doesn’t turn out so well.

Turns out the bad guys aren’t killing the people they take (right away), but turning them into little kids and locking them up in a scary basement. Enter Dylan Everett.

After some witty remarks between little Dean and Tina we switch back to Sam’s search for Dean. Here’s probably my favorite moment of this episode. We get a glimpse at Scary Sam that I’ve kinda missed here lately. Sam struggled with the darkness inside of himself for so long and has finally gotten it so under control that it’s easy to forget that he was once a demon blood drinking psycho. But here’s my boy:

Sam, who is an ask questions first kill later, kinda guy doesn’t waste time with this guy and goes straight to the knocking skulls mode. I love Scary Sam (when it comes to protecting family).

Of course Dean escapes and finds Sam and hilarity ensues. As well as some dramatic tension of course.

 

Which is all hilarious, but we did learn this one super important thing:

OK so the problem’s fixed!  The Mark is gone. Obviously even though Dylan is doing an amazing job as Dean they aren’t going to replace Jensen so we know this fix isn’t going to last, but just remember this huge plot development for later.

Next they arrive at the scary witch’s house and this happens:

OK sorry that has nothing to do with major plot development, but come on that’s funny. And totally what guys would say to each other no matter how serious the situation.

They corner the creepy dude that is nabbing the people and he plays the “the witch is controlling me card” and the guys think he’s on their side. So of course after they find out how to get Dean back to his real age they go in guns blazing to save Tina and kill the witch. Which goes well.

The witch, who is played by Lesley Nicol (Downton Abbey), turns out to be Gretel (as in Hansel and Gretel and as in the sister of creepy dude that they thought was on their side) and plans to eat them all. During her bad guy tirade she lets it drop that she’s in America to take care of Rowena for the Grand Coven. Dean’s knowledge of Rowena throws her off her game which gives the boys the opening that they were looking for.

Sam attacks Hansel and then moves on to the witch while Dean tussles with Hansel. During the fight Dean manages to grab the hex bag that was around Hansel’s neck (which turned him young) and turns himself back into an adult. Then, as you do, he shoved the bag into Gretel’s mouth and shoved her in the fire to burn alive. Yay, the guys have saved the day, saved the girl (who looks forward to being able to get a do over on life) and sends her on her way with some cash.

But wait lets go back to that Grand Coven thing.

So we know now that the Grand Coven wants Rowena, we know where to find Rowena and we know that there is a witchy fix for Dean’s problem. Throwing Dean back into his 14 year old body got rid of the Mark so if Dean can just got back to his body from right before he got the Mark then he will still (mostly) be the same age and be Mark free. Done! No trials, no need to ever see Metatron again and minimal working with the bad guys to fix this.

So now they just need to find the Grand Coven and make a deal. Yeah that’s fraught with issues of it’s own, but I’d rather work with witches than demons or angels at this point. They’ve made a couple witch friends so they might can even skirt the Grand Coven, but they probably won’t go that route. Now I’m just wondering how long before they put all this together on the show (hopefully just next week).

I love how optimistic Dean is and I love how much Sam just wanted his big brother back.

Of course I can’t write all of this without mentioning the thing that Dean admitted to that is a dirty little secret in so many of our own lives. That dirty, filthy secret is: it’s hard to not jam out to some Taylor Swift these days.

Game of Thrones: The Children. A Shot Though the Heart. . .or wherever whores go. . .

Tyrionfathers

Finales are almost always full of surprises and shocking twists and reveals. This episode was no different and of course they left out/made changes so that all of us readers would be angry surprised.

We see Jon walking out to treat with Mance Rayder.  He does it bravely and walks right up to certain death.  Well at least in the books it was certain death, here it looks like they have a tea party (pinkies out Jon Snow!). Mance asks for passage through the Wall for his people to ensure their safety against what is rising (aka the Whitewalkers). During their meeting Mance gives Jon food and drink therefore he’s been offered guest right and it would be a huge deal if he was killed or killed Mance. There have been people who have ignored that sacred agreement in the past and it has resulted in horrific results (The Red Wedding and Craster’s Keep).

During this exchange suddenly Stannis shows up and I have to say this was beautifully shot.  The army sweeping in was impressive. Mance realizes he is surrounded and tells his people to stand down (although how they are supposed to have heard him all over camp I’m unsure). Things that are important here are the facts that Mance refuses to kneel when surrendering and that Jon, although acknowledges that Stannis is the Kings, doesn’t take any crap from him.  Jon is a man of the Night’s Watch and the Night’s Watch is an entity unto it’s own.  They are not suppose to involve themselves in issues not concerning the Wall.

What the Watchlings don’t know

I touched on it last week, but once again, Jon was forced to go out and meet with Mance by people at the Wall that wished him dead.  He was expected to be killed by the Wildlings because of his betrayal of them.  This probably would have occurred as well if Stannis hadn’t shown up like he did. Mance does just want his people to cross.  He has seen just a bit of the horrors that are coming and wants to bring his people to safety past the Wall.  Jon will later come up with a very interesting solution to this problem.

stannis

Now back to The Mountain and Cersei.  I told you last week to not give up on the Viper yet.  The weapon that Oberyn used while fighting Gregor was poisoned with Manticore  venom which is deadly with no known cure. So not only is The Mountain dying– he’s dying an horrific death. Pycelle recommends the milk of the poppy to ease him into an easy death, but Qyburn says that he may know a way to help him.  Against Pycelle’s objections Cersei gives Qyburn permission to work on Gregor.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Qyburn isn’t a Maester.  He was kicked out of the Citadel for experiments he did on the dead and dying and doesn’t have a Maester’s chain.  Cersei however begins using him as her Maester and allows him to experiment on Gregor and other prisoners in the black cells.  Also the Mountain is in great pain from the Manticore venom and in the books his screams can be heard all over the castle.  He was finally moved down to the black cells to muffle the sound. The venom was eating slowly through his skin and nothing they did helped.  Qyburn later brings up a huge skull and claims the Mountain to be dead.  That skull was sent to Dorne as proof of his death, but later Qyburn will trot out a huge man that doesn’t speak, eat, drink or pee named Ser Robert Strong.  Ser Robert also never removes his armor and his face is never seen. If he even has a face.

Everything went Cersei’s way with Pycelle and Qyburn so I guess she figured it was a good time to confront her dad.  Cut to Cersei and Tywin arguing over if she is getting married or not. My thing is that he was trying to marry her to a gay man (here– not so much in the books) so that’s probably her best option.  Loras probably wouldn’t have had an issue with her and Jaime doing it all the time.  One less thing for him to do.

However it was glorious to watch her tell Tywin about her and Jaime. Cersei almost looks like a good mother with her speech about how much she loves Tommen and what she will do to save him from Tywin. She pushes her’s and Jaime’s relationship into his face and then scampers off to have sex with Jaime again. Of course Jaime doesn’t see this for what it is.  Cersei verifying that Jaime is on her side again.  She offers up herself to seal the deal.  She hopes that someone walks in (namely their father) and catches them in the act.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Cersei is the most manipulative person ever.  Oh wait. . .you got that one.  OK then, Jaime is about to be fed up with Cersei and things are about to become interesting for her.  Let’s just say next season laying on a table having sex with Jaime will not be the position that she’s in.

Now we move on to Dany trying to rule Meereen. I’ve said it before and I”ll say it again I hate her story line from now until the end of the 5th book. She’s torn between freeing the slaves and allowing the slaves that want to go back to their masters go back. As it has always been with slavery there are a very few people that are treated well while being captives. They are one of the family and want to go back to that position.  Now that being said the Masters will try to take advantage of this and this is just the start of the bad news for Dany.  Next we see a man crying and delivering his 3 year old little girl’s bones claiming that Drogon flew from the sky and killed her.  Ummmm yeah Dany. . .I got some news for you: you have dragons. . .they are kind of dangerous. I thought you knew that about them.

Her amazing answer to this to lock up the two dragons that she still has some control over.  Cause yeah if you have a vicious animal it helps them if you lock them up on a short chain away from any contact with humans. Also the dragons were the only thing the people of Meereen were afraid of so now the Masters will have even more power to manipulate her. Good job Dany.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Dany is so concerned with the safety of her people that she forgets how to be strong. She forgets that she is a dragon. I’m also going to step into theory land here for a bit. I think the way that dragons are controlled are the same way that the direwolves are controlled. As in they each need a warg to communicate with. Dany doesn’t realize this and doesn’t know how to make this connection with her dragons. I’ve stated it in other places too, but if you don’t want a big spoiler– skip the next sentence: Dany will finally figure out how to warg/communicate with Drogon, Jon Snow will make a connection with Viserion and then the other true Targaryen will get Rhaegal (Tyrion, Aegon, someone yet unknown?).

dragons

Next we get to see the Night’s watch burn their dead.  OK a touching scene for the most part, but they would have stripped the dead. Yes is normal times maybe a dead man would have been buried in his armor or boiled leather, but during war?  Even an officer would be stripped down to his bare skin as to not waste good clothing or armor. OK end rant.

Otherwise this is a touching scene showing the price of war.  Also an important thing is that The Red Woman and Jon look at each other through the fire. The continuation of this scene is just as interesting.  Tormund and Jon talk about how the dead Wildlings should be handled and Tormund tells Jon that Ygritte really loved him.  That he knew because she wanted to kill him. They then have a cryptic exchange about how she belongs to the true North.  Which Jon takes to mean that she needs to be burned next to a heart tree so that she is given back to the old gods.  You can tell that Jon is shaken.

What the Watchlings don’t know

The Red Woman is going to become very interested in Jon Snow in the next bit. In some ways this is good and in some ways this is bad.  Also remember that she’s still dying to burn a king alive to wake the stone dragon and they have Mance Rayder (aka The King Beyond the Wall) in custody now. If you wonder why she’s interested in Jon just Google R+L=J. I haven’t written my theories on all this yet, but there is plenty on the Internet to occupy you for the next few hours/days about that.

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Jojen, Meera, Hodor, Summer and Bran are trudging along to get to the Three Eyed Crow (or Raven as they call it) and when all seems lost they finally see the Weirwood tree they have been searching for. Seems to easy right? Right. Suddenly “Pirates of the Caribbean”  style a bunch of skeletons pop out of the ice and start attacking them. Bran of course takes over Hodor and begins getting things done. Jojen is yelling for Bran to save himself and then gets stabbed in the stomach numerous times. The Children of the Forest appear and save Bran with fire and Meera slits Jojen’s throat as a mercy killing.  Safe in the tree protected by its magic Bran finds the Three Eyed Crow only to find out that he will still never walk again. (Duh). So he’s reached his goal, he found out that the TEC is some old man with a weirwood growing into him, and Jojen is dead. Yay!  Happy ending!  Hmmm not so much.

What the Watchlings don’t know

So they should have had this guide from from moment they passed over the Wall. The guide’s name is Coldhands and he appears to be a wight, but can talk and seems to be working to help them. He saves them from the attack that is shown in this episode by calling the ravens that he controls to attack the wights. Also he’s probably a dead Stark. And he’s cool.

So in the books Jojen isn’t dead yet.  Now there’s a theory that he is dead, but Bran doesn’t know it yet, but he definitely isn’t dead at this moment in the story.  With George RR Martin supervising I guess that it’ll all work out, but I don’t really see the upside to killing Jojen off early.  Unless maybe his Phineas and Ferb schedule was too demanding.

Ahhh Brienne and Pod.  Our comic relief! Yay for happy times. Right? Oh yeah– we’re watching Game of Thrones.  But wait!  Now she sees Arya.  She’s found a Stark girl!  She’s going to fulfill her vows. All is right. Brienne tells Arya about her sword and Arya tells her about her sword.  They talk about how fighting is fun and they are independent women and such.  Then The Hound shows up and ruins it all. Brienne tells Arya of her vow and The Hound jumps to the wrong conclusion of why they are there. (Best line of the night: Brienne: I’ll take you to safety. The Hound: Safety? Where the f*&k is that?!) Insert fabulous fight scene where Brienne pulls a Mike Tyson and beats The Hound (go Brienne!– kinda– cause I like The Hound too).

Arya takes this time to run off and hide– what she does best and when Brienne and Pod run off to find her she returns to The Hound to check on him.  Quickly she realizes he’s going to die and he begs her to be merciful and end it. Then when she doesn’t he begins saying horrible things to her, yet she still doesn’t. Instead she grabs his money and runs away with it. This exchange between the two of them is more heartbreaking than when Jon watched Ygritte die.  I truly think that The Hound loved Sansa romantically and loved Arya like a sister/daughter. Yes he sucked at showing love, but I feel like they changed him. Sadly Arya still doesn’t care and left him there to rot.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Brienne and Pod never found Arya– she hears rumors that Arya is alive, but never actually finds her. Instead she finds a lovely character named Lady Stoneheart that I really really hope shows up next season. You may have seen the Internet explode with disappointment that she didn’t show up in the finale, but if you missed that let’s just say that I bet you didn’t see her coming.

The Hound/Arya scene does happen though.  However it’s not because of a battle with Brienne, but rather a wound from a fight that festers and she leaves him to die under a tree. It’s uncertain as to whether he actually died or not.

Dude, he kinda has a point

Finally!  Here’s the big moment. Jaime saves Tyrion from execution and they share a loving embrace at the foot of the exit. Thennnnnnnnnn Tyrion gets this calculating look on his face and heads off to visit his daddy. Of course Shea is laying naked in Tywin’s bed and is mostly shocked to see Tyrion in the room. Don’t worry he manages to strangle her with the gold chain she’s wearing. Enter the crossbow from the wall and a trip to the privy.

Tywin is obviously very surprised to be visited by the son that he thinks is locked up waiting for execution. Tywin tries to take control of the situation with forcefulness and flattery. Yeah that doesn’t work so well for him. He calls Tyrion’s bluff and gets a crossbow bolt for his troubles. That doesn’t slow down his mockery of Tyrion so he follows up with another bolt. Varys sees the situation and hurries Tyrion off to the boat. Once he hears the bells he decides to join Tyrion on the boat.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Jaime does save Tyrion and sets him free.  However before parting ways Jaime admits to lying to Tyrion about his wife Tysha.  She wasn’t a whore after all. I explain it more in depth here . This spurs him to go confront Tywin about it, he finds Shea, kills her, then kills Tywin. His shot to Tywin is through the intestines which immediately causes him to poop everywhere.  Tywin tells Tyrion before his death that Tysha went “wherever whores go” which haunts him throughout book 5.

The only other thing is that Varys doesn’t leave yet– he has a few more people to kill before he abandons King’s Landing.  However those people haven’t had huge roles in the show so maybe that’s why they chose this time to let him escape.

Arya has made it to the narrow sea and tries to buy passage on a boat to the Wall to get to Jon, but the ship isn’t going north. When she hears that the ship is going to Braavos she gives the captain the coin she got from Jaqen H’ghar and not only receives passage, but gets a cabin.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Big things are going to happen for Arya next season.  Braavos starts a big new chapter in her life that will change everything for her.

Now just to wait a year for the next season. . .

Game of Thrones: The Watchers on the Wall. You know nothing.

We are quickly approaching the season finale so we know we’re going to see a good bit of action between this episode and the next. This episode starts out with Jon and Sam talking on the top of the Wall about love and loss and death.  Sam gets Jon to talk about Ygritte and Sam admits to his desire to have sex with Gilly and pretty much says the only thing stopping him is the fact she didn’t offer.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Sam probably wanted to have sex with Gilly the whole time he was helping her, but he never would have admitted that.  In fact in the books she comes on to him pretty strong (after this time) and he turns her down repeatedly because of his vows.  Sam says that he’s a coward, but he is one of the strongest willed people on the Wall.  He sees things in right and wrong even if his idea of what is right isn’t exactly what others would agree with.  Also Jon probably wouldn’t have talked so freely about Ygritte.  He does love her and dreams of being able to truly be with her, but is ashamed of his actions with her even though The Halfhand ordered him to do whatever it took to blend in.

Moving on to Ygritte we get to hear Tormund Giantsbane tell part of his story about sleeping with a bear. Tormund is one of my favorite characters in the books and I’m sad we didn’t get to hear the whole story.  Ygritte however interrupts him and fights with the cannibal Wildlings. More specifically the leader of the Thenns.

What the Watchlings don’t know

The Thenns in the books weren’t cannibals and although they were scary dudes they weren’t creepy like these guys.  I’m guessing that the Thenns are being used to combine all the bad things about the Wildlings and to take the place of a character named Rattleshirt.  I’m not horribly upset with this change though.  I can see the sense in consolidating.

Here is that story from Tormund since it was cut short on the show:

I was in me Ruddy Hall, with only a cask o’ mead to keep me company and nothing to do but drink it. The more I drank, the more I got thinking about this woman lived close by, a fine strong woman with the biggest pair of teats you ever saw. She had a temper on her that one, but oh, she could we warm too, and in the deep of winter a man needs his warmth.

“The more I drank, the more I thought about her, and the more I thought the harder me member got, till I couldn’t suffer it no more. Fool that I was I bundled meself up in furs from head to heels, wrapped a winding wool around me face, and set off to find her. The snow was coming down so hard I got turned around once or twice, and the wind blew right through me and froze me bones, but finally I come on her, all bundled up like I was.

“The woman had a terrible temper, and she put up quite the fight when I laid hands on her. It was all I could do to carry her home and get her out o’ them furs, but when I did, oh, she was hotter than even I remembered, and we had a fine old time, and then I went to sleep. Next morning when I woke the snow had stopped and the sun was shining, but I was in no fit state to enjoy it. All ripped and torn I was, and had me member bit right off, and there on me floor was a she-bear’s pelt. And soon enough the free folk were telling tales of this bald bear seen in the woods, with the queerest pair o’ cubs behind her. Har!” He slapped his meaty thigh. “Would that I could find her again. She was fine to lay with, that bear. Never was a woman give me such a fight, nor such strong sons neither.”

There is the theory that the “bear” he slept with was a Mormont woman, perhaps Lord Mormont’s sister. I don’t know that I buy that, but that would make for an interesting twist!

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Swap back to Sam still talking about sex. Seriously Sam I don’ t think you’re supposed to tell everyone about how you want to break your vows? OK we get it you think Gilly in all her incestuous glory is hot. But wait! I bet all of you Watchlings had forgotten about Maester Aemon told Jon Snow that before he became a Maester he was Aemon Targaryen. Don’t worry they are reinforcing that again for you.

And then all of a sudden Gilly shows up with the baby and Sam suddenly gets his courage. . .right before the Wildlings show up.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Once again Sam felt strongly about Gilly, but he didn’t flagrantly flaunt any desires to break his vows or “go with her wherever she goes.” I’m guessing they are setting up this storyline to help you out a little later with some stuff that happens. . .and stuff.  But unless they speed that part of the plot along it’ll be a while before anything develops on that front.

So Maester Aemon once again brings up his heritage, probably just to remind everyone that had forgotten it since it was first told a few seasons ago.  This is important though because The Red Woman is on the hunt for King’s blood to do spells with and Aemon comes from kings.  Also it’s important because eventually even Maester Aemon will hear about Dany and her dragons.

Enter the beginning of the Wildling battle. Now I’m not one for epic battle scenes, but the show does this really well.  It was very much reminiscent of The Battle of Helms Deep.  All we needed was an elf and a dwarf competing over the number of kills and it could have been straight from The Lord of the Rings. I’m not going to break down every bit of this battle so I’ll just hit the highlights as they come about.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Janos Slynt is being used to manipulate the Wall from King’s Landing– not very well, but that’s one of the reasons he is such an ass to Jon Snow. Janos is really a horrible human being even more so than the show makes him seem. This episode showed Ser Alliser pretty much tell Jon that the was right, but he didn’t care that he was right. Yeah him and Janos get along well.  That’s all.

Also Sam is getting braver, but not quite so brave as it looks here.  I do love that they have Sam encouraging all the brothers.  He’s the last person you’d think would lend courage to others. Finally the giants should be important later on. Know that most people thought giants extinct too so just the sight of giants attacking was disconcerting for the Black Brothers.

 

Continued death and destruction from the Wildlings– all the blood and guts you could desire. Scary giants, scary mammoths, scary Wildlings. Many people die and it’s hard to keep track of all the deaths, but 0f course there is just one death that they want to you be sure to have emotional damage about. Ygritte.

“Jon Snow, is this a proper castle now? Not just a tower?”“It is.” Jon took her hand.“Good,” she whispered. “I wanted t’ see one proper castle, before … before I …”“You’ll see hundred castles. The battle’s done. Maester Aemon will see to you. You’re kissed by fire, remember? Lucky. It will take more than an arrow to kill you. Aemon will draw it out and patch you up, and we’ll get milk of the poppy for the pain.”She just smiled at that. “D’you remember that cave? We should have stayed in that cave. I told you so.”“We’ll go back to the cave,” he said.” You’re not going to die, Ygritte. You’re not.”“Oh.” Ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she sighed, dying.”

“Jon Snow, is this a proper castle now? Not just a tower?”“It is.” Jon took her hand.“Good,” she whispered. “I wanted t’ see one proper castle, before … before I …”“You’ll see hundred castles. The battle’s done. Maester Aemon will see to you. You’re kissed by fire, remember? Lucky. It will take more than an arrow to kill you. Aemon will draw it out and patch you up, and we’ll get milk of the poppy for the pain.”She just smiled at that. “D’you remember that cave? We should have stayed in that cave. I told you so.”“We’ll go back to the cave,” he said.” You’re not going to die, Ygritte. You’re not.”“Oh.” Ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she sighed, dying.”

What the Watchlings don’t know

Jon didn’t see Ygritte die exactly like this.  He found her after the battle with an arrow through her and then worried/dreamed that he had been the one that had killed her during the battle and didn’t realize it. She did die in his arms, but it wasn’t quite so poignant as this scene.  This is one time I will say that I prefer how it was changed to how it was written.  There was closure here.  Jon saw her, felt relief at her presence even if she did look like she was about to kill him, and then got to say goodbye after she was shot. It was nice to have a good end to this love story. And by good I mean heartbreaking end, but I think everyone knew how that would end.

Sam and Jon are walking around and leading the clean up from the battle.  Then Jon announces his intentions to go and treat with Mance Rayder and try to put an end to this without more loss of life. I want to know where Ghost is? He was let out so why is he not at Jon’s side.  I would think Jon would want him by his side during this interaction with Mance.

Last comment from the episode is that the variations on the theme song were amazing.  It was dark and pulled at one’s emotions just by hearing that familiar, yet different, line of music.  Beautiful.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Ser Alliser and Janos Slynt were not present during this battle, but showed up after it was done to talk about what should have happened.  They then forced Jon Snow to go out and meet with Mance Rayder fulling assuming that Mance would kill Jon for his betrayal.  That’s the way it appears to be going until. . . something happens that I’m assuming we’ll see next week.

I love that Jon is a strong character and seems to be in control, but also miss that level of desperation that Jon felt being sent to his most certain death.

Next week will be so very very eventful.  We have a wedding to plan, a wife to kill and Guilder to frame for it.  Or maybe a peace to negotiate, a dwarf to kill and a whore to blame for it.

Boob count: 0 (! Really HBO? I’m surprised you didn’t throw in a female giant’s boob)

Major Character Death: 1 (Ygritte)

Tyrion Lannister: Impin’ ain’t easy

tyrion

Tyrion never had it easy. Tyrion is the third child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister and even if he’d been born “normal” I think he would have still had a hard life. Cersei and Jaime were nine by the time Tyrion came around and has been established that they already had a physical relationship by this point. I feel that any new sibling no matter how perfect would have been seen as an interloper.  Cersei and Jaime always were their own thing. Cersei sees Jaime as her’s and no one else can have him. A bratty younger brother definitely wouldn’t have been welcome, but a deformed “monster” that killed their mother in childbirth? Yeah, he was screwed from the get go.

Tyrion was constantly belittled and berated by his father and openly mocked and hated by his sister. The only love he found was from his brother Jaime and the only respect was from people that were paid to do his bidding. This loneliness shapes who he will become.  He sympathizes with others that have similarly been treated unfairly or are being used because of their weaknesses (Jon Snow, the Night’s Watch, various whores, Tommen, Sansa Stark, etc.).

There are a few events that I feel really shaped Tyrion’s life and the biggest one of those being his very short marriage at the age of 13.  He and Jaime saved a girl named Tysha from men out on the open road and that began a relationship between that two that culminated in a secret marriage.  Once Tywin found out about the marriage he exposed the girl as a whore that had been hired by Jaime and then proceeded to have her passed around by his guards paying her a silver coin for each and then having Tyrion do the same, but pay her in a gold coin since he was a Lannister.

I think this episode in his life showed him that happiness isn’t real and that he could never trust anyone, but Jaime when it came to love and loyalty.  It also showed him, once again, that his father harbored no love for him.

He sees Jaime as his only true friend and protector (from the few back-stories they tell about Tyrion as a child Jaime repeatedly stood up for him against his sister) and I think that that made Jaime’s lack of support during his trial that much harder to process for Tyrion.  Jaime had never been pushed so hard to choose between Cersei and Tyrion, much less Cersei and Tywin vs Tyrion and Tyrion sees Jaime’s actions as choosing Tywin and Cersei over him.

Before Tyrion’s scheduled execution Jaime forces Varys to assist in freeing him.  During his escape Jaime admits to Tyrion that the woman he met at 13 and that he married wasn’t really a whore, but may have possibly really loved him. This revelation shakes him to the core and I feel that it pushed him over the edge where his father was concerned. Now here we begin to step into theory land.  There is a line of thought that Oberyn Martell poisoned Tywin Lannister before his death and that was the reason that he was on the toilet when Tyrion went to kill him. The poison that it is thought he used was one that traps all toxins in the body until the person dies.  There is also a theory that Tyrion had guessed The Viper’s actions and that’s why he wasn’t surprised that Tywin was in the privy. OK to continue. . .

Tyrion then goes and finds his father’s chambers only to find Shea naked in Tywin’s bed– yet another betrayal by someone he thought loved him.  He quickly strangles her and then goes to find his father.  After asking his father about where his first wife went after Tywin threw her away Tywin replied with, “Wherever whores go.” This phrase continues to haunt Tyrion during his exile.

Catch phrase: Wherever whores go.

Theories

There are quite a few theories about Tyrion and I can’t say that I’ve decided whether I buy them or not. I’ll cover the one that I buy somewhat and you’re more than welcome of fall down the rabbit hole that is the Internet if you want to see some of the others.

Tyrion is a secret Targaryen. So the theory is that Aerys attacked/seduced Joanna Lannister and got her pregnant with Tyrion. The groundwork for this is that Semly told Daenerys that Aerys offended Tywin during the bedding portion of the reception by taking certain liberties while disrobing Joanna.  Semly also stated that he didn’t necessarily love Joanna Lannister more than he loved his wife, but wanted her. We then know that there was a desire for her, we know that he was crazy, and we know that he felt entitled to what he wanted.

Issues

Why would Tywin have continued as Aerys’ Hand? Why would Tywin not have acknowledged Tyrion as a bastard especially                 since he was a source of embarrassment? If Joanna was attacked why didn’t she go immediately to Tywin for protection?                       Why wouldn’t Tywin have used Tyrion for his own gains if he truly is have Targaryen?

OK so my thought is that Tywin is not afraid of playing the long game.  So maybe he didn’t know for sure, but only suspected that Tyrion wasn’t his. Or perhaps he knew if he left the service of the king he would never be able to exact revenge (NOTE: he did leave Aerys after Jaime was chosen to be a member of the Kingsguard, but maybe he thought that he would lose all if he remained with Aerys). — I don’t like any of this much at all.

Perhaps instead this scenario:

Aerys attacked/seduced/demanded sex from Joanna once or numerous times.  She was afraid to ask for help from Tywin because she knew what his reaction would be and she knew that Aerys wouldn’t hesitate to kill Tywin. I can think of all kinds of things that could have been held over her, threats against her twins, threats against Tywin, knowledge that if Tywin was killed that Aerys would have had even more control over her. Once she was finally able to get away and back to Casterly Rock she discovered that she was pregnant.  Perhaps a failed abortion attempt resulted in Tyrion’s deformity? We do not know where Joanna was during conception, but we do know that she was at Casterly Rock with the twins while pregnant. After abortion didn’t work the knowledge of the true father was kept a secret to protect her husband and her children.

The most interesting part of this theory to me is the fact that Joanna died after childbirth. This is similar to Lyanna (if you buy the R+L=J theory which is widely accepted) as well and Rhella (Daenerys’ mother).  It is known that a dragon must be made with a death (it is known) so if Tyrion, Daenerys, and Jon are the three heads of the dragon, their lives were bought with their mother’s deaths.

There are other small things thrown it, he dreamed of dragons, always wanted a dragon, learned as much as he could about dragons, from what we’ve learned about Rhaegar I feel like they have similar core values, and he has mismatched eyes.  There are other Targaryen bastards that had this trait so possibly it is just a trait of his dwarfism, but also maybe it’s a trait of his heritage. Tywin also repeatedly says that Tyrion is not his son and when Tyrion asked for Casterly Rock he states that he can’t prove that Tyrion isn’t his and that’s why he is allowed to wear his colors, but he will never have the Rock.

Part of me wishes this theory is true– I’d love to see Tyrion become a head of the dragon and be appreciated by more that just the readers.  I also feel like all this might be a red herring thrown out by GRRM.

What are your thoughts? Do you think this theory is a bunch of crap or do you buy it?

I believe we can all agree that Tyrion has had a rough life and it appears that it’s just going to get rougher.

Supernatural: Do you Believe in Miracles? But. . .Dean?!

Wow.  Just wow.  They didn’t pull any punches in this episode. I’ve drug my feet a bit writing this just because I know this episode is going to be hard to watch again. I’m not going to have this post be a blow by blow of what happened in the episode, but rather talk about the big stuff, then throw out theories and mostly wallow in some emotion.

We start out with Angry Dean being pulled off of Gadreel and then Sam and Cas lock him up in the dungeon to go help Gadreel. I think even Dean at this moment realizes that something is up (after all he’s not really the type to vomit in the corner).

One very serious thing before we move on: Can you read the above GIF set and not sing “Let it Go” in your head at the end of it? If you can– consider yourself lucky– and probably childless.

Back to the episode let me just say that the raw emotion that Jensen Ackles’ conveys in this episode is heartbreaking. From the beginning when he is enlisting Crowley’s help to kill Metatron to the end when he’s, well. . .let’s not talk about that yet.

I’ve expressed my love for Gadreel before and I’m really glad that he had an ending as a character that redeemed his actions against the boys and Kevin. I’ve never thought that Gadreel would have acted as he had if he had known the whole situation. I also bought that the panic he felt being caged again in prison would have pushed him to sacrifice himself to save Castiel. Oh, and I still think Hannah is messed up.

You can finally rest, Gadreel.

You can finally rest, Gadreel.

You can finally rest, Gadreel.

Now to focus on the worst thing ever in the history of anything. Dean is dead. Dead and the Winchesters have run through their “Get out of Jail Free” cards pretty quickly. Oh and Sam? You wouldn’t save Dean if he died? How many times did you say that?

Yeah I don’t think that any of us bought that Sam would sit back and let Dean die if he was hurt. And this? This was when I started crying:

I’m proud of you boys too Dean. At this moment there was no throwing things in each other’s faces, no frustration, just the love that all us fans want to see between the boys. Just. Perfection.

After all of Sam’s declarations that when they die they should just die I found it interesting that he didn’t even hesitate before saying that they would find a spell and then after Dean had died he went straight away to summon Crowley. Does he plan on making a deal? Or does he think he can just demand that Crowley saves him since Dean killed Abaddon for him? I do know that he isn’t expecting what is actually happening.

So yeah. Dean is dead and Cas finds out about it from the douchiest douche ever.  Out of all the evil angels I’ve hated Metatron the worst. Zachariah and the others KNEW they were messed up, but did what they did anyway. Even when Cas was evil Cas I still loved him. Metatron should have known better, but was horrible in the Yellow King way, or that husband that beats his wife to teach her a lesson. I can only imagine what Cas is going through sitting there, thinking Dean is dead and having Metatron brag about killing him.

That’s why it made me so happy to see Castiel outwit Metatron. Metatron, who this whole story arc has thought he was smarter, more conniving and better prepared then everyone else, got screwed by his magic Angel CB, a device that he had made to control the Angels even more than he was. The fact that Cas was able to do this was a testament to everything he’s picked up from the boys over the years. Sometimes when you can’t overpower your enemy it’s best to outsmart them. I really wish that Cas had shoved that angel blade into his throat. OK maybe not. Maybe Cas doing the right thing will show all the other angels that he really is the best little angel ever. He definitely showed more control than I would have expected. After all this is Dean we are talking about. Yes, Metatron took his Grace away, but now he’s taken Dean away from him too.  All Destiel-ness aside Dean really is special to Cas.  He’s the human  thing that has been there for Cas no matter what.

Now back to the whole Dean issue.  He’s definitely dead.  I was hoping for a last minute Angel healing or some other type of miracle, but no dice on that front.  Well and then Crowley shows up. Crowley who has never been evil for the sake of being evil, but just manipulative for his own gain. We now see how long of a game he’s been playing with Dean. This bromance just got serious.  Cause this is what happened:

Evidently after you die after you get the Mark you become a demon.  Yeah that would have been an important detail to find out Dean before taking on this thing. Cause don’t you remember that turning into a demon is kinda your worst nightmare?

I wonder how Sam is going to react to this new development. After all Sam has been in a similar– if not quite so extreme position when he was addicted to demon blood and Dean reacted like this:

I hope that Sam handles this better. I hope that Sam has learned his lesson about helping Dean instead of fighting with him. Sam does like to pick fights and whine about Dean’s decisions though. I guess we’ll find out in October.

We also have another big thing that needs to be solved quickly. Cas is dying too. He needs to get his Grace back ASAP so he doesn’t burn out and die.

The things that I will stew on between now and October:

  1. How will Dean behave now that he’s a Demon? Will he fight it or is all his humanity automatically gone? Will he be a crazy bad demon since he was a hunter for so long and so will know all the tricks?
  2. Will Sam and Cas work together to try to cure Dean? After all they’ve established that you can cure a demon.
  3. How close is Cas to death? Where is his Grace now?
  4. Will Crowley regret pushing Dean into demonhood? What if Dean takes control of Hell? He is an overachiever after all.
  5. Will God ever step back in to take control of Heaven? After all they are once again without a leader which means yet another war for power.

October can’t come quick enough.