Game of Thrones: The Gift. Life after Sansa’s Wedding Night.

Everyone was in an uproar after last week’s episode that showed Sansa’s wedding night so thankfully no one else gets married this week, but we do get to hear Dany plan her own up coming nuptials.  That should be a fun time too right?

So this season we’ve had a lot of misdirection with the episode names (Kill the Boy, Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken, etc) and this one has a few meanings as well. On one hand we have Jorah taking his gift to his queen, we have Dany giving the gift of the fighting pits to her people, and lastly in the books Jon offered “The Gift” or an area of land between the wall and Winterfell to the Wildlings who wanted to come over and down. They would have to answer to Winterfell and the Seven Kingdoms, but they wouldn’t have to worry about White Walkers. So although all the Watchlings out there probably assume this title is talking about Jorah giving over Tyrion, it’s totally derived from that 5 minutes you see Jon and try to remember what he’s doing right now.

The Wall

Speaking of Jon we see him saying his goodbyes so he can go off and try to talk the rest of the Wildlings into either settling in the Gift or populating the abandoned castles along the wall to try to fight against the White Walkers. The Wildlings aren’t all crazy about this idea and neither are the men of the Night’s Watch. It’s very important you remember that they are super unimpressed by that and think Jon a traitor for what he’s doing. It plays a big role in things to come.

We also see Maester Aemon playing with Gilly’s baby and confusingly talking about his baby brother Egg (who later became King). You can tell Sam in worried about Aemon and it looks to be his last days. This is yet another departure from the books. In the books Jon send Maester Aemon and Sam off to the Citadel with their stories of White Walkers (and for Sam to become a maester to replace Aemon) and switches Gilly’s baby with Mance Rayder’s kid. Gilly takes this other baby off to safety with Sam and Aemon and Sam plans on telling his parents that her baby is his bastard. Gilly is heartbroken to leave her child, but eventually bonds with the other baby and the eventually bonds with Sam numerous times as well. Aemon does die in the books, but he does so on the journey while in Braavos (where Arya kills one of the men from the Night’s Watch for abandoning Sam). Sam thinks he died because the Wall and the cold were keeping him alive.

“He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch is ended.”

So instead of taking an epic journey Aemon just dies (in the books he is super upset that he died before reaching Dany. He heard about her during the journey and he wants to tell her things about her family– I think he wants to tell her how to control her dragons). Sam and Gilly just have sex (in the most realistic sex scene yet in the series) and Ghost for some reason isn’t with Jon (but he saves Sam’s life which is awesome).

Sansa

Sansa had a rough week to say the least. Last week we saw her wedding night raping and evidently the fun hasn’t stopped for her. She’s being kept a prisoner with no contact with anyone besides Theon. In an act of desperation she gets Theon’s help signalling that old woman that offered her help before. The thing she doesn’t know is that Theon is 100% scared of Ramsey and instead of going and lighting a candle like Sansa asked he went straight to the Bastard and told on her. Which didn’t go quite so well for the old lady.

Sansa and Ramsey walk around the castle discussing their future– or really just discussing Ramsey’s future as the Lord of Winterfell. I have to admire Sansa’s guts at pointing out the obvious, but she’s crazy. You don’t call Ramsey Snow Bolton a bastard to his face. She’s given him something to think about though even if she’ll definitely pay for it later. (She did manage to grab a weapon for later on this walk about– but will she be able to use it?)

Ramsey: Call me Bastard one more time!

Seriously though– I’m pretty sure she just guaranteed a pregnant woman’s death. Do you think the Frey’s will be cool with it when it’s one of their own?

Sansa: Yeah, about him. . .I didn’t like him either.

After viewing Ramsey’s work on the old lady help I think Sansa is finally realizing what kind of person she married. As much as I cannot stand Sansa in the books and wish that she’d been killed off in place of any of the other Starks, I have to say she’s much more in control of herself on the show than in the books. In the books she’s just concerned with what is happening to her and where her next lemoncake is coming from. Of course she’s also not married to Ramsey so she has that going for her.

Stannis

Stannis is stuck in the snow trying to march on Winterfell and losing people by the day. Either deserting or dying from lack of heat and food. He’s losing before he’s even started and he can’t go back to the Wall because he will just be stuck there. Defeated. Melisandre states that she knows how to take Winterfell and that all they need to do is sacrifice someone with King’s blood. Which just happens to be his daughter who she wants to burn alive. Yeah totes sounds like good idea. I love Stannis for not only rejecting this idea but sending the Red Woman away after she suggests it. It truly is a despicable plan (and not at all in the books).

In the books she’s wanting to burn Mance’s baby which is why Jon sends the baby away from the wall. Melisandre really is a horrible person, but she might play a role in helping Jon with all those people that think he’s a traitor now so I don’t wish her dead. Yet.

Jorah

Jorah and Tyrion manage to get sold together (after some quick action on Tyrion’s part) and are headed to the fighting pit of Mereen (you know the pits that Dany just opened back up under the condition that no slaves would be used. . .yeah about that).

In the books Tyrion actually saves Jorah here. Jorah is in a somewhat in a catatonic state at this point and Tyrion is being sold with another dwarf  Penny. (Be super glad they cut the whole Penny and her dog and pig show out of the series). He says that Jorah plays the bear in the act and all good acts must have a bear. They also don’t get sold into the fighting pits, but Tyrion ends up there later on and gets saved at the last minute by Dany (it’s more complicated then that, but pretty much that’s what happens).

We see Dany getting some lovin’ time with her man Daario who she claims she cannot marry because she has to marry the Master from Mereen for political purposes. Let me say though that Daario has the right idea about killing all the masters and showing people what’s up. If she did marry Daario they would make a pretty BA team. She has become too careful (and gotten a rather odd wig too).

Now we have come to a meeting between Jorah and his queen. In a scene copied from Gladiator they are all fighting in front of the queen and Jorah realizes it and runs out to fight too. I’m pretty sure Russell Crowe was in the group of fighters, but Jorah manages to kill them all. Dany is shocked and appalled by this sight and obviously is having second doubts about opening the fighting pits again (as she should). Jorah reveals himself to her at the end and before she can have him removed he tells her he has a gift for her. On cue Tyrion runs out and announces he is the gift. When asked he proclaims himself Tyrion Lannister. Oh you know just the son  of the man that ordered the slaughter of your family. She seems to take it like you’d expect.

Queen of Thorns

The Queen of Thorns and the High Sparrow have words together. He seems to genuinely like her and spars verbally with her for a while. She can’t figure him out though and doesn’t exactly win this exchange. This of course frustrates her and she is obviously trying to figure out a way to bring down the High Sparrow.

She meets with Petyr who tempts her with a deal to take down the Lannisters. He’s playing all sides to make sure that he has an agreement with the winning party. . .no matter who that is.

Cersei

Well, well, well. She’s still oblivious as to what is going on with the church and thinks everything is going her way. After Tommen threatens to go talk to the High Sparrow to get his wife freed Cersei steps in tells Tommen that she’ll go on his behalf to try to get her freedom.

She does visit the High Sparrow and Margeary as well. She’s super smug about what’s going on with Margeary and obviously thinks that everything is going her way. Well that is until she starts talking to the High Sparrow. He tells her about how Lancel came to them broken and slowly unburdened himself to the church. He told them about the horrible things that he did with Cersei and that gives them grounds to arrest her as well. Yeah she tries the same reasoning that Margeary did and it gets her just as far.

In the books Cersei’s plan to get rid of Tommen’s bride is much more complicated and it looks like she has framed Margeary successfully until the men she had swear that they had sex with Margeary were tortured until they admitted they were lying. I do hope they keep the punishment the same in the show as in the books though. Let’s just say that it’s very very satisfying. Plus boobs.

Dorne

Back in Dorne Myrcella doesn’t want to leave because she loves her betrothed and wants to marry him. Jamie doesn’t quite know how to handle her. Bronn mocks and taunts the Sand Snakes in their cell which is amusing until one of them feels the need to make sure we see some breasts this episode. It’s totally unnecessary and ridiculous. All of you people that were up in arms last week about Sansa should be kicking up a fuss about the show’s use of naked women to keep viewer’s interest. I don’t need to see someone naked every five minutes to keep my attention. Bronn of course was poisoned by his cut and after boobs were seen he receives the antidote. Because boobs. I don’t know this whole scene is confusing. But there are boobs so I guess we’re not supposed to question it.

On the bright side– no rapes this week!  Plus Cersei is getting a taste of her own medicine so it’s almost a cheerful episode even if we did lose a main character.

Game of Thrones: Mockingbird. You are the Wind Beneath My Wings.

This episode contained a ton of set up.  This is one of those episodes that I have trouble judging how Watchlings would receive it.  As I am watching I’m getting super excited about all that is about to happen which makes me wonder if all the Watchlings out there are bored or confused.

Jamie and Tyrion

We start out with Jamie and Tyrion arguing about Tyrion’s speech at the end of his trial.  Jamie sees it as idiotic and Tyrion sees it as his only option to fight back.  For all Jamie’s desire to have Tyrion shipped off to the Night’s Watch I wonder what his actions would have been in a similar situation.  Tyrion makes very valid points to Jamie.  Jamie was playing right into Tywin’s hands.  He would have gotten rid of his embarrassment of son and gained his heir back to the place he wanted.

Tyrion’s pleas to get Jamie to fight for him are heartbreaking.  Tyrion loves his brother and I do believe Jamie loves Tyrion, but Jamie also knows that he can’t beat the Mountain and I think Jamie feels powerless against his father and sister.

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Jamie knows all to well about Tyrion falling in love with a whore. Tyrion married a girl when he was very young that he loved very much and said that she loved him.  They lived together for a time and then Tywin told Tyrion that Jamie had hired the girl to have sex with Tyrion and then it had gotten out of control. Tywin took the girl and gave her to all his soldiers and then had Tyrion “service” her in front of everyone else.  This has haunted Tyrion since that time and if the show follows the books Jamie is about to drop a revelation about this young girl very soon.

Cersei and The Mountain:

Cut to a huge guy disemboweling some people evidently for fun and Cersei watching.  I’m not real sure where these people have come from.  Do they keep people around just for him to slice up?  That seems like a healthy past time.  This scene mostly is just to set up that The Mountain is The Wu Tang Clan, Dr. Dre and Tupac all rolled into one huge scary person.

Image

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Are you aware that Cersei is a heartless conniving bitch? OK good.  How about that The Mountain is a psychopath and has killed more people than I can count?  OK good.  So you got this.

The Hound and Arya:

Ahhh, my favorite homicidal travelers.  Arya and The Hound have left quite a bit of death and destruction in their wake and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. The scene opens up with them riding up to a scene of mayhem and death.  There is one person left, slowly dying from a wound to the stomach.  The three of them talk about life, death and the everafter for a while. Then the conversation comes to an abrupt end when The Hound shoves a knife under the mans ribs into his heart.  This was a mercy kill so the man didn’t have to slowly die a painful death there on the road.  The Hound looks meaningfully at Arya and says “That’s where the heart is. That’s how you kill a man.” Then suddenly there is someone biting into The Hound’s neck and trying to kill him to which the Hound responds by quickly snapping the neck of his attacker. I would like to say that is also how you kill a man.

Since the one dude bit a chunk out of The Hound’s neck I’m assuming he’s Rorge’s counterpart Biter.  Biter was supposed to be killed by Gendry, but I’ll take the change.  It’s an acceptable alteration.  Rorge likewise was killed in a different manner (Brienne killed him), but this was an awesome scene with Arya and stayed true to character.  It does ask the question though, that if they are already dead now, will Brienne and Pod run into any action on the Kingsroad now?

Just like my first date. Ahhh the memories

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Arya did know who Rorge and Biter were.  They joined the Bloody Mummers aka The Brave Companions with Jaqen H’ghar and helped Arya free the Northman that were captured at Harrenhall.  Also they were scarier in the book then they are in the show.  Also The Hound should have already been seriously injured so I’m wondering if this bite will turn into something serious since he wouldn’t let Arya cleanse it with fire.  Oh we haven’t gotten to that part yet? OK sorry, continue.

Meanwhile on the Wall:

We see Janos Slynt singling out Jon Snow and trying to make him look like a coward, an idiot and a traitor.  This break it mostly just to remind you that there is stuff going on at the Wall that will be important later.  So yeah.  Janos is a douche. Jon knows what he’s talking about. Let’s continue.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Winter is coming. Oh yeah, I think you’ve picked up on that.

Bronn and Tyrion:

Bronn very succinctly explains why he won’t be Tyrion’s champion.  I think that this rejection hurts a lot worse then Jamie’s. It’s logical. Bronn was always for Bronn (the dwarves are for the dwarves!) and it wouldn’t fit if he suddenly changed.  However, I do think that Bronn wished that he was a better man.  A more loyal man. But at the end of the day he is just Bronn: The Sell Sword.

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Nope.  This was pretty much word for word from the books.  And done amazingly well. Look that that last touch that Bronn throws in though.  Yep, he really does care about Tyrion. The only other thing I’d add is that you may have forgotten that Lollys is knocked up with a baby from her gang rape that occurred when they sent Marcella off to Dorne. Bronn later names that baby Tyrion and I think he does that just to let Cersei know that she may have bought his cooperation, but not his loyalty (if he actually had much left).

Dany and Daario Naharis:

So Dany sends Daario to kill the Masters, but not before she exercised her right of first night with Daario. Hmmm or maybe she’s just been alone with guys for a really long time and liked the way Daario massages. . .his knives.  Anyway, insert sex scene– wait scratch that– insert sex scene that isn’t shown.

Random acts.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Dany has been fantasizing about this for a while so she’s mostly just doing this for herself.  It leads to some sticky situations later, but really as I’ve stated before Dany is just boring right now.  Of course putting her in that dress makes her more interesting.

Melisandre and Selyse:

As if to make up for not showing the sex scene between Daario and Dany we see the Red Woman naked for an uncomfortably long time. Blah, blah, blah, they are both crazy and creepy.  Oh and evidently the Red Woman wants Seylse’s daughter along just in case they need to sacrifice her to the Red God. Totally normal.

goddamn carice van houten is probably the most beautiful human ever

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You’ve probably gotten everything you need out of this.  They are both really weird and really creepy.  The Red Woman will become more and more important as time goes on.

Dany and Jorah:

Yeah I’m not even going to address this.  We are reminded once again Dany is a strong female character. We got it.

The Hound and Arya

I mentioned before the whole fire/infection issue.  I am curious as to where this is going to take us.  I doubt that the sketchy water Arya washed it out with is going to fix it.  The Hound is one of those characters (like Jamie Lannister) that I truly hated for so long, but then once I got to see his character develop I love him. I want to hug and protect him as no one ever did for him.  Imagine having to live with someone that you were always afraid they might kill you for the fun of it. Yeah, just not cool.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

The Mountain is the head of the house because his father died under suspicious circumstances as did his sister and his two wives.  The Mountain is also known for killing people on a whim. So yeah his baby brother might have a few issues he needs to work through.  Evidently the Stark girls bring out all the good in him.

Brienne and Pod:

The adventure continues with our daring duo.  Hot Pie offers some comedy relief and Brienne’s expressions are priceless. However Hot Pie does come through in the end and spills the beans on Arya.  Good thing Brienne isn’t one of the bad guys.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books something big is about to go down with these two.  We’ll see if it happens in the show.  My only spoiler/theory/thought that I’d like to add is to the readers out there.  What if the one word Brienne says at a critical moment is Arya? We’ll see.  (EDIT: My brother pointed out to me that GRRM has confirmed that they word she said was sword– so I was wrong). They are now on their way to the Erie which in and of itself is a bit different than the books so maybe we’ll all be surprised.

The Red Viper and Tyrion:

Out of all the people Tyrion didn’t expect to visit him Prince Oberyn was probably very high on that list. This whole conversation is mostly word for word out of the books.  It was more heartbreaking to watch than to read. Cersei has hated Tyrion for so long. Because of his deformity, or the fact that their mother died during childbirth, or because he interrupted what she had with Jamie.  Who knows? All I know is that it was painful to watch Oberyn tell Tyrion about his visit all those years ago.

And the emotion that Tyrion showed when Oberyn made his announcement was perfect.  I know Tywin wasn’t expecting that in response. After all why would Oberyn help a Lannister?

Sansa and Littlefinger:

Back to the Erie and some creepiness. Sansa builds a snow Winterfell and Robyn (aka Robert) acts like a little sh#t and gets slapped for it.  Fearing repercussions Sansa kinda panics to Littlefinger who gives her some speech about how he thinks of her like his daughter and then grabs her and kisses her.  Yeah not weird at all. Lysa sees it all and of course that bodes well for Sansa right? Or maybe not. Lysa freaks out and threatens Sansa by pushing her towards the Moon Door. Littlefinger responded this way:

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books there was a musician hanging around that this murder was pinned on.  I’m not sure how they are going to play this here. Needless to say Sansa has learned a lot about the kind of person Littlefinger is and I don’t think she’ll make the same mistakes Lysa or Catelyn made. Littlefinger becomes more creepy as does Robert Robyn.

Major Character Deaths: One

Boob Count: Just one pair

See you in two weeks!

Game of Thrones: The Laws of Gods and Men. When Peter Dinklage Proved He Deserved Every Award Ever Made.

Let’s get started:

 

So much awesome happens in this episode, but we start out seeing Stannis and Davos meeting with the Iron Bank asking for financial assistance to defeat the Targaryens.  OK so even I found this whole exchange to be mostly boring and Stannis is an emotionless douche which doesn’t help at all.  So. . .

What the Watchlings Don’t Know:

Cersei at this time, or very shortly after this time, has stopped making payments to the Iron Bank.  Not paying the Iron Bank is like not paying Tony Soprano.  It’s not done if you want to stay alive.  So this scene sets up Stannis receiving backing from Braavos and why this would come about.

The other thing you possibly don’t know is that Davos is an honorable and loyal man.  He sees Stannis as someone who not only saved him from death or a life on the wall, but also raised his family to a position of honor.  Because of this he will stick by Stannis no matter how big of a douche he is.

Cut to Asha or whatever they call her on the show (Yara?) trying to save Theon.  We have now exited the book world and have entered a world totally made up by the writers of the show.  Luckily we have shots of gratuitous sex interspersed within this section to distract us from this. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Iwan Rheon (Ramsey Snow) is a phenomenal actor.  If you haven’t watched BBC’s Misfits you should just to see him in that as well.

Like seriously, daaaaaamn

What this show the Watchlings:

I really think this was just a set up to show how much damage has been done to Theon and how messed up The Bastard is.  Well mission accomplished.

Now we have to have our moment with Dany.  We see Drogon scaring a shepherd boy and burning and killing sheep which looks awesome.  Drogon has grown and is super scary now.  The Dragons are no longer cute little mascots.  We also see her trying to rule and we see that it sucks to have to do all this.  Now we understand why The Hand takes care of so much for the King in Westeros.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

A shepherd also comes to her claiming that Drogon killed his child and Dany is so horrified that this happened that she begins to take steps to cage her dragons. . .which goes as one would expect. The good news is that they are speeding up this story line a lot so maybe it won’t suck as much as it does in the books.

Ahhhh and now we are getting to the good stuff.  We get a little taste of Oberyn’s sharp tongue and get to see how stupid Cersei is. (Seriously. “baby dragons”?  Yeah things grow. . .sooo they are probably not going to always be baby dragons). Also I feel like Varys is pretty openly showing contempt for her (even though she doesn’t notice) and that Tywin also shows that he knows that his daughter is an idiot.  I think I love Oberyn more in the show than I do in the books.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s great in the books too, but Pedro Pascal really brings the character to life.  I find it interesting that Varys seems to dislike Oberyn.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears saying again.  Oberyn is known as a formidable knight.  He’s in King’s Landing with the expressed interest of getting revenge for the murder of his sister and sister’s children.  And when I say murder I mean that his sister’s infant son had his brains bashed in then she was raped by Gregor Clegane while he still had bits of her son’s brain on his hands.  Then her and her daughter was just as brutally murdered as well.  So he’s got an ax to grind and is biding his time.

Finally we see the trial begin.  Jamie fetches Tyrion and is obviously upset that he is escorting his brother to this farce of a trial.  Jamie has followed what is best for his family all his life, but now he can’t do that without hurting someone who not only is family too, but whom he loves just as fiercely. We watch Tommen adorably step down from the trial and then Tyrion becomes the smartass that we know he is.  One by one people give witness to Tyrion’s motivation to kill Joffery and “proof” that Tyrion did it.  Obviously we know that Tyrion didn’t do it (and so does Margaery and her face is great to watch as all this unfolds). Almost everything that is told is the truth, but with a ridiculous spin on it leaving out all the parts that make them look bad. The final nail in the coffin is Shea’s testimony where she states that she knows that Sansa and Tyrion plotted the death of Joffery because she heard them planning.  She also makes it sound as if Tyrion took advantage of her and she wasn’t really just a whore.

Here’s where is gets really good.  Jamie has tried to fix it up so that Tyrion will live no matter what and he tells Tyrion to hold his tongue and ask to be sent to the wall when he is declared guilty.  So of course Tyrion responds to this with the most epic passion filled speech ever known.  Shea has just ripped his heart out so he lets everyone have it. And it is glorious.

He ended this rousing speech by asking for a trial by combat instead of continuing with this joke.  You can see Jamie wanting to throttle Tyrion for doing all this.  All I can say is that Peter Dinklage made it happen.  You can see the anger, the emotion, you want to cry for him, hug him, tell him that he is loved.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You pretty much got it all here.  Just know that in two weeks (maybe three) Tyrion will make it happen once more and people will be cheering all across the lands.

The previews for next week promise a lot of action and perhaps some Dany/Daario sex. Maybe we’ll get to see if Emilia Clarke really did declare that she would do no more nude scenes.

Major Character Deaths: 0 (but it’s not looking good for Tyrion)

Boob Count: 3 pairs

Game of Thrones: Oathkeeper. When the readers became shocked and confused.

brienne

This episode started out with Daenerys capturing Mereen in a slightly downplayed manner.  Yeah it was just as boring in the books.  I would like to say that I love Dany, but from here on out in the books I found her story tedious to say the least.  So since we’ve seen them add dimensions to the story lines maybe they will do the same for Dany– or at least speed this process up. Cathy (my blogging partner on these posts) was somewhat disappointed that we didn’t get to see any form of fighting when Daenerys takes over Maureen. I mean, not even a tiny bit. She has unsullied, dragons, Daario…we could have seen just a few people get stabbed or something. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to blame shooting schedule or budget or something. Point is, Daenerys now controls Maureen.

The scene with Grey Worm was nice though.  I really like the actor they picked for him and he brings life to the Unsullied.  Out of all the mistreated characters in the books I always felt sorry for the Unsullied.  For those not in the know, the Unsullied were taken young and taught to fight from a young age.  Some of the things they had to do was raise a puppy then kill it with their own hands, and take a baby from a mother and kill it.  Yeah, you know, nothing that would scar you for life.

She also doled out justice to the Mereen masters and as much as I love Barristan the Bold I side with Dany on the type of justice that was given.

Maybe they can also confirm this aunt/nephew relationship since they spilled the beans on so many other things this episode.  Jon Snow is Rheagar’s son.  It is known.

Cut to Bronn training with Jamie .  I really like Bronn.  In the books he’s very much a secondary character and I like that they combined him with some other characters to make him more memorable on the show.  Bronn laid out some truths that Jamie needed to hear.  Jamie’s and Tyrion’s relationship is one of my favorites.  As much as Cersei hates Tyrion Jamie loves him.  Jamie has been pretty much the only person that Tyrion has always been able to count on.

Which led to this touching scene.  And I’m being serious about that.  This episode showed many times the man that Jamie has become since being released from Catelyn Stark. I really really wish they’d left the “rape” out of last week’s episode.  That is not who Jamie really is.

Tyrion is such a great guy– which makes me believe even more that he’s not really a Lannister.

Next up we see Littlefinger being Littlefinger.  Gah he is such a sleaze. He’s going to marry Lysa aka– trying to figure out how to get in Sansa’s skirts.  He does shed some light on Joffery’s death though and confirms what even the books haven’t confirmed yet.  He had a hand in the murder, but was helping out someone else.  Some one powerful.  Low and behold:

Whaaat??  Once again this is something that I’d suspected/known-ish for a while, but the books hadn’t out and out confirmed it yet. We set up that whole “Clue” post last week thinking that it was going to take a while for the true killer to be revealed and, nope.  You gotta love the Queen of Thorns.  She’s more honorable and more cunning than any Lannister.  And evidently also a ho from her other story that she told Margaery during this stroll.

Meanwhile up on the Wall people are conspiring to do bad things to Jon Snow– between the people that just don’t like him and Locke who is trying to find out where Bran and Rikkon are Jon has danger on all sides, but doesn’t know it yet.  Jon is pretty smart though so I don’t fear too much for him right now.

We also had a scene between Jamie and Cersei showing her for the drunk bitch that she is.  Seriously– WHY did they have Jamie rape her last week??  He is trying to become honorable again and she is on a path in the opposite direction.  Out of all the Lannisters Cersei is the most crazy.  Perhaps it would have been different if her mother had lived and she hadn’t looked up to her father her whole life.

Margaery taking a page from her grandmother’s book visits Tommen at night, which could have been super creepy and gross, but instead showed off her amazing manipulation skills.  She shows Tommen kindness and nurtures his sweet nature.  Way to go Margaery.

In the books Tommen is pretty young.  Younger than he is here, so in this instance I’m really glad they deviated from the books.  I would be super creeped out if he was the kid that he should have been.

Now we come to the good parts.  Jamie and Brienne. Brienne is obviously in love with Jamie, but what they don’t touch on in the show is that Jamie has some not so pure thoughts/feelings about Brienne.  I won’t say he loves her or anything, but she’s definitely helped him to become the better man that he’s turning into. I think both Catelyn Stark and Brienne have reminded Jamie of what it was like when he had honor and he wants to live like that again.  Jamie has had to make so many hard choices in life and I think he wants to choose what is right from now on.

Plus we get to see Pod and Brienne set off together.  This upcoming story line is great. It’s humorous and touching and everything you could hope for.

Love. It.

Now we get our obligatory boob scene and get to see how the mutineers are faring at Caster’s keep.  We also find out that Ghost is being held captive.  Now I don’t remember any of this in the books, but it could be that I’m forgetting something.  I know Ghost was separated from him for a while, but I don’t see him allowing himself to be captured.  Ghost is more of a “rip your throat out” kind of wolf.  This is where the show is deviating pretty strongly from the books, but as we know from this documentary GRRM is overseeing a lot of the show so he has to approve right?

After Summer gets hurt everyone goes on the worst creeping mission ever.  I’m disappointed in Meera– after all she’s supposed to know all about the woods and then goes stomping out not looking where she’s going.  Also lets talk about Jojen.

Cathy says it best:

You know what I don’t understand? Theoretical physics. Know what else I don’t understand? Why Jojen was sweating like it was August in south Texas, when it was -30 out. Yeah, I know he was getting ready to have a green dream, but seriously, why all the sweat? He looked like he was a part of a bad outbreak movie.

Yes!  And NO ONE noticed!  Everyone is going on like normal until he collapses foaming at the mouth.  Come on guys– you weren’t wondering why he was pouring sweat in the snow? We are now to assume that Jon will save Bran and the others when he raids Craster’s Keep, but that is a total deviation from the books.  Yes Sam knew that Bran was alive, but he didn’t tell Jon.  Coldhands (who we haven’t met yet– even though we should have already) made him swear to keep it a secret.

OK now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way let me talk about what the show added that I was confused about while watching the episode, but now am cool with.  We got to see The Others take Craster’s son and turn him into one of them.  At first I thought– “what the crap!? Why did that add all of that?” but the more I thought about it and after a little research (and a friend talking over all of this with me) I realized a few things.

In the books the Others are called “Craster’s Sons” by Craster’s wives, but I always just thought of that as a figure of speech since he gave them up to the Others.  I had assumed they ate the babies or the babies just froze to death. However when you go back and reread some of the passages and pair it with what we saw last night then it appears that this is all Craster’s fault.  HE has been supplying new White Walkers for this huge army of Walkers.

Gilly was crying. “Me and the babe. Please. I’ll be your wife, like I was Craster’s.

Please, ser crow. He’s a boy, just like Nella said he’d be. If you don’t take him, they will.”

 “They?” said Sam, and the raven cocked its black head and echoed, “They. They. They.”

 “The boy’s brothers,” said the old woman on the left.

“Craster’s sons. The white cold’s rising out there, crow. I can feel it in my bones.

These poor old bones don’t lie. They’ll be here soon, the sons.”

Before I had seen this as just superstitious talk of scared Wildlings.  Yes we know there are really White Walkers, but they haven’t been seen for so long that the Wildlings have just made things up about them, or remembered incompletely.  However, after watching this segment of the Walkers turning the babe into one of their own so it will obviously still grow and change in it’s new state, George was telling us all along where the evil was coming from.

So I’m going to throw out a couple of theories and one of them will include a HUGE HUGE book five spoiler, so don’t continue unless you are up to date on the books.

1. Maybe Coldhands is Benjen Stark.  I hadn’t ever thought so, but thought he was an older Stark.  But what if they had tried to make him a Walker (not a wight like the other dead zombie like creatures) and he had been able to slow/stop the process so that now he isn’t human yet isn’t a mindless evil thing.  I’m not stuck on this theory, but I’m interested to see Coldhands whenever he shows up (hopefully they don’t cut him out of the show).

2. When Jon Snow is laying stabbed and dying at the end of the 5th book he begins to feel the cold.  So maybe it’s not his death that he feels coming, but the Others coming to attack the wall and the attack would then distract his attackers and allow the Red Woman (or someone else) to save Jon’s life.  I kinda think he dies all the way here though and the Red Woman brings him back and therefore he’s fulfilled his oath to the Night’s Watch, but these are all just theories.  I can go on and on about my Jon Snow theories.

What did you think?  What are your predictions for next week?  Why the #(@*#! did the previews for next week show Arya stabbing The Hound in the stomach with Needle??

See you next week!

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pair

Game of Thrones, Breaker of Chains: Tyrion in the Courtyard with the Poison

tyrion

We got to see a good many things last night and many scenes that will change the way we think about characters from here on out.  Below are mine and Cathy’s thoughts, suspicions and theories.  Cathy’s words are in normal typeset and mine are in bold.  Enjoy and as always there are spoilers galore (both from the show and from the books– I try to give extra warning for book spoilers).

This season is quickly shaping up to be a gigantic game of Clue. We know the weapon, poison.  We know the where, the wedding reception. We don’t however know the who.

The Suspects:

Tyrion: Cersei had Tyrion arrested at the end of episode two. He handed Joffrey the cup of wine which is presumably where the poison was. Joffrey pointed to him while he was dying, but being one of the only people in Joffrey’s direct line of sight, that’s not unexpected.  My favorite scene from last night’s episode was the scene between Podrick and Tyrion. We now know for sure Tyrion had nothing to do with Joffrey’s poisoning, he says so himself. I believe Tyrion is one of the few characters we can fully believe. Podrick fills Tyrion in on who has been appointed judges for his trial, and confesses that he’s been offered a knighthood if he’ll testify against Tyrion, but staying true to his Lord, Podrick refused. Fearful for what they’ll do to Podrick, Tyrion tells Pod to testify against him, that he doesn’t want Pod to potentially be killed for him.

Cersei has hated Tyrion since their mother died giving birth to him (or did she?  As in perhaps Tyrion was the result of an affair and Tywin– this is a long shot, but I’m still throwing it out there).  As both Cathy and Tyrion pointed out though if Tyrion was going to kill the King he would have done it in a way that didn’t implicate himself.  Tyrion is smarter than that.  Oh and I second the statement that the best part of the episode was the scene between Pod and Tyrion.

Olenna Tyrell: Grannie’s been maneuvering her house up through the ranks. Her house is considerably more important now that her granddaughter married the King, and she helped finance part of the war. Now that Joffrey’s dead, she’s protected her granddaughter from a hellish marriage. The only sticking point is Margaery’s status as Queen. The marriage wasn’t consummated yet, so is Margaery really queen? If Olenna was behind the murder, one would think she would have waited and poisoned Joffrey’s breakfast the next morning.

OK I’m going to disagree a little with Cathy here.  This is who I think killed Joffery (if only there was an envelope full of cards I could check).  She knew what Joffery was and his death BEFORE consummation leaves them in a strong position to negotiate a marriage between her and Tommen.  Margaery was able to marry Joffery because her marriage with Renly wasn’t ever consummated and it would be even creepier than it already is for her to marry Tommen if she’s already had sex.  Of course we haven’t found out exactly who did this in the books yet so it’s anyone’s guess.

 

Oberyn Martell: The Lannisters’ men killed his sister. He made it clear from episode one that he wants revenge for his sister’s death. We learned last night that he studied poisons at the Citadel. Did he use his knowledge to kill Joffrey and avenge his sister? He told Tywin he wouldn’t be that obvious, but Joffrey certainly would be a wonderful way to hit the Lannisters where it hurts. In a surprising turn of events, Tywin offers an alliance to Oberyn; however we never see them agree to it. Did Oberyn accept Tywin’s offer, we’ll have to wait to find out.

Oberyn has a serious ax to grind, but I also don’t believe that he would kill Joffery in this fashion.  I see him more as someone who would derive more pleasure out of stabbing someone through the heart.  Also they Martells hold Cersei’s daughter in Dorne so could inflict more pain that way.

Oberyn 

OK I’m going to add some suspects that Cathy didn’t mention.  

Mace Tyrell: In the books it is implied that the poison was contained in a hairnet that Sansa got from her fool and that the stone with the poison was removed during the wedding feast and slipped into Joffery’s drink.  But what if the poison was in the cup all along, but was covered up by something that had to slowly dissolve?  Mace gave him the cup (in the show– I don’t really remember this from the book, but I might have just forgotten this).

 

Margaery Tyrell: She also knew who Joffery really was and didn’t want to marry him.  I feel like she was at least complicit in his murder even if she didn’t put the poison in the cup herself.  Of course she came out smelling like a Rose no matter how you look at this.

Littlefinger: Varys once said “Littlefinger would burn the kingdom down if it meant he could sit on a throne of ashes.” Petyr wants power, and we know he’s not afraid to play both sides to get it. I’ve always believed he’s a character that should never be ignored. Even his absence in the story is important. He’s ALWAYS up to something. We learned last night he was behind Dontos sneaking Sansa out of the party. How did he know that something would happen at the party to allow for Sansa to escape? I don’t believe for one second he really cares about helping Sansa get to safety. He has a plan to use her in some scheme to help him get closer to the throne.

Littlefinger is someone that I really really dislike.  Every now and then he does something awesome (cause in reality Sansa probably would have died if she had stayed in the capital and then later he will do something with a Moon Door that I also approve of). Mostly everything else that he does is super creepy or to further his own agenda.  The show has touched on it, but he was super duper in love with Catelyn and is now trying to fulfill his fantasies through Sansa. 

Sansa: Joffrey has terrorized her for years. Did she finally snap? No. She’s an idiot. I feel bad for her, but Sansa’s too stupid to have orchestrated the poisoning. If you’ve read the books, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The show makes her look halfway intelligent. The “real” Sansa is a spoiled moron. She’s definitely been used in the plot to kill Joffrey, she just doesn’t realize it.

Seriously she’s an idiot. I think the reason that watchlings don’t release how horrible she is is that it’s hard to convey that those tortured looks she has are because she’s feeling sorry for herself.  Since Arya disappeared she’s spent maybe 30 minutes worried about her and hours and hours blaming her for things.  She was sad about her Dad, Mom and brother, but not too bothered.  She’s weak.  She’s annoying and doesn’t seem like she’s ever going to die.

Is the killer one of these people, a combination of these people, or someone entirely different? One thing’s for sure, it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

There is more to the world than that’s going on in King’s Landing. We see Jon taking more of a leadership role at the wall; Arya’s brief feeling of camaraderie towards the Hound has gone; and Daenerys is off freeing slaves. On that note, let’s all give a slow clap to Daario for his sweet moves last night.

 

Yummmmmm. For those of you that don’t know Daario Naharis’s knives have naked women on the hilt and he likes to rub and kiss their breasts which Dany finds sexy.  I can see why she’s attracted to him. Jorah now?  Poor Jorah.

And the only only other thing I can say about Dany is enjoy the story line now because it’s about to get boring. 

Also for all you non-readers out there:

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pairs (it seemed like more though didn’t it?)

EDIT!

WARNING– EXTRA SPOILERS

One last thing I forgot to mention.  I was disappointed in the scene where Jamie rapes Cersei.  In the books it does in fact happen much like that except it is consensualJamie has changed a lot since he was captured and then released by the Starks.  This scene with Cersei was kind of a goodbye to his love with her.  Also in the books this happened right when he got back.  Joffery died during his journey with Brienne so there hasn’t been all this tension between him and his family.  That comes later. I just feel like the added rape seriously damages his character.  True he’s already thrown a small boy off a tower, but this has jacked it up a notch.  I actually felt sorry for Cersei and believe me no one should sympathize with Cersei right now.

Game of Thrones: Two Swords Season 4 Premier

arya

Finally!  Game of Thrones has returned!  This week I asked a friend of mine from college to help me with the review of the premier. Cathy does science-y stuff at Vanderbilt and is a huge ASoIaF fan and will be adding to my Game of Thrones reviews throughout the season.

My name’s Cathy and I’ve been into sci-fi for a long time, but I will admit, other than Lord of the Rings, I hadn’t read much in the fantasy genre until HBO released Game of Thrones. After seeing the first season, I devoured the books, and like most, am eagerly awaiting The Winds of Winter.

The night started out with me running in place, pointing at the TV, and squealing about Game of Thrones being back. Ok, not really, but I wanted to. Our long wait is finally over!

Season three left us in a state of mourning for the Stark family and their banner men. Arya was heartbreakingly close to being reunited with her family, until the Hound rescued her from being a victim of the Red Wedding along with her mother and brother. The war is seemingly over, Bolton has been named Warden of the North, while his bastard Ramsey has been busy cutting off pieces of Theon Greyjoy. After receiving “Theon Jr.” in the mail, his sister has gathered the Iron Born to stage a rescue attempt. Jon Snow made it back to Castle Black after being shot three times by a betrayed Ygritte, and we were left waiting an entire year to find out if he will survive his injuries. Stannis is moving his army north to help the Night’s Watch defend the wall, while somewhere in a row boat on the sea, Gendry is making his way back to King’s Landing. Speaking of King’s Landing, Jamie (sans right hand) and Brienne have made it back just in time for Joffrey and Margaery to get married.

Oh how the chess board has changed! Bring on Season 4!

I thought the opening of season 4 was the best so far. We are greeted with Twyin Lanister melting down Ice into two new swords; while he throws the wolf casing on the fire and watches it burn. Love. It. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no fan of the Lannister’s but that scene helped illustrate just how nefarious Tywin Lannister is. Hey, Arielle here, I just wanted to add that it seems like they were reinforcing how horrible Tywin is at every turn this episode.  He belittles his favorite son, Tyrion has to try to live with a woman that Tywin arranged to have her family brutally murdered, Tyrion also has to deal with The Red Viper (Oberyn Martell) who wants revenge for Tywin’s actions from years previous and while Tyrion is cleaning up his messes Tywin still treats him with contempt. This is all topped off with the images of Ice being melted down.  Ice which should have been returned to the Starks no matter what.  Mormont got his family blade back after his son was banished, Ned took The Sword of the Morning’s sword back to his family after killing him during his “rescue” of Lyanna.  It’s super shady that Tywin not only kept the sword but melted it down into something else.

While we’re on the subject of Tywin, I thought the scene between Tywin and Tyrion was brilliantly acted, and very foretelling. In a move that should win Tywin a “World’s Greatest Dad” goblet, Tywin tells his son that he wanted to drown him in the river after he was born, but because Tyrion carried the Lannister name, he didn’t do it. Wow. How much more abuse is Tyrion going to take? His role in saving King’s Landing during the Battle of the Blackwater was accredited to his coward brat nephew, whose brave contribution to the battle was to basically pee his pants and hide. He’s been verbally abused by his family his entire life, blamed for the death of his mother, forced to marry someone he didn’t want to, etc.  Is the time coming when Tyrion shows his family just what he’s capable of? We shall see.

As far as his two siblings this episode; Jamie gets a new hand, Cersi gets drunk. There was an interesting exchange between Cersi and her Maester. She thanks him for the medicine he’s given her, and is very tight lipped when Jamie asks her about it. Hmmmm…Could this have something to do with her scheme to not marry Loras?

This episode introduces us to two new characters, Prince Oberyn Martell and his paramour Ellaria Sand. They have travelled to King’s Landing under the pretense of attending Joffery’s wedding, however we quickly learn that Oberyn houses a deep hatred for the Lannisters. He’s there to enact revenge for the death of his beloved sister Elia and her children at the hands of the Mountain and on the orders of Tywin Lannister. Something tells me that any ole Lannister isn’t going to do for Oberyn. He’s harbored his hatred for a very long time; he’s going to want to hit someone that’s going to hurt the Lannister’s deeply. Which Lion(s) he goes after will be exciting to see.

Image

My new favorite team is the Hound and Arya. I feel like they need their own comic book. The two of them roaming the land, fighting crime, and just being awesome badasses. Who didn’t laugh last night when the Hound stabbed that guy in the balls?  You know you’d read it.  Seriously though, we’re starting to  see Arya grow into the person she’s going to become. She hardened by the tragedies she’s experienced, she’s wiser, and she’s seeking revenge towards the people who have hurt her family and friends. We see her regain Needle from Polliver, stare him down, and very calmly repeat his own words back to him before she stabs him in the throat. She has one name crossed off her prayer list. Who will be next? OK here I am again– I just want to add that just as I am disturbed when Joffery kills for fun I was somewhat put off by the glee with which Arya killed.  That little smile on her face was disturbing, but I also found myself cheering her on for being able to defend herself and help The Hound kill people that obviously needed killing.  I wonder how I will feel about seeing (as opposed to reading about) her journey to come.

Lastly, I want to address a small moment that I think will have a bigger impact down the line. Dontos giving Sansa the necklace. The only other time we’ve met Dontos was in the second season when he showed up drunk to a duel, sentenced to death by Joffery  only to be saved by Sansa. He’s stripped of his knighthood and made a court fool. Why bring back a character that we’ve forgotten about? Why make a big deal of him giving Sansa his mother’s necklace? We’re going to see more of him, he’s going to be important. I’m assuming the necklace is replacing the silver jeweled hairnet that she received from him in the books.- A

 

The last thing I (Arielle) will add to this discussion is that it was interesting to see Jon Snow start to take charge of The Wall and see Maester Aemon listen to him.  Which of course one Targaryen would listen to another–amirite?! 🙂

Until next week friends!

~C~

Episode Boob Count: 2 pairs

Major character death count: 0