Game of Thrones: The Gift. Life after Sansa’s Wedding Night.

Everyone was in an uproar after last week’s episode that showed Sansa’s wedding night so thankfully no one else gets married this week, but we do get to hear Dany plan her own up coming nuptials.  That should be a fun time too right?

So this season we’ve had a lot of misdirection with the episode names (Kill the Boy, Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken, etc) and this one has a few meanings as well. On one hand we have Jorah taking his gift to his queen, we have Dany giving the gift of the fighting pits to her people, and lastly in the books Jon offered “The Gift” or an area of land between the wall and Winterfell to the Wildlings who wanted to come over and down. They would have to answer to Winterfell and the Seven Kingdoms, but they wouldn’t have to worry about White Walkers. So although all the Watchlings out there probably assume this title is talking about Jorah giving over Tyrion, it’s totally derived from that 5 minutes you see Jon and try to remember what he’s doing right now.

The Wall

Speaking of Jon we see him saying his goodbyes so he can go off and try to talk the rest of the Wildlings into either settling in the Gift or populating the abandoned castles along the wall to try to fight against the White Walkers. The Wildlings aren’t all crazy about this idea and neither are the men of the Night’s Watch. It’s very important you remember that they are super unimpressed by that and think Jon a traitor for what he’s doing. It plays a big role in things to come.

We also see Maester Aemon playing with Gilly’s baby and confusingly talking about his baby brother Egg (who later became King). You can tell Sam in worried about Aemon and it looks to be his last days. This is yet another departure from the books. In the books Jon send Maester Aemon and Sam off to the Citadel with their stories of White Walkers (and for Sam to become a maester to replace Aemon) and switches Gilly’s baby with Mance Rayder’s kid. Gilly takes this other baby off to safety with Sam and Aemon and Sam plans on telling his parents that her baby is his bastard. Gilly is heartbroken to leave her child, but eventually bonds with the other baby and the eventually bonds with Sam numerous times as well. Aemon does die in the books, but he does so on the journey while in Braavos (where Arya kills one of the men from the Night’s Watch for abandoning Sam). Sam thinks he died because the Wall and the cold were keeping him alive.

“He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch is ended.”

So instead of taking an epic journey Aemon just dies (in the books he is super upset that he died before reaching Dany. He heard about her during the journey and he wants to tell her things about her family– I think he wants to tell her how to control her dragons). Sam and Gilly just have sex (in the most realistic sex scene yet in the series) and Ghost for some reason isn’t with Jon (but he saves Sam’s life which is awesome).

Sansa

Sansa had a rough week to say the least. Last week we saw her wedding night raping and evidently the fun hasn’t stopped for her. She’s being kept a prisoner with no contact with anyone besides Theon. In an act of desperation she gets Theon’s help signalling that old woman that offered her help before. The thing she doesn’t know is that Theon is 100% scared of Ramsey and instead of going and lighting a candle like Sansa asked he went straight to the Bastard and told on her. Which didn’t go quite so well for the old lady.

Sansa and Ramsey walk around the castle discussing their future– or really just discussing Ramsey’s future as the Lord of Winterfell. I have to admire Sansa’s guts at pointing out the obvious, but she’s crazy. You don’t call Ramsey Snow Bolton a bastard to his face. She’s given him something to think about though even if she’ll definitely pay for it later. (She did manage to grab a weapon for later on this walk about– but will she be able to use it?)

Ramsey: Call me Bastard one more time!

Seriously though– I’m pretty sure she just guaranteed a pregnant woman’s death. Do you think the Frey’s will be cool with it when it’s one of their own?

Sansa: Yeah, about him. . .I didn’t like him either.

After viewing Ramsey’s work on the old lady help I think Sansa is finally realizing what kind of person she married. As much as I cannot stand Sansa in the books and wish that she’d been killed off in place of any of the other Starks, I have to say she’s much more in control of herself on the show than in the books. In the books she’s just concerned with what is happening to her and where her next lemoncake is coming from. Of course she’s also not married to Ramsey so she has that going for her.

Stannis

Stannis is stuck in the snow trying to march on Winterfell and losing people by the day. Either deserting or dying from lack of heat and food. He’s losing before he’s even started and he can’t go back to the Wall because he will just be stuck there. Defeated. Melisandre states that she knows how to take Winterfell and that all they need to do is sacrifice someone with King’s blood. Which just happens to be his daughter who she wants to burn alive. Yeah totes sounds like good idea. I love Stannis for not only rejecting this idea but sending the Red Woman away after she suggests it. It truly is a despicable plan (and not at all in the books).

In the books she’s wanting to burn Mance’s baby which is why Jon sends the baby away from the wall. Melisandre really is a horrible person, but she might play a role in helping Jon with all those people that think he’s a traitor now so I don’t wish her dead. Yet.

Jorah

Jorah and Tyrion manage to get sold together (after some quick action on Tyrion’s part) and are headed to the fighting pit of Mereen (you know the pits that Dany just opened back up under the condition that no slaves would be used. . .yeah about that).

In the books Tyrion actually saves Jorah here. Jorah is in a somewhat in a catatonic state at this point and Tyrion is being sold with another dwarf  Penny. (Be super glad they cut the whole Penny and her dog and pig show out of the series). He says that Jorah plays the bear in the act and all good acts must have a bear. They also don’t get sold into the fighting pits, but Tyrion ends up there later on and gets saved at the last minute by Dany (it’s more complicated then that, but pretty much that’s what happens).

We see Dany getting some lovin’ time with her man Daario who she claims she cannot marry because she has to marry the Master from Mereen for political purposes. Let me say though that Daario has the right idea about killing all the masters and showing people what’s up. If she did marry Daario they would make a pretty BA team. She has become too careful (and gotten a rather odd wig too).

Now we have come to a meeting between Jorah and his queen. In a scene copied from Gladiator they are all fighting in front of the queen and Jorah realizes it and runs out to fight too. I’m pretty sure Russell Crowe was in the group of fighters, but Jorah manages to kill them all. Dany is shocked and appalled by this sight and obviously is having second doubts about opening the fighting pits again (as she should). Jorah reveals himself to her at the end and before she can have him removed he tells her he has a gift for her. On cue Tyrion runs out and announces he is the gift. When asked he proclaims himself Tyrion Lannister. Oh you know just the son  of the man that ordered the slaughter of your family. She seems to take it like you’d expect.

Queen of Thorns

The Queen of Thorns and the High Sparrow have words together. He seems to genuinely like her and spars verbally with her for a while. She can’t figure him out though and doesn’t exactly win this exchange. This of course frustrates her and she is obviously trying to figure out a way to bring down the High Sparrow.

She meets with Petyr who tempts her with a deal to take down the Lannisters. He’s playing all sides to make sure that he has an agreement with the winning party. . .no matter who that is.

Cersei

Well, well, well. She’s still oblivious as to what is going on with the church and thinks everything is going her way. After Tommen threatens to go talk to the High Sparrow to get his wife freed Cersei steps in tells Tommen that she’ll go on his behalf to try to get her freedom.

She does visit the High Sparrow and Margeary as well. She’s super smug about what’s going on with Margeary and obviously thinks that everything is going her way. Well that is until she starts talking to the High Sparrow. He tells her about how Lancel came to them broken and slowly unburdened himself to the church. He told them about the horrible things that he did with Cersei and that gives them grounds to arrest her as well. Yeah she tries the same reasoning that Margeary did and it gets her just as far.

In the books Cersei’s plan to get rid of Tommen’s bride is much more complicated and it looks like she has framed Margeary successfully until the men she had swear that they had sex with Margeary were tortured until they admitted they were lying. I do hope they keep the punishment the same in the show as in the books though. Let’s just say that it’s very very satisfying. Plus boobs.

Dorne

Back in Dorne Myrcella doesn’t want to leave because she loves her betrothed and wants to marry him. Jamie doesn’t quite know how to handle her. Bronn mocks and taunts the Sand Snakes in their cell which is amusing until one of them feels the need to make sure we see some breasts this episode. It’s totally unnecessary and ridiculous. All of you people that were up in arms last week about Sansa should be kicking up a fuss about the show’s use of naked women to keep viewer’s interest. I don’t need to see someone naked every five minutes to keep my attention. Bronn of course was poisoned by his cut and after boobs were seen he receives the antidote. Because boobs. I don’t know this whole scene is confusing. But there are boobs so I guess we’re not supposed to question it.

On the bright side– no rapes this week!  Plus Cersei is getting a taste of her own medicine so it’s almost a cheerful episode even if we did lose a main character.

Game of Thrones: Sons of the Harpy. When Cersei Screws Herself for a Change.

Jaime and Bronn

Once again we are in uncharted territory. In the books Jaime is off being an interesting character  a peacemaker for his King and here we see him making moony eyes at Tarth and explaining that he’s doing all this for his “niece” and to avoid a war. Book Jaime would have also done everything he could to avoid war, but he didn’t do this. Bronn was off killing off his wife’s family so that she would inherit and although I loved that about him he makes a good sidekick for Jaime’s adventures.

Their stealth mission is all for nothing though because they are not only found out, but they also kill a bunch of people while doing so. I wonder if this is meant to replace the scene where Myrcella’s Kingsguard was killed and she lost an ear. I could see that, but I also have a feeling that there will be a lot of blood spilled before Jaime leaves Dorne and probably just as awesomely as it is in this episode.

and who would that be?

Cersei

Cersei is busy thinking she’s super smart. She sends off daddy Tyrell after refusing his loan of gold. He’s to negotiate with The Iron Bank to get a better rate for the money they have loaned The Seven Kingdoms. The Iron Bank is kinda like borrowing money from a loan shark– that offered reasonable rates. It’s all cool as long as you’re paying it back, but if you decide not too then they break your legs. Or kill you.

She’s obviously trying to separate the Tyrells for her next move. Reinstating the Faith Militant. She sees this as a totally awesome idea. They can punish people who sin and she won’t be expected to save them. She then sets up the Tyrells for their fall. She’s not really thinking this through though. A church that is that upset about gays and fornicators probably isn’t going to be cool with a girl that cheated on her husband with her brother. Incest is totes not cool either.

Her cousin that is also had an affair with is now sporting a cool scar (ouch) and arrests Loras for his indiscretions. Yep this is going to go great Cersei.

The new King and Queen

Margaery is incensed at the actions of the church and gets Tommen to confront his mother to have Loras released. In response Cersei sends Tommen to confront the church (which if she knew what she had really created she would know that’s a horrible idea) and he isn’t allowed to talk to the High Sparrow. Tommen then learns of what happens when your wife asks for something and you don’t deliver.

Stannis

Stannis’ weirdo wife talks to Stannis about how much she dislikes Jon Snow and how gross she finds her daughter. I don’t like the Red Woman, but I am glad she stood up for Shireen.

Shireen goes to see her father later and he speaks to her of his childhood and is much more personable than he ever was in the books. He talks about how he’s proud of her and how she contracted greyscale. I have to say he moved up a few pegs in my book from this speech. He’s still an ass, but a little bit less of one.

Jon Snow

Jon is faced with having to ask Roose Bolton for help even though Roose is the one responsible for Robb and Catelyn’s deaths and so many of Jon’s other friends. He does the honorable thing of course and signs the letter.

Then in comes Melisandre to make things super uncomfortable. She asks Jon to march south to Winterfell with Stannis to help with the siege there. He states again that he’s of the Night’s Watch now and not meant to take part in the wars of the realm. Even though a creeper is asking I’m sure he’d love to go rip Roose Bolton’s throat out. She then gets uncomfortably close and undresses herself. Jon seems to be falling for it– and I for one didn’t like how far he went along with it before stopping it. The big take away from that interaction though is the statement that she made that he could cast shadows. So she sees that there is something powerful inside of Jon Snow. It is somewhat a confirmation for all of us R+L=J shippers and maybe proof that she has begun to see him in her fires now.

Because he’s totally Lyanna’s kid

Sansa

She’s walking around the crypts lighting the candles talking to Petyr about her family and he offers the second R+L=J clue of the evening talking about how Rhaegar chose Lyanna at the tournament at Harrenhall. Sansa then responded with the party line that Lyanna was kidnapped and raped, but Sansa is an idiot so what does she know.

Petyr does reveal that he has somewhat of a plan to bring down Roose Bolton and warns Sansa to not trust any of them and to use Ramsey. I wonder if Petyr really is so clueless as to what kind of boy Ramsey Snow Bolton is. Roose is cunning and dangerous, but Ramsey is batsh*t crazy. Roose skins his victims in private while Ramsey does even worse things behind closed doors.

First of all–gross and secondly– pretty sure you’re already married Sansa.

The Sand Snakes

If you haven’t picked up on it they are all warriors. So in the books there are tons more of these women and they are all of Oberyn’s bastard daughters. They do try to rise up, but the Prince of Dorne crushes them and finally explains his true plans for revenge. It looks like they are taking a bloodier and different course. But who knows Jaime’s story and the Sand Snake’s story is just starting.

Jorah and Tyrion

Jorah is still trying to find his way and Tyrion is now trying to make the best of this situation. I do love that Tyrion throws it in Jorah’s face that he’s taking Tyrion to the same place that he was trying to go himself. I do think Tyrion would be good for Dany, but even in the books I doubted her ever trusting him. I do wonder if he ends up helping her with her dragon problem and winning her trust that way though. That’s just my theory.

Dany and Co.

Dany is still trying to figure out this ruling thing– evidently it’s still hard, but Barristan distracts her with a story about Rhaegar that once again show that he’s not this rapist warmonger that we were led to believe, but that he might truly be a super duper nice guy. Say a guy that would run off with a girl from the North and have a baby with her.I mean– sounds like that’s a possibility.

They then take another turn from the books and have the Sons of the Harpy attack the Unsullied to which Barristan runs to help and help he does. But with very sad results. Yes he kills way more people than you’d expect and appears to save Grey Worm’s life. However that only results in the loss of his own and Grey Worm seems to be dying as well. I’m assuming they are doing this to shake up this story line and if it makes Dany less boring I’m all for it even though I’m super sad that Ser Barristan had to die to achieve this.

So just in case I didn’t do a good job explaining it– I found this handy dandy explanation on Tumblr of all the Rhaegar and Lyanna theory confirmations:

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