Game of Thrones: The Laws of Gods and Men. When Peter Dinklage Proved He Deserved Every Award Ever Made.

Let’s get started:

 

So much awesome happens in this episode, but we start out seeing Stannis and Davos meeting with the Iron Bank asking for financial assistance to defeat the Targaryens.  OK so even I found this whole exchange to be mostly boring and Stannis is an emotionless douche which doesn’t help at all.  So. . .

What the Watchlings Don’t Know:

Cersei at this time, or very shortly after this time, has stopped making payments to the Iron Bank.  Not paying the Iron Bank is like not paying Tony Soprano.  It’s not done if you want to stay alive.  So this scene sets up Stannis receiving backing from Braavos and why this would come about.

The other thing you possibly don’t know is that Davos is an honorable and loyal man.  He sees Stannis as someone who not only saved him from death or a life on the wall, but also raised his family to a position of honor.  Because of this he will stick by Stannis no matter how big of a douche he is.

Cut to Asha or whatever they call her on the show (Yara?) trying to save Theon.  We have now exited the book world and have entered a world totally made up by the writers of the show.  Luckily we have shots of gratuitous sex interspersed within this section to distract us from this. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Iwan Rheon (Ramsey Snow) is a phenomenal actor.  If you haven’t watched BBC’s Misfits you should just to see him in that as well.

Like seriously, daaaaaamn

What this show the Watchlings:

I really think this was just a set up to show how much damage has been done to Theon and how messed up The Bastard is.  Well mission accomplished.

Now we have to have our moment with Dany.  We see Drogon scaring a shepherd boy and burning and killing sheep which looks awesome.  Drogon has grown and is super scary now.  The Dragons are no longer cute little mascots.  We also see her trying to rule and we see that it sucks to have to do all this.  Now we understand why The Hand takes care of so much for the King in Westeros.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

A shepherd also comes to her claiming that Drogon killed his child and Dany is so horrified that this happened that she begins to take steps to cage her dragons. . .which goes as one would expect. The good news is that they are speeding up this story line a lot so maybe it won’t suck as much as it does in the books.

Ahhhh and now we are getting to the good stuff.  We get a little taste of Oberyn’s sharp tongue and get to see how stupid Cersei is. (Seriously. “baby dragons”?  Yeah things grow. . .sooo they are probably not going to always be baby dragons). Also I feel like Varys is pretty openly showing contempt for her (even though she doesn’t notice) and that Tywin also shows that he knows that his daughter is an idiot.  I think I love Oberyn more in the show than I do in the books.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s great in the books too, but Pedro Pascal really brings the character to life.  I find it interesting that Varys seems to dislike Oberyn.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears saying again.  Oberyn is known as a formidable knight.  He’s in King’s Landing with the expressed interest of getting revenge for the murder of his sister and sister’s children.  And when I say murder I mean that his sister’s infant son had his brains bashed in then she was raped by Gregor Clegane while he still had bits of her son’s brain on his hands.  Then her and her daughter was just as brutally murdered as well.  So he’s got an ax to grind and is biding his time.

Finally we see the trial begin.  Jamie fetches Tyrion and is obviously upset that he is escorting his brother to this farce of a trial.  Jamie has followed what is best for his family all his life, but now he can’t do that without hurting someone who not only is family too, but whom he loves just as fiercely. We watch Tommen adorably step down from the trial and then Tyrion becomes the smartass that we know he is.  One by one people give witness to Tyrion’s motivation to kill Joffery and “proof” that Tyrion did it.  Obviously we know that Tyrion didn’t do it (and so does Margaery and her face is great to watch as all this unfolds). Almost everything that is told is the truth, but with a ridiculous spin on it leaving out all the parts that make them look bad. The final nail in the coffin is Shea’s testimony where she states that she knows that Sansa and Tyrion plotted the death of Joffery because she heard them planning.  She also makes it sound as if Tyrion took advantage of her and she wasn’t really just a whore.

Here’s where is gets really good.  Jamie has tried to fix it up so that Tyrion will live no matter what and he tells Tyrion to hold his tongue and ask to be sent to the wall when he is declared guilty.  So of course Tyrion responds to this with the most epic passion filled speech ever known.  Shea has just ripped his heart out so he lets everyone have it. And it is glorious.

He ended this rousing speech by asking for a trial by combat instead of continuing with this joke.  You can see Jamie wanting to throttle Tyrion for doing all this.  All I can say is that Peter Dinklage made it happen.  You can see the anger, the emotion, you want to cry for him, hug him, tell him that he is loved.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You pretty much got it all here.  Just know that in two weeks (maybe three) Tyrion will make it happen once more and people will be cheering all across the lands.

The previews for next week promise a lot of action and perhaps some Dany/Daario sex. Maybe we’ll get to see if Emilia Clarke really did declare that she would do no more nude scenes.

Major Character Deaths: 0 (but it’s not looking good for Tyrion)

Boob Count: 3 pairs

Game of Thrones: First of His Name, Where I write a review incredibly late

awest

We start off the episode with Tommen’s coronation.  How cute is he?  There were a few smiles back and forth between Margaery and him that didn’t go unnoticed by Cersei.  Cersei approached Margaery acting as if she wants to become friends with her and Marge responded with this:

Seriously the look on Margaery’s face when she says all of this is how I feel when I’ve thought of an amazing put down and actually use it (as opposed to thinking of it hours after it was appropriate).

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books Cersei is seriously pissed off that Margaery is the new queen and she’s been pushed aside.  She still thinks of herself as a young, beautiful, desirable creature and doesn’t like to be reminded she is a widowed mother of three.  The sure fire way to make her mad is to bring up the fact that she’s not Queen anymore.  That makes this cutting remark that much more painful.  Also don’t feel sorry for Cersei.  Never feel sorry for Cersei.  I’ve admitted that I like Jamie even post pushing Bran out the window, but Cersei is a worthless c*$#.  Sorry, but she is and just gets worse.

Cut to Mereen and Dany’s council meeting.  Some are advising her to invade King’s Landing and others are not.  Just notice that Jorah seems to know a good bit about Westeros and that he’s acting weird.  This will be important later.

Jorah does deliver news that all the people she has freed are now slaves again and in worse situations then when they started.  She decides to stay in Mereen and rule.  And become a boring weak character for a while.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Jorah was a spy for Westeros for a long time. (They talked about this in the early seasons, but you were probably still trying to figure out who everyone was). Anyway Barristan was on the small council meaning he knows this little factoid.  So yeah. . .stuff happens.

Switch to the Vale and we get to see Lysa Arryn be a super weirdo.  She evidently never learned that you shouldn’t act like a needy smothering girlfriend to keep a relationship healthy.  We also learned that she killed her husband, not the Lannisters, that she lost her virginity to Petyr a long time ago, that she’s an idiot, she’s super paranoid and jealous and that she likes loud sex.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Lysa treats her son in a very creepy manner.  Yes, you’ve seen the breastfeeding and that he likes to throw things/people out the Moon Door, but you don’t know that he needs someone to sleep with every night and since his mother is not otherwise occupied this duty will fall to Sansa and it’ll be more creepy then you can imagine.  Lysa got pregnant by Petyr all those years ago and her dad gave her tea that would make her lose the baby.  Oh and gave her that tea without her knowing what was going on.  Then made her marry a man that, although he was nice, was old enough to be her grandfather.  She definitely got the short end of the stick.

Lastly, Petyr is even a bigger creeper towards Sansa than we’ve seen on screen.  He is always touching her, moving her hair and trying to be alone with her.  So, yay weird pedo sexual tension.

Back to King’s Landing Cersei and Tywin have a heart to heart where they discuss up coming marriages and how they are evidently broke.  Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember this from the books.  Granted the kingdom is broke, but I don’t remember Casterly Rock being destitute.  Anyway this was mostly just a set up for later. Best laid plans and all that you know.

Also we learned The Iron Bank ain’t nothin’ to f^$# with.  They aren’t.  Way more hard core than the Wu Tang Klan.

Oh, and Cersei wants Tyrion to die, but that’s pretty obvious.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

No, you pretty much got this.

 

We have a few couples roaming around the Kingsroad and The Hound and Arya are the most badass.  Arya who has her list of people she plans to kill and The Hound who just desperately wants to protect someone.  He tried helping Sansa, but she was too stupid to realize it and Arya has accepted the help, but has so many trust issues she still thinks he has an ulterior motive.

The Hound hates all knights and what they represent, yet he’s been the most knightly in actions towards the Stark girls.  Well that is unless you remember him splitting Arya’s friend Mycah in half because of Joffery’s lies.  When trying to put together the type of character that would cut a small boy in half and a character that is gentle and protective of girls all I can think is that he’s trying to do better. (Let’s go into my complete made up thoughts for a minute).  Being always with the Lannisters and trying to avoid his insane brother he turned off his emotions and just did what was ordered.  However. then he saw how Ned Stark acted and how his family was treated.  Ned who truly was a knight and lord in every sense of the word.  I would like to think he’s trying to protect the girls in Ned’s place, he just doesn’t know how to not come across as an ass.

OK so that’s all just theory to me, but I also love that he pointed out that the first sword of Braavos wouldn’t have been killed by Meryn Trant.  So maybe I am right about my other theory.

They argue, Arya  tries to stab him with her sword and it doesn’t pierce his armor.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Ahh there’s not a lot that you don’t know except what’s about to happen next. So just keep watching.  Their plot line definitely is progressing unlike other strong female characters I know.

Poor Pod and his attempts to take care of Brienne.  This scene I think was mainly to show the two bonding and to prove to Brienne that Pod really is trying to do the best he can.  I love these scenes, but wonder what the watchlings think of them.  Are they boring?  Funny?  Really they are great, but more to see the book character’s come to life than anything.

What the Watchlings Don’t Know:

Big things are coming up for this pair as well.  The only other thing that you don’t know is that both characters are broken, unloved people that got a taste of happiness only to get put on the road again.  Pod was mistreated all his life until he met Tyrion and Brienne was mocked and scorned her whole life until she met Catelyn and Jamie.

Cersei shows back up trying to make everyone feel sorry for her again.  Here’s the thing she seems to have forgotten though: Her dad ordered his sister and sister’s kids killed.  Then they were sliced in half, head bashed in, or raped.  Yeah that’s not something you’re going to get over with a slightly weepy talk about missing your daughter.  Plus it’s probably going to backfire on you. Just sayin’

What the Watchlings Don’t Know:

Cersei is insane.  Like certifiable. Plus she conveniently forgets about all the horrible things her family has done to others.  Never feel sorry for Cersei.

Finally we get to see what’s going on in Craster’s Keep.  Ferb Jojen still looks like he has a really bad case of the flu, plus that fire can’t be good for his hand.  Oh wait.

The traitor that Bolton sent to the Wall leads an attack on the Keep sneaking off to kidnap Bran.  Jon and his men make short work of the traitors with some graphic violence and it looks bad for Bran and the others.  Then when all looks lost Bran wargs into Hodor.  Yeah, why didn’t he do that before?

I don’t care who you are you have to feel sorry for Hodor when he wakes up and realizes that he’s a murderer. Such a gross thing to wake up to. Seriously he should have warged sooner and avoided some of the death and destruction.

Both the wolves are reunited with their masters and the Night’s Watch burn down Craster’s Keep and all the dead.  The wives/daughters/granddaughters of Craster go their own way.

What the Watchlings don’t Know

OK none of this crap is in the books.  Bran does warg into Hodor some, but just be able to walk again or to be able to see what’s going on in a place that he can’t reach.  Summer does get a little hurt at one point, but Summer and Ghost aren’t captured because they are f-ing direwolves that would rip their captor’s throats out.  Once again– just sayin’.

There was a lot of set up in this episode so just wait until everything comes to fruition.  Lots of drama/violence/surprises. And lets get real, probably lots of sex too.

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 0

Game of Thrones: Oathkeeper. When the readers became shocked and confused.

brienne

This episode started out with Daenerys capturing Mereen in a slightly downplayed manner.  Yeah it was just as boring in the books.  I would like to say that I love Dany, but from here on out in the books I found her story tedious to say the least.  So since we’ve seen them add dimensions to the story lines maybe they will do the same for Dany– or at least speed this process up. Cathy (my blogging partner on these posts) was somewhat disappointed that we didn’t get to see any form of fighting when Daenerys takes over Maureen. I mean, not even a tiny bit. She has unsullied, dragons, Daario…we could have seen just a few people get stabbed or something. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to blame shooting schedule or budget or something. Point is, Daenerys now controls Maureen.

The scene with Grey Worm was nice though.  I really like the actor they picked for him and he brings life to the Unsullied.  Out of all the mistreated characters in the books I always felt sorry for the Unsullied.  For those not in the know, the Unsullied were taken young and taught to fight from a young age.  Some of the things they had to do was raise a puppy then kill it with their own hands, and take a baby from a mother and kill it.  Yeah, you know, nothing that would scar you for life.

She also doled out justice to the Mereen masters and as much as I love Barristan the Bold I side with Dany on the type of justice that was given.

Maybe they can also confirm this aunt/nephew relationship since they spilled the beans on so many other things this episode.  Jon Snow is Rheagar’s son.  It is known.

Cut to Bronn training with Jamie .  I really like Bronn.  In the books he’s very much a secondary character and I like that they combined him with some other characters to make him more memorable on the show.  Bronn laid out some truths that Jamie needed to hear.  Jamie’s and Tyrion’s relationship is one of my favorites.  As much as Cersei hates Tyrion Jamie loves him.  Jamie has been pretty much the only person that Tyrion has always been able to count on.

Which led to this touching scene.  And I’m being serious about that.  This episode showed many times the man that Jamie has become since being released from Catelyn Stark. I really really wish they’d left the “rape” out of last week’s episode.  That is not who Jamie really is.

Tyrion is such a great guy– which makes me believe even more that he’s not really a Lannister.

Next up we see Littlefinger being Littlefinger.  Gah he is such a sleaze. He’s going to marry Lysa aka– trying to figure out how to get in Sansa’s skirts.  He does shed some light on Joffery’s death though and confirms what even the books haven’t confirmed yet.  He had a hand in the murder, but was helping out someone else.  Some one powerful.  Low and behold:

Whaaat??  Once again this is something that I’d suspected/known-ish for a while, but the books hadn’t out and out confirmed it yet. We set up that whole “Clue” post last week thinking that it was going to take a while for the true killer to be revealed and, nope.  You gotta love the Queen of Thorns.  She’s more honorable and more cunning than any Lannister.  And evidently also a ho from her other story that she told Margaery during this stroll.

Meanwhile up on the Wall people are conspiring to do bad things to Jon Snow– between the people that just don’t like him and Locke who is trying to find out where Bran and Rikkon are Jon has danger on all sides, but doesn’t know it yet.  Jon is pretty smart though so I don’t fear too much for him right now.

We also had a scene between Jamie and Cersei showing her for the drunk bitch that she is.  Seriously– WHY did they have Jamie rape her last week??  He is trying to become honorable again and she is on a path in the opposite direction.  Out of all the Lannisters Cersei is the most crazy.  Perhaps it would have been different if her mother had lived and she hadn’t looked up to her father her whole life.

Margaery taking a page from her grandmother’s book visits Tommen at night, which could have been super creepy and gross, but instead showed off her amazing manipulation skills.  She shows Tommen kindness and nurtures his sweet nature.  Way to go Margaery.

In the books Tommen is pretty young.  Younger than he is here, so in this instance I’m really glad they deviated from the books.  I would be super creeped out if he was the kid that he should have been.

Now we come to the good parts.  Jamie and Brienne. Brienne is obviously in love with Jamie, but what they don’t touch on in the show is that Jamie has some not so pure thoughts/feelings about Brienne.  I won’t say he loves her or anything, but she’s definitely helped him to become the better man that he’s turning into. I think both Catelyn Stark and Brienne have reminded Jamie of what it was like when he had honor and he wants to live like that again.  Jamie has had to make so many hard choices in life and I think he wants to choose what is right from now on.

Plus we get to see Pod and Brienne set off together.  This upcoming story line is great. It’s humorous and touching and everything you could hope for.

Love. It.

Now we get our obligatory boob scene and get to see how the mutineers are faring at Caster’s keep.  We also find out that Ghost is being held captive.  Now I don’t remember any of this in the books, but it could be that I’m forgetting something.  I know Ghost was separated from him for a while, but I don’t see him allowing himself to be captured.  Ghost is more of a “rip your throat out” kind of wolf.  This is where the show is deviating pretty strongly from the books, but as we know from this documentary GRRM is overseeing a lot of the show so he has to approve right?

After Summer gets hurt everyone goes on the worst creeping mission ever.  I’m disappointed in Meera– after all she’s supposed to know all about the woods and then goes stomping out not looking where she’s going.  Also lets talk about Jojen.

Cathy says it best:

You know what I don’t understand? Theoretical physics. Know what else I don’t understand? Why Jojen was sweating like it was August in south Texas, when it was -30 out. Yeah, I know he was getting ready to have a green dream, but seriously, why all the sweat? He looked like he was a part of a bad outbreak movie.

Yes!  And NO ONE noticed!  Everyone is going on like normal until he collapses foaming at the mouth.  Come on guys– you weren’t wondering why he was pouring sweat in the snow? We are now to assume that Jon will save Bran and the others when he raids Craster’s Keep, but that is a total deviation from the books.  Yes Sam knew that Bran was alive, but he didn’t tell Jon.  Coldhands (who we haven’t met yet– even though we should have already) made him swear to keep it a secret.

OK now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way let me talk about what the show added that I was confused about while watching the episode, but now am cool with.  We got to see The Others take Craster’s son and turn him into one of them.  At first I thought– “what the crap!? Why did that add all of that?” but the more I thought about it and after a little research (and a friend talking over all of this with me) I realized a few things.

In the books the Others are called “Craster’s Sons” by Craster’s wives, but I always just thought of that as a figure of speech since he gave them up to the Others.  I had assumed they ate the babies or the babies just froze to death. However when you go back and reread some of the passages and pair it with what we saw last night then it appears that this is all Craster’s fault.  HE has been supplying new White Walkers for this huge army of Walkers.

Gilly was crying. “Me and the babe. Please. I’ll be your wife, like I was Craster’s.

Please, ser crow. He’s a boy, just like Nella said he’d be. If you don’t take him, they will.”

 “They?” said Sam, and the raven cocked its black head and echoed, “They. They. They.”

 “The boy’s brothers,” said the old woman on the left.

“Craster’s sons. The white cold’s rising out there, crow. I can feel it in my bones.

These poor old bones don’t lie. They’ll be here soon, the sons.”

Before I had seen this as just superstitious talk of scared Wildlings.  Yes we know there are really White Walkers, but they haven’t been seen for so long that the Wildlings have just made things up about them, or remembered incompletely.  However, after watching this segment of the Walkers turning the babe into one of their own so it will obviously still grow and change in it’s new state, George was telling us all along where the evil was coming from.

So I’m going to throw out a couple of theories and one of them will include a HUGE HUGE book five spoiler, so don’t continue unless you are up to date on the books.

1. Maybe Coldhands is Benjen Stark.  I hadn’t ever thought so, but thought he was an older Stark.  But what if they had tried to make him a Walker (not a wight like the other dead zombie like creatures) and he had been able to slow/stop the process so that now he isn’t human yet isn’t a mindless evil thing.  I’m not stuck on this theory, but I’m interested to see Coldhands whenever he shows up (hopefully they don’t cut him out of the show).

2. When Jon Snow is laying stabbed and dying at the end of the 5th book he begins to feel the cold.  So maybe it’s not his death that he feels coming, but the Others coming to attack the wall and the attack would then distract his attackers and allow the Red Woman (or someone else) to save Jon’s life.  I kinda think he dies all the way here though and the Red Woman brings him back and therefore he’s fulfilled his oath to the Night’s Watch, but these are all just theories.  I can go on and on about my Jon Snow theories.

What did you think?  What are your predictions for next week?  Why the #(@*#! did the previews for next week show Arya stabbing The Hound in the stomach with Needle??

See you next week!

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pair

Game of Thrones, Breaker of Chains: Tyrion in the Courtyard with the Poison

tyrion

We got to see a good many things last night and many scenes that will change the way we think about characters from here on out.  Below are mine and Cathy’s thoughts, suspicions and theories.  Cathy’s words are in normal typeset and mine are in bold.  Enjoy and as always there are spoilers galore (both from the show and from the books– I try to give extra warning for book spoilers).

This season is quickly shaping up to be a gigantic game of Clue. We know the weapon, poison.  We know the where, the wedding reception. We don’t however know the who.

The Suspects:

Tyrion: Cersei had Tyrion arrested at the end of episode two. He handed Joffrey the cup of wine which is presumably where the poison was. Joffrey pointed to him while he was dying, but being one of the only people in Joffrey’s direct line of sight, that’s not unexpected.  My favorite scene from last night’s episode was the scene between Podrick and Tyrion. We now know for sure Tyrion had nothing to do with Joffrey’s poisoning, he says so himself. I believe Tyrion is one of the few characters we can fully believe. Podrick fills Tyrion in on who has been appointed judges for his trial, and confesses that he’s been offered a knighthood if he’ll testify against Tyrion, but staying true to his Lord, Podrick refused. Fearful for what they’ll do to Podrick, Tyrion tells Pod to testify against him, that he doesn’t want Pod to potentially be killed for him.

Cersei has hated Tyrion since their mother died giving birth to him (or did she?  As in perhaps Tyrion was the result of an affair and Tywin– this is a long shot, but I’m still throwing it out there).  As both Cathy and Tyrion pointed out though if Tyrion was going to kill the King he would have done it in a way that didn’t implicate himself.  Tyrion is smarter than that.  Oh and I second the statement that the best part of the episode was the scene between Pod and Tyrion.

Olenna Tyrell: Grannie’s been maneuvering her house up through the ranks. Her house is considerably more important now that her granddaughter married the King, and she helped finance part of the war. Now that Joffrey’s dead, she’s protected her granddaughter from a hellish marriage. The only sticking point is Margaery’s status as Queen. The marriage wasn’t consummated yet, so is Margaery really queen? If Olenna was behind the murder, one would think she would have waited and poisoned Joffrey’s breakfast the next morning.

OK I’m going to disagree a little with Cathy here.  This is who I think killed Joffery (if only there was an envelope full of cards I could check).  She knew what Joffery was and his death BEFORE consummation leaves them in a strong position to negotiate a marriage between her and Tommen.  Margaery was able to marry Joffery because her marriage with Renly wasn’t ever consummated and it would be even creepier than it already is for her to marry Tommen if she’s already had sex.  Of course we haven’t found out exactly who did this in the books yet so it’s anyone’s guess.

 

Oberyn Martell: The Lannisters’ men killed his sister. He made it clear from episode one that he wants revenge for his sister’s death. We learned last night that he studied poisons at the Citadel. Did he use his knowledge to kill Joffrey and avenge his sister? He told Tywin he wouldn’t be that obvious, but Joffrey certainly would be a wonderful way to hit the Lannisters where it hurts. In a surprising turn of events, Tywin offers an alliance to Oberyn; however we never see them agree to it. Did Oberyn accept Tywin’s offer, we’ll have to wait to find out.

Oberyn has a serious ax to grind, but I also don’t believe that he would kill Joffery in this fashion.  I see him more as someone who would derive more pleasure out of stabbing someone through the heart.  Also they Martells hold Cersei’s daughter in Dorne so could inflict more pain that way.

Oberyn 

OK I’m going to add some suspects that Cathy didn’t mention.  

Mace Tyrell: In the books it is implied that the poison was contained in a hairnet that Sansa got from her fool and that the stone with the poison was removed during the wedding feast and slipped into Joffery’s drink.  But what if the poison was in the cup all along, but was covered up by something that had to slowly dissolve?  Mace gave him the cup (in the show– I don’t really remember this from the book, but I might have just forgotten this).

 

Margaery Tyrell: She also knew who Joffery really was and didn’t want to marry him.  I feel like she was at least complicit in his murder even if she didn’t put the poison in the cup herself.  Of course she came out smelling like a Rose no matter how you look at this.

Littlefinger: Varys once said “Littlefinger would burn the kingdom down if it meant he could sit on a throne of ashes.” Petyr wants power, and we know he’s not afraid to play both sides to get it. I’ve always believed he’s a character that should never be ignored. Even his absence in the story is important. He’s ALWAYS up to something. We learned last night he was behind Dontos sneaking Sansa out of the party. How did he know that something would happen at the party to allow for Sansa to escape? I don’t believe for one second he really cares about helping Sansa get to safety. He has a plan to use her in some scheme to help him get closer to the throne.

Littlefinger is someone that I really really dislike.  Every now and then he does something awesome (cause in reality Sansa probably would have died if she had stayed in the capital and then later he will do something with a Moon Door that I also approve of). Mostly everything else that he does is super creepy or to further his own agenda.  The show has touched on it, but he was super duper in love with Catelyn and is now trying to fulfill his fantasies through Sansa. 

Sansa: Joffrey has terrorized her for years. Did she finally snap? No. She’s an idiot. I feel bad for her, but Sansa’s too stupid to have orchestrated the poisoning. If you’ve read the books, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The show makes her look halfway intelligent. The “real” Sansa is a spoiled moron. She’s definitely been used in the plot to kill Joffrey, she just doesn’t realize it.

Seriously she’s an idiot. I think the reason that watchlings don’t release how horrible she is is that it’s hard to convey that those tortured looks she has are because she’s feeling sorry for herself.  Since Arya disappeared she’s spent maybe 30 minutes worried about her and hours and hours blaming her for things.  She was sad about her Dad, Mom and brother, but not too bothered.  She’s weak.  She’s annoying and doesn’t seem like she’s ever going to die.

Is the killer one of these people, a combination of these people, or someone entirely different? One thing’s for sure, it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick.

There is more to the world than that’s going on in King’s Landing. We see Jon taking more of a leadership role at the wall; Arya’s brief feeling of camaraderie towards the Hound has gone; and Daenerys is off freeing slaves. On that note, let’s all give a slow clap to Daario for his sweet moves last night.

 

Yummmmmm. For those of you that don’t know Daario Naharis’s knives have naked women on the hilt and he likes to rub and kiss their breasts which Dany finds sexy.  I can see why she’s attracted to him. Jorah now?  Poor Jorah.

And the only only other thing I can say about Dany is enjoy the story line now because it’s about to get boring. 

Also for all you non-readers out there:

Major Character Deaths: 0

Boob Count: 2 pairs (it seemed like more though didn’t it?)

EDIT!

WARNING– EXTRA SPOILERS

One last thing I forgot to mention.  I was disappointed in the scene where Jamie rapes Cersei.  In the books it does in fact happen much like that except it is consensualJamie has changed a lot since he was captured and then released by the Starks.  This scene with Cersei was kind of a goodbye to his love with her.  Also in the books this happened right when he got back.  Joffery died during his journey with Brienne so there hasn’t been all this tension between him and his family.  That comes later. I just feel like the added rape seriously damages his character.  True he’s already thrown a small boy off a tower, but this has jacked it up a notch.  I actually felt sorry for Cersei and believe me no one should sympathize with Cersei right now.

If “Frozen” Happened In The Real World

frozenposter

Let me preface this with that as far as Disney movies go I think this movie is good.  I didn’t get to go see it in the theaters because another family member took the kids so I saw this for the first time when I bought it on Amazon about a week ago.  Since then I’ve watched it approximately 13098538743029384 times.  OK I might be exaggerating, but it’s been a lot.  There are a few plot holes that I’ve had trouble getting past.

Oh, there’s a bunch of spoilers past this point, just FYI.

1.  OK so we are to believe that Elsa was locked away to learn to “conceal” her powers after Anna’s memory was wiped and although that’s a ridiculously horrible and poorly thought out plan I can buy that.  Crazy parents have done worse.  However, Anna was left to grow up alone and friendless.  THIS is where I have my first issue.  Anna would have been surrounded by daughters of princes, lords, etc. and there’s no way that the King and Queen could have cut all ties with all other royalty around without making some crazy enemies.  Besides the fact that they couldn’t get rid of all the other children that would have flocked around the royal family Anna and Elsa both would have had to have tutors in not only the basic educational needs, but also dance, music and people that would be teaching Elsa to one day be able to run a country.

2. So somehow even though Anna never had any interactions with the outside world she still managed to become a little less stupid version of Sansa Stark.  Like Sansa she entered the world ripe for corruption by those who would want to use her.  At least she didn’t have to see her dad’s head on a stake.

 

She did manage to be a bratty teenager that was so in love with falling in love that she grabbed the first guy that came across her path.  In true bratty teenager form she also pitched a fit in a very public forum when both her and Elsa should have been focusing on showing a united front on what had to be a very fragile kingdom.

Way to make a scene Elsa and Anna.  That crown is secure now right?

3. Speaking of a fragile kingdom, who ran everything between their parent’s death and Elsa’s coronation?  They went down in a shipwreck and we’re to believe that all trade and government just went on with both of the girls locked up in the castle?  Cause I’m sure that none of the townspeople would resent two over privileged princesses that never came out in public or took part in politics.  Russia and France proved that they loved their royalty that lived in their own world, out of touch with reality.  Oh wait.

4.  This kinda bleeds over from #3.  If there hadn’t been a Regent explicitly declared there would have been someone there manipulating their way into power. Think Cersei and Joffery.  Littlefinger and Sansa.  Or in the real world Henry the Eighth and all women.  This point bothers me more than all others.  There is no way either girl wouldn’t have been corrupted and manipulated from the moment their parents went down with the ship.

5.  OK last one– Anna might seriously have been married off to Hans.  Granted it wouldn’t have happened because Anna and Hans decided to, but in a calculated move to solidify the monarchy.  Of course the 13th son of a kingdom might not have the pull for that kind of marriage, but the argument that “you don’t marry someone you just met” is invalid.  Both Anna and Elsa could very possibly have ended up marrying someone they hadn’t met or even disliked (see Marie Antoinette, Henry the Eighth and pretty much every other monarch preceding current times).

Once again– I did enjoy the movie, but I can’t help but think that it would have made a much more interesting movie if some of these plot points had been addressed.