Game of Thrones: The Watchers on the Wall. You know nothing.

We are quickly approaching the season finale so we know we’re going to see a good bit of action between this episode and the next. This episode starts out with Jon and Sam talking on the top of the Wall about love and loss and death.  Sam gets Jon to talk about Ygritte and Sam admits to his desire to have sex with Gilly and pretty much says the only thing stopping him is the fact she didn’t offer.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Sam probably wanted to have sex with Gilly the whole time he was helping her, but he never would have admitted that.  In fact in the books she comes on to him pretty strong (after this time) and he turns her down repeatedly because of his vows.  Sam says that he’s a coward, but he is one of the strongest willed people on the Wall.  He sees things in right and wrong even if his idea of what is right isn’t exactly what others would agree with.  Also Jon probably wouldn’t have talked so freely about Ygritte.  He does love her and dreams of being able to truly be with her, but is ashamed of his actions with her even though The Halfhand ordered him to do whatever it took to blend in.

Moving on to Ygritte we get to hear Tormund Giantsbane tell part of his story about sleeping with a bear. Tormund is one of my favorite characters in the books and I’m sad we didn’t get to hear the whole story.  Ygritte however interrupts him and fights with the cannibal Wildlings. More specifically the leader of the Thenns.

What the Watchlings don’t know

The Thenns in the books weren’t cannibals and although they were scary dudes they weren’t creepy like these guys.  I’m guessing that the Thenns are being used to combine all the bad things about the Wildlings and to take the place of a character named Rattleshirt.  I’m not horribly upset with this change though.  I can see the sense in consolidating.

Here is that story from Tormund since it was cut short on the show:

I was in me Ruddy Hall, with only a cask o’ mead to keep me company and nothing to do but drink it. The more I drank, the more I got thinking about this woman lived close by, a fine strong woman with the biggest pair of teats you ever saw. She had a temper on her that one, but oh, she could we warm too, and in the deep of winter a man needs his warmth.

“The more I drank, the more I thought about her, and the more I thought the harder me member got, till I couldn’t suffer it no more. Fool that I was I bundled meself up in furs from head to heels, wrapped a winding wool around me face, and set off to find her. The snow was coming down so hard I got turned around once or twice, and the wind blew right through me and froze me bones, but finally I come on her, all bundled up like I was.

“The woman had a terrible temper, and she put up quite the fight when I laid hands on her. It was all I could do to carry her home and get her out o’ them furs, but when I did, oh, she was hotter than even I remembered, and we had a fine old time, and then I went to sleep. Next morning when I woke the snow had stopped and the sun was shining, but I was in no fit state to enjoy it. All ripped and torn I was, and had me member bit right off, and there on me floor was a she-bear’s pelt. And soon enough the free folk were telling tales of this bald bear seen in the woods, with the queerest pair o’ cubs behind her. Har!” He slapped his meaty thigh. “Would that I could find her again. She was fine to lay with, that bear. Never was a woman give me such a fight, nor such strong sons neither.”

There is the theory that the “bear” he slept with was a Mormont woman, perhaps Lord Mormont’s sister. I don’t know that I buy that, but that would make for an interesting twist!

Image

Swap back to Sam still talking about sex. Seriously Sam I don’ t think you’re supposed to tell everyone about how you want to break your vows? OK we get it you think Gilly in all her incestuous glory is hot. But wait! I bet all of you Watchlings had forgotten about Maester Aemon told Jon Snow that before he became a Maester he was Aemon Targaryen. Don’t worry they are reinforcing that again for you.

And then all of a sudden Gilly shows up with the baby and Sam suddenly gets his courage. . .right before the Wildlings show up.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Once again Sam felt strongly about Gilly, but he didn’t flagrantly flaunt any desires to break his vows or “go with her wherever she goes.” I’m guessing they are setting up this storyline to help you out a little later with some stuff that happens. . .and stuff.  But unless they speed that part of the plot along it’ll be a while before anything develops on that front.

So Maester Aemon once again brings up his heritage, probably just to remind everyone that had forgotten it since it was first told a few seasons ago.  This is important though because The Red Woman is on the hunt for King’s blood to do spells with and Aemon comes from kings.  Also it’s important because eventually even Maester Aemon will hear about Dany and her dragons.

Enter the beginning of the Wildling battle. Now I’m not one for epic battle scenes, but the show does this really well.  It was very much reminiscent of The Battle of Helms Deep.  All we needed was an elf and a dwarf competing over the number of kills and it could have been straight from The Lord of the Rings. I’m not going to break down every bit of this battle so I’ll just hit the highlights as they come about.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Janos Slynt is being used to manipulate the Wall from King’s Landing– not very well, but that’s one of the reasons he is such an ass to Jon Snow. Janos is really a horrible human being even more so than the show makes him seem. This episode showed Ser Alliser pretty much tell Jon that the was right, but he didn’t care that he was right. Yeah him and Janos get along well.  That’s all.

Also Sam is getting braver, but not quite so brave as it looks here.  I do love that they have Sam encouraging all the brothers.  He’s the last person you’d think would lend courage to others. Finally the giants should be important later on. Know that most people thought giants extinct too so just the sight of giants attacking was disconcerting for the Black Brothers.

 

Continued death and destruction from the Wildlings– all the blood and guts you could desire. Scary giants, scary mammoths, scary Wildlings. Many people die and it’s hard to keep track of all the deaths, but 0f course there is just one death that they want to you be sure to have emotional damage about. Ygritte.

“Jon Snow, is this a proper castle now? Not just a tower?”“It is.” Jon took her hand.“Good,” she whispered. “I wanted t’ see one proper castle, before … before I …”“You’ll see hundred castles. The battle’s done. Maester Aemon will see to you. You’re kissed by fire, remember? Lucky. It will take more than an arrow to kill you. Aemon will draw it out and patch you up, and we’ll get milk of the poppy for the pain.”She just smiled at that. “D’you remember that cave? We should have stayed in that cave. I told you so.”“We’ll go back to the cave,” he said.” You’re not going to die, Ygritte. You’re not.”“Oh.” Ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she sighed, dying.”

“Jon Snow, is this a proper castle now? Not just a tower?”“It is.” Jon took her hand.“Good,” she whispered. “I wanted t’ see one proper castle, before … before I …”“You’ll see hundred castles. The battle’s done. Maester Aemon will see to you. You’re kissed by fire, remember? Lucky. It will take more than an arrow to kill you. Aemon will draw it out and patch you up, and we’ll get milk of the poppy for the pain.”She just smiled at that. “D’you remember that cave? We should have stayed in that cave. I told you so.”“We’ll go back to the cave,” he said.” You’re not going to die, Ygritte. You’re not.”“Oh.” Ygritte cupped his cheek with her hand. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she sighed, dying.”

What the Watchlings don’t know

Jon didn’t see Ygritte die exactly like this.  He found her after the battle with an arrow through her and then worried/dreamed that he had been the one that had killed her during the battle and didn’t realize it. She did die in his arms, but it wasn’t quite so poignant as this scene.  This is one time I will say that I prefer how it was changed to how it was written.  There was closure here.  Jon saw her, felt relief at her presence even if she did look like she was about to kill him, and then got to say goodbye after she was shot. It was nice to have a good end to this love story. And by good I mean heartbreaking end, but I think everyone knew how that would end.

Sam and Jon are walking around and leading the clean up from the battle.  Then Jon announces his intentions to go and treat with Mance Rayder and try to put an end to this without more loss of life. I want to know where Ghost is? He was let out so why is he not at Jon’s side.  I would think Jon would want him by his side during this interaction with Mance.

Last comment from the episode is that the variations on the theme song were amazing.  It was dark and pulled at one’s emotions just by hearing that familiar, yet different, line of music.  Beautiful.

What the Watchlings don’t know

Ser Alliser and Janos Slynt were not present during this battle, but showed up after it was done to talk about what should have happened.  They then forced Jon Snow to go out and meet with Mance Rayder fulling assuming that Mance would kill Jon for his betrayal.  That’s the way it appears to be going until. . . something happens that I’m assuming we’ll see next week.

I love that Jon is a strong character and seems to be in control, but also miss that level of desperation that Jon felt being sent to his most certain death.

Next week will be so very very eventful.  We have a wedding to plan, a wife to kill and Guilder to frame for it.  Or maybe a peace to negotiate, a dwarf to kill and a whore to blame for it.

Boob count: 0 (! Really HBO? I’m surprised you didn’t throw in a female giant’s boob)

Major Character Death: 1 (Ygritte)

Game of Thrones: The Mountain and the Viper aka “Hello. My name is Oberyn Martell. You killed my sister, prepare to die.”

oberyn

We start this episode out in Mole’s Town which I can’t help but think this is a place that must be hard to keep track of for all those Watchlings out there.  So just in case– it’s the town right outside of the wall that mostly consists of a whorehouse there to service the Sworn Brothers– you know the ones that swore to not have sex.  Yeah those guys.

Well the Wildlings bust in and murder a ton of people, but Ygritte spares Gilly and the babe.  Then we see Sam and the posse discussing if Gilly could have survived and what they should do about the Wildlings in general.  They mostly all decide they are screwed.

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

This is just a big set up for next week and to show that Ygritte is a good person. No– you’ll get the pay off for these scenes at the Wall soon enough.

Switch to Grey Worm checking out Missandei and looking like he’s sexually frustrated.  Then Dany and her discussing how much was cut off when they became eunuchs. Grey Worm later apologizes while at the same time kind of declaring his love for her. He somehow also took a huge step forward in his mastery of The Common Tongue.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

So Dany actually got a lot of details about the castration process when she bought the Unsullied. They have everything (Penis and Testicles) chopped off very early on so that they will never have any sexual desire to distract them from their duties. So I don’t really buy that Grey Worm is sexually attracted to anyone, but I would buy that he is lonely and wants love.  For those of you that don’t know, the boys that become Unsullied are taken at around the age of 5, trained, then cut, and on the day they are cut they are given a puppy.  After 1 year they are made to kill the puppy– those that don’t are killed and fed to dogs.  Then when they earn their title of Unsullied they have done so by going out into the marketplace, ripping a child from it’s mother’s breast and killing it in front of her.  He then gives the owner of the woman a coin to pay for the baby.  Yeah, so it’s pretty hardcore and I could see how someone like this could use some love.

Lets move on to Theon (Reek) and The Bastard. The Bastard is continuing his campaign of torment over Theon and uses him to manipulate the Ironmen left at Moat Cailin. Theon gets them to surrender and then The Bastard flayed them all. The Bastard of Bolton really is one of the most despicable characters in this series.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You mostly know it all. The only thing you’re missing is that extent that The Bastard has gone through to brainwash Theon.  He thinks everything might be a trap created by the Bastard in order to inflict more pain on him.  Other than that– this scene is all that it seems.

OK now here we go.  The episode before this ended with Littlefinger throwing Lysa out the Moondoor. I stated before that in the books there was conveniently a singer hanging about that took the fall for Lysa’s murder, but since he wasn’t there I wondered how they would explain away this issue. Littlefinger appears cornered. He’s being grilled by the Lords of the Vale and looks to be losing this game.  Then they announce they want to interview “Alayne.” In comes Sansa looking very fragile and saying she must tell the truth.

Well evidently little Sansa has learned to play the game.  She tells everyone who she is really and that Littlefinger had saved her life.  She also gives an explanation for Lysa’s suicide.  At the end of this fantastic tale she exchanges a sly smile with Littlefinger.

Wow is all I gotta say about this.  I wonder how they will proceed with this storyline since this episode took a little bit of a turn from the books.

Littlefinger lays the groundwork to travel with Robyn– perhaps see that he gets killed somewhere– or just to see if he can actually grow up.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Sansa is still not known as herself, but is under the disguise of Alayne Stone– the bastard daughter of Littlefinger– in the books.  Also Sansa is not this cunning in the books either.  She’s still an idiot and doesn’t realize that she’s being manipulated at every turn.  Just throw her some lemon cakes and she’s good to go.  No words can describe my disdain for this character.

 

Meanwhile back in Mereen we see Barristan Selmy receive a mysterious message that turns out to be a pardon from Robert that somehow got lost in the mail (really– USPS is getting slower and slower these days. They should have sent it UPS). Seriously though it’s obviously a set up and conveniently just showed up. Dany sees this as a horrible betrayal and banishes him.  This is plainly the only choice she had so she didn’t appear weak.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Selmy was on the Small Council so he knew that Jorah was spying on her this whole time.  He’s also the one that spills the beans to Dany to turn her against Jorah.  To be fair he didn’t trust Jorah and was trying to look out for her.

Now we get to see two weirdos be super creepy together.  AKA Roose Bolton legitimizes his bastard son and places him over any future children he might have. He probably knows that Ramsey will most likely murder any future children anyway, because that’s how he does things.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Both these dude are waaaaaay messed up.  Hmmmm. . .you may have already figured that out.  Well how about Roose like to be leeched daily. Yeah cause that’s not weird.

mockingjay

Sansa now reveals why she lied to protect Littlefinger.  At least the show made this make sense. She protected him because she knows that if he’s gone she might be in a worse situation than she was in King’s Landing. OK I buy that. I’m going to skip ahead and cover the scene with Littlefinger and Robert  Robyn. Littlefinger is obviously plotting something.  He’s now setting up the boy to go on a journey with him and Sansa and we’ll have to see where this is going to take us.  I’d watch out if I was Robyn though.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

She looks so strong and smart now. Believe me in the books she’s still an idiot.  Always an idiot. Oh, and an idiot that never thinks about Arya and what possibly has happened to her.  Every now and then she feels mildly sad that the rest of her family is dead, but mostly just sad if she runs short of lemon cakes. Robyn (aka Robert) develops an unhealthy attachment to Sansa and feels the need to sleep with her every night.  GRRM also goes into great detail about how he pushes up against her boobs to go to sleep and then pees the bed. Yeah this storyline is mostly messed up.

Now Arya and The Hound have reached the Vale and have a super hilarious scene where Arya laughs joyfully when she finds out that her Aunt Lysa is dead. Really it’s just their luck that they would make this huge journey just to hit a dead end.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Arya and The Hound never made it to The Vale in the books.  In fact they should be parting ways soon and I’m interested to see if the show decides to break up this dream team.  They have to eventually right?  Maybe this is season finale material? Arya’s storyline just gets better and better though.

Of course they’ve saved for the last the story we’ve been dying to watch.  Jaime and Tyrion have a heartfelt chat about how Tyrion is going to die and how they don’t have much hope of victory. They also share a touching story about a mentally handicapped relative of theirs that liked to smash beetles and how Tyrion tried to figure out why this child wanted to smash the beetles. This lovely story ended with the cousin getting killed by a mule.  The moral of the story being that life and death have no point.

And in that moment, I swear we were all Ellaria Sand.

Seriously she’s an amazing actress in these scenes.

Cut to Tyrion being led out to his trial.  Tyrion questions Oberyn’s lack of armor and a helmet (hehe) and Oberyn brushes his concerns off.  Which I have to admit when you watch his fighting styles it’s obvious that he does much better unencumbered. Here’s where it gets good. Oberyn takes the field all cocky and promises not to die and leave his paramour alone.

Oberyn does an amazing impression of Inigo Montoya by repeating, “You raped her, you murdered her, you killed her children.” over and over while attacking The Mountain. This chant seems to do what it was intended  as he repeatedly stabs his adversary and appears to have dealt the winning blows.

But wait, this is A Game of Thrones— just as it appears he’s won The Mountain grabs him, admits his murder and rape and then smashes his head like watermelon.  Yep.  That’s the end of the Viper.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Nothing really from the brotherly aspect. Jaime and Tyrion really do love each other and Jaime is realizing Tyrion is the better of his siblings. Tyrion doesn’t have much hope for a positive outcome, yet his hopes are raised throughout the battle. . .until they aren’t.

Never fear though!  The Viper is not done with The Mountain.  How you ask?  You saw his head popped like a really disgusting pimple right? Well, yes, but he may have performed some treachery before his death.  I won’t spoil that for you though.  I’m sure we’ll find out in about 2 weeks.

 

Up next week it appears to be the battle for the Wall– believe me all will not go as planned.

Major Character Deaths: One– Oberyn Martell

Boob Count: 8 pairs I think? There were a lot of background boobs.

 

Game of Thrones: Oathkeeper. When the readers became shocked and confused.

brienne

This episode started out with Daenerys capturing Mereen in a slightly downplayed manner.  Yeah it was just as boring in the books.  I would like to say that I love Dany, but from here on out in the books I found her story tedious to say the least.  So since we’ve seen them add dimensions to the story lines maybe they will do the same for Dany– or at least speed this process up. Cathy (my blogging partner on these posts) was somewhat disappointed that we didn’t get to see any form of fighting when Daenerys takes over Maureen. I mean, not even a tiny bit. She has unsullied, dragons, Daario…we could have seen just a few people get stabbed or something. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to blame shooting schedule or budget or something. Point is, Daenerys now controls Maureen.

The scene with Grey Worm was nice though.  I really like the actor they picked for him and he brings life to the Unsullied.  Out of all the mistreated characters in the books I always felt sorry for the Unsullied.  For those not in the know, the Unsullied were taken young and taught to fight from a young age.  Some of the things they had to do was raise a puppy then kill it with their own hands, and take a baby from a mother and kill it.  Yeah, you know, nothing that would scar you for life.

She also doled out justice to the Mereen masters and as much as I love Barristan the Bold I side with Dany on the type of justice that was given.

Maybe they can also confirm this aunt/nephew relationship since they spilled the beans on so many other things this episode.  Jon Snow is Rheagar’s son.  It is known.

Cut to Bronn training with Jamie .  I really like Bronn.  In the books he’s very much a secondary character and I like that they combined him with some other characters to make him more memorable on the show.  Bronn laid out some truths that Jamie needed to hear.  Jamie’s and Tyrion’s relationship is one of my favorites.  As much as Cersei hates Tyrion Jamie loves him.  Jamie has been pretty much the only person that Tyrion has always been able to count on.

Which led to this touching scene.  And I’m being serious about that.  This episode showed many times the man that Jamie has become since being released from Catelyn Stark. I really really wish they’d left the “rape” out of last week’s episode.  That is not who Jamie really is.

Tyrion is such a great guy– which makes me believe even more that he’s not really a Lannister.

Next up we see Littlefinger being Littlefinger.  Gah he is such a sleaze. He’s going to marry Lysa aka– trying to figure out how to get in Sansa’s skirts.  He does shed some light on Joffery’s death though and confirms what even the books haven’t confirmed yet.  He had a hand in the murder, but was helping out someone else.  Some one powerful.  Low and behold:

Whaaat??  Once again this is something that I’d suspected/known-ish for a while, but the books hadn’t out and out confirmed it yet. We set up that whole “Clue” post last week thinking that it was going to take a while for the true killer to be revealed and, nope.  You gotta love the Queen of Thorns.  She’s more honorable and more cunning than any Lannister.  And evidently also a ho from her other story that she told Margaery during this stroll.

Meanwhile up on the Wall people are conspiring to do bad things to Jon Snow– between the people that just don’t like him and Locke who is trying to find out where Bran and Rikkon are Jon has danger on all sides, but doesn’t know it yet.  Jon is pretty smart though so I don’t fear too much for him right now.

We also had a scene between Jamie and Cersei showing her for the drunk bitch that she is.  Seriously– WHY did they have Jamie rape her last week??  He is trying to become honorable again and she is on a path in the opposite direction.  Out of all the Lannisters Cersei is the most crazy.  Perhaps it would have been different if her mother had lived and she hadn’t looked up to her father her whole life.

Margaery taking a page from her grandmother’s book visits Tommen at night, which could have been super creepy and gross, but instead showed off her amazing manipulation skills.  She shows Tommen kindness and nurtures his sweet nature.  Way to go Margaery.

In the books Tommen is pretty young.  Younger than he is here, so in this instance I’m really glad they deviated from the books.  I would be super creeped out if he was the kid that he should have been.

Now we come to the good parts.  Jamie and Brienne. Brienne is obviously in love with Jamie, but what they don’t touch on in the show is that Jamie has some not so pure thoughts/feelings about Brienne.  I won’t say he loves her or anything, but she’s definitely helped him to become the better man that he’s turning into. I think both Catelyn Stark and Brienne have reminded Jamie of what it was like when he had honor and he wants to live like that again.  Jamie has had to make so many hard choices in life and I think he wants to choose what is right from now on.

Plus we get to see Pod and Brienne set off together.  This upcoming story line is great. It’s humorous and touching and everything you could hope for.

Love. It.

Now we get our obligatory boob scene and get to see how the mutineers are faring at Caster’s keep.  We also find out that Ghost is being held captive.  Now I don’t remember any of this in the books, but it could be that I’m forgetting something.  I know Ghost was separated from him for a while, but I don’t see him allowing himself to be captured.  Ghost is more of a “rip your throat out” kind of wolf.  This is where the show is deviating pretty strongly from the books, but as we know from this documentary GRRM is overseeing a lot of the show so he has to approve right?

After Summer gets hurt everyone goes on the worst creeping mission ever.  I’m disappointed in Meera– after all she’s supposed to know all about the woods and then goes stomping out not looking where she’s going.  Also lets talk about Jojen.

Cathy says it best:

You know what I don’t understand? Theoretical physics. Know what else I don’t understand? Why Jojen was sweating like it was August in south Texas, when it was -30 out. Yeah, I know he was getting ready to have a green dream, but seriously, why all the sweat? He looked like he was a part of a bad outbreak movie.

Yes!  And NO ONE noticed!  Everyone is going on like normal until he collapses foaming at the mouth.  Come on guys– you weren’t wondering why he was pouring sweat in the snow? We are now to assume that Jon will save Bran and the others when he raids Craster’s Keep, but that is a total deviation from the books.  Yes Sam knew that Bran was alive, but he didn’t tell Jon.  Coldhands (who we haven’t met yet– even though we should have already) made him swear to keep it a secret.

OK now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way let me talk about what the show added that I was confused about while watching the episode, but now am cool with.  We got to see The Others take Craster’s son and turn him into one of them.  At first I thought– “what the crap!? Why did that add all of that?” but the more I thought about it and after a little research (and a friend talking over all of this with me) I realized a few things.

In the books the Others are called “Craster’s Sons” by Craster’s wives, but I always just thought of that as a figure of speech since he gave them up to the Others.  I had assumed they ate the babies or the babies just froze to death. However when you go back and reread some of the passages and pair it with what we saw last night then it appears that this is all Craster’s fault.  HE has been supplying new White Walkers for this huge army of Walkers.

Gilly was crying. “Me and the babe. Please. I’ll be your wife, like I was Craster’s.

Please, ser crow. He’s a boy, just like Nella said he’d be. If you don’t take him, they will.”

 “They?” said Sam, and the raven cocked its black head and echoed, “They. They. They.”

 “The boy’s brothers,” said the old woman on the left.

“Craster’s sons. The white cold’s rising out there, crow. I can feel it in my bones.

These poor old bones don’t lie. They’ll be here soon, the sons.”

Before I had seen this as just superstitious talk of scared Wildlings.  Yes we know there are really White Walkers, but they haven’t been seen for so long that the Wildlings have just made things up about them, or remembered incompletely.  However, after watching this segment of the Walkers turning the babe into one of their own so it will obviously still grow and change in it’s new state, George was telling us all along where the evil was coming from.

So I’m going to throw out a couple of theories and one of them will include a HUGE HUGE book five spoiler, so don’t continue unless you are up to date on the books.

1. Maybe Coldhands is Benjen Stark.  I hadn’t ever thought so, but thought he was an older Stark.  But what if they had tried to make him a Walker (not a wight like the other dead zombie like creatures) and he had been able to slow/stop the process so that now he isn’t human yet isn’t a mindless evil thing.  I’m not stuck on this theory, but I’m interested to see Coldhands whenever he shows up (hopefully they don’t cut him out of the show).

2. When Jon Snow is laying stabbed and dying at the end of the 5th book he begins to feel the cold.  So maybe it’s not his death that he feels coming, but the Others coming to attack the wall and the attack would then distract his attackers and allow the Red Woman (or someone else) to save Jon’s life.  I kinda think he dies all the way here though and the Red Woman brings him back and therefore he’s fulfilled his oath to the Night’s Watch, but these are all just theories.  I can go on and on about my Jon Snow theories.

What did you think?  What are your predictions for next week?  Why the #(@*#! did the previews for next week show Arya stabbing The Hound in the stomach with Needle??

See you next week!

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pair

The GREATEST “A Song of Ice and Fire” Thread Ever.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about ASoIaF, but have you ever been part of a conversation that just needed to be shared with the world?

WARNING! THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ ALL THE BOOKS.

Previously I posted this about some of my theories:

Capture

 

I have since expanded that theory to say that Jon Snow not only was calling out to Ghost, Wun Wun, the boar, but also to his dragon.  Because Viserion is totally his dragon.  And I’m really serious about the kitten thing.  Princess Rhaenys has to be super crazy by now, but how awesome would it be if she figured out how to warg back into a human?  If only she had warged into Cercei before her fall.  Then a Targaryen would have been pretty much ruling Westeros again and that would have been awesome.

My oldest brother finished the 5th book yesterday (he was late to the game, but he’s all important doing smart stuff so I guess I’ll let it slide) and he posted this today which led to the best thread ever.

AsoIaF 1

 

 

OK it starts out pretty tame– I think everyone agrees that he’s Lyann’s and Rhaegar’s son (if you don’t please post who you think is and why.  I would seriously love to know).  Let’s continue:

ASoIaF 2

 

 

I pretty much agree with everything Patrick is saying here except for the Bran riding a dragon part.  I see him living out his life growing into a tree watching through the eyes of crows and weirwoods.  I’m also going to be seriously disappointed if Jon Snow ends up being someone totally normal.  And then there is “There must always be a Stork at Waterfall.” Yes.

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If Rickon shows back up in the fashion that Daniel suggests that would just be. . .amazingly wonderful.

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Patrick hits some good points again although I think Tyrion has a better likelihood of being a Targaryen then Jamie and Cercei.  One think I hadn’t thought about was what if Arya gets one of the dragons? She’s definitely a strong person and is learning all kinds of magic-y stuff.

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Soooo many subplots going on– I need to reread once again to remember them all and perhaps imagine even more theories.  I do love this thought of if you could pick a castle/area which one would it be (don’t worry I’m sure Buzzfeed is creating a quiz as we speak.  There already is one if you count this one)

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Seriously Patrick– we have never met, but agree on so much. Robert so should have been shoved out the moon door with his crazy mother.

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Don’t worry, there are even more puns to come.

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Yes, yes I would take Sunspear.

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I told you the puns just kept coming.  My brothers have a very sharp wit.  Also I should explain: watchlings = people who only watch the series and haven’t read the books.

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Who do you think Coldhands is?  As soon as I make up my mind something comes along to change it again. Follow up: Do you think Benjen is dead?

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Any conspiracy theories about the obsidian?

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There was even more to this thread, but I’m going to stop here.  Do you think Eddard was/could have been a warg too?  Or was this just something the kids had?  I think he probably just didn’t know he could, because not only do all of Ned’s children have this ability, but so does Jon Snow.  If I’m right about Lyanna and Rhaegar and also right about how dragon’s are controlled then that would explain how powerful a warg Jon Snow is.  Jonathan pointed out the obvious hole in my theory: the dragon horn.  If dragons are controlled by wargs then why is there a dragon horn.

My answer?

Option 1.  The horn is just a magical device used for someone who doesn’t have the warging ability, but needs to control a dragon (like dragonfyre when you don’t have a dragon).  This method really sucks for whoever they make blow the horn though.

Option 2. It doesn’t really work. It’s a cursed object that people want to possess and ends up killing them.

I lean towards option 1.

Also there’s always this explanation:

Weigh in if you have a theory you want to share or if you disagree with something that we’ve thrown out.

 

 

Why Game of Thrones should have had 2 more Episodes

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Last week’s episode “The Rains of Castamere” was amazing.  You know when you read a book and then watch the movie and are so disappointed  in the results?  Yeah this was the opposite.  HBO did an amazing job bringing the Red Wedding to life.  Don’t get me wrong even though I knew what was coming it was still painful to watch, but painful in that, “holy crap I can’t believe this is harder to watch than it was to read” kind of way.  I really felt for everyone that was surprised by the wedding results, but I also was glad they were finally filling the deep sadness I had felt when I had initially read that scene.  

Jump to this week and the season finale.  (Some spoilers from this point on if you haven’t watched yet). Continue reading