Game of Thrones: The Red Woman. Is (SPOILER) really dead?

OK So no I’m not wondering if Jon Snow is dead. Cause he is, but that’s not’s what is bothering me right now. (Don’t worry Jon Snow people– I’ll come back to this in a bit).

The Wall

They open up the episode at the wall showing Davos finding Jon Snow dead on the snow and quickly he and some other good guys get him into a room where they can watch over him.

Important things going on right here:

  1. Davos saw an image in the snow when they pulled him away. While watching this Sunday I rewound it twice to see the blood again and it definitely looks like a dragon that my kids drew in the snow.
  2. Ghost is still guarding Jon. I think if Jon was beyond hope Ghost would be out searching for his brothers and sister. Now don’t get me wrong– Jon’s definitely dead right this second but once again I’ll come back to that in a bit.
  3. They all verify that Jon is totes dead.
  4. Melisandre begins to doubt herself. She mentions that she saw Jon fighting at Winterfell in her flames, but he’s right there dead on the table. Davos also asks her to do something and she says that she can’t. Now that right there surprised me. My theory has always been that she would resurrect Jon so her despair worried me for a bit.

GHOST and Jon Snow

Note: in the books Bowen Marsh is the one that initiated all the stabby time with Jon, not Alliser Thorne. But he didn’t like him either.

Ramsey Bolton

Yep. Still psycho. Only he would feed his girlfriend to his hounds. Also why isn’t he out looking for Sansa and Theon? Seems right up his alley. My guess is just because the writers didn’t want to explain why Brienne didn’t slit his throat. Because she would have.

But Sansa is away from him now as is Theon. So that’s awesome.

Sansa

I love Theon for trying to protect her, but she’s still sooooo stupid and annoying. She’s the worst in the books and even though they have changed the plot in the show to give her more action she’s still whiny and only thinks of herself. I’m glad she’s accepted Brienne’s pledge now so at least we’ll get to see Brienne and Pod in her scenes.

Also hopefully she won’t trust Littlefinger any more. But she’s stupid so she probably will.

Why did she not remember the words of the oath? Seems like something romantic and exciting that she would have had memorized.

Cersei and Jaime 

Right now all things are awesome with Jaime and Cersei. He’s once again her fighter and her champion. However in the books he had already abandoned her because he had seen how she was just trying to use him. I really hope that they are headed in that direction. Cersei doesn’t really love Jaime, she loves the idea that someone is there that would do anything for her. I want him to find out every nasty thing she has done and hate her for it.

Because as much as Cersei has used Jaime he has done everything she has ever asked out of love and devotion for her.

Margaery Tyrell

Well, she’s still locked up and in a bad situation. Once again they have deviated from the books in this aspect. In the novels she was released pretty quickly because they tortured her accuser who then admitted to having sex with Cersei, not Margaery, and Margaery was released into Sam’s dad’s custody (yes Jon Snow’s Sam).

I’m curious to see where they are going with this. I’m not sure what to think of her situation right now.

Dorne

Yeah I don’t really know what to say about this crap. Maybe the writers just didn’t like writing about this place? Is it not an overall important plot point?

This is not what was happening in Dorne in the books and Doran was super in control of his country and the Sand Snakes. He also was a huge schemer and although he appeared weak at times it was because he was plotting some pretty big crap. So I’m sad this is messed up, but maybe it’ll get better?

 Tyrion and Varys 

Mandatory Tyrion scene, because this episode is light on comedy and they need to remind us that:

  1. Dany’s kingdom is in trouble without her
  2. Tyrion and Varys are both still awesome
  3. Dany needs to hurry on back home ASAP
  4. Someone shady is watching them

Daenery

We are reminded that Jorah is super sick and has a limited time span to help his queen, and he’s on her trail.

She’s not in the best situation either. After letting her captors know who she is they now want to take her to their Khaleesi retirement community that she’s already seen isn’t an awesome place to be.

This is interesting in that we have now moved past the books in her story. So what I see from here on out will be completely new.

I know one thing for sure. She needs to figure out  how to warg into her dragon so she can get back home and take control of her life again. Until she can control Drogon she will not be in control of anything.

Arya

This is another reminder scene. Yes Arya is still alive. Yes she’s still blind. Don’t worry things are about to get super interesting for Arya real quick.

Melisandre

OK we are finally  to the person that I think might have died this episode. We had made it almost this whole episode without seeing any boobs so you know that had to change! So tada!  Here’s the red witch getting ready for bed showing her boobs. Then she takes off her necklace.

Well in the books it explained a lot more that Melisandre had the power to change appearances of people with her magic and it worked as long as they wore a stone. So this does make sense even tough it seems to have come out of no where in this episode because it hasn’t been addressed much before now. So she looks really old and climbs in bed all old and crusty.

So my questions are:

Will she die then? And has she realized how much she’s messed everything up?

Jon Snow

At last!  I told you I would come back to this and here I am. We have a few interesting things happen to Jon this episode with promises of things to come. What am I talking about? Well we had the aforementioned blood dragon in the snow that seems an awful lot like foreshadowing and we have a witch that doesn’t think she can do anything to  save him. I also mentioned that Ghost was seriously protective of Jon’s body.

PrincessBride

So here’s my thought:

I do think that Jon is 100% dead because he needs to die to be released from his oaths to the Night’s Watch. I also had thought that he would be brought back by the red witch, but now that she’s seemingly given up my thought is that he needs to be brought back by the same kind of magic that was used to hatch Dany’s dragons. So when they burn his body– which they will do because–the North–zombies– etc. will he rise from the ashes? It would reinforce even more his Targaryen blood and be a more pure form of magic.

I just really hope we don’t have to wait all season to find out how Jon Snow is returning. Because he is returning. Anyone telling you different is selling something.

 

Game of Thrones: Mother’s Mercy. AKA The crap all your book reading friends have kept a secret from you since you said, “I’m going to start watching Game of Thrones.”

Seriously though all your friends that have read this series and encouraged you to watch the show have been waiting for this moment to see your reaction (well and your reactions to Ned, the Red Wedding, the Purple Wedding, etc). I’m sure you’ve seen all the theories floating around out there of what’s really going on though, but a lot of other things happened before that final scene so let’s get to those first. (BTW if you haven’t watched the season 5 finale– don’t read this. Actually get off the Internet and go watch it or don’t complain about spoilers).

Stannis and Melisandre

We open the episode to Stannis hearing one thing from Melisandre (It’s great you burned the one person that loved you alive!  See the snow melted!) and another from his men (dude, you’re screwed– everyone has bailed on you– including your wife). I don’t know if they had Melisandre purposefully lead him poorly so she could get rid of him or if she’s just off her game now.

Melisandre runs away though after hearing all the bad news– headed back to Castle Black (we don’t know that at first, but that’s where she shows up later) and Stannis keeps with his plan to march on Winterfell. Cause he doesn’t have much choice otherwise.

Once he arrives at Winterfell though he’s not even given an option to lay siege to the castle, but the come out and meet him and slaughter everyone there. Stannis manages to stay alive, but becomes wounded and can’t get away. Abandoned by everyone he appears to have given up. This is how Brienne finds him and gives a very stirring speech about how he killed Renly with blood magic (which he admits to) and then she sentences him to death. It was all very dramatic, but all I could think was kill him and get out of there! It just seemed like a bad idea to be hanging around waiting for Ramsey to find them (which I’d rather get killed by Brienne than tortured and killed by Ramsey Snow, so he had that going for him.

Differences from the book:

Stannis didn’t burn his daughter, his wife didn’t hang herself, they are in fact back at Castle Black all nice and cozy with Melisandre. Stannis is buried in snow drifts, but isn’t doing too shabby by this point and is working out a plan to take Winterfell (where there is a limited amount of food and too many people there to keep fed for very long).

Jon Snow

Jon has a nice touching talk with Sam (come on– that’s a bad sign by itself– nothing good comes out of happiness in this world). He tells Sam all about what he saw at Hardhome and how he knows everyone at Castle Black hates him right now. Sam talks him into sending him to Oldtown with Gilly to become a Maester. It makes a ton of sense, but just so you know– in the books Sam is long gone by this point. Jon sent Sam to Oldtown just for this purpose with Gilly, Mance Rayder’s baby (she had to leave hers behind), and Maester Aemon (who died as soon as he reached Braavos and heard about the dragons– which was a super sad part of the books). But he’s now at least headed in the direction he was in the books.

Davos is trying to get help for Stannis (who he doesn’t know has been defeated). But then all of a sudden he knows they’ve been defeated because Melisandre shows up at the wall and even though she doesn’t say anything– it’s obvious everyone is dead.

Then Olly shows up and says that one of the Wildlings knows where his Uncle Benjen is and he needs to come talk to him. Other brothers back him up, but it turns out they were just looking to stab him a bunch. Olly delivers the last blow and Jon Snow falls back on the snow with blood pouring out of his back. (Please read this for some reasons that this isn’t the worst thing in the world– probably).

Differences from the book:

First off Melisandre, Stannis’ wife and Shireen stay at the Wall the whole time and she’s been warning him that something was going to happen and to keep Ghost close. In the books Ghost is locked up in Jon’s room so that he doesn’t fight with the other Warg’s animals so that’s where he is right now. Also Olly doesn’t exist, but his steward is a gay male prostitute named Satin, who doesn’t betray him at all. Other than that he totally gets stabbed a bunch and it looks like he might be dead.

Sansa

Sansa manages to escape her room to put the candle in the tower to call for help (which she manages to do just after Brienne turns away from watching), but drops her corkscrew on the way out of her room. It might just be me, but that looks like a handy weapon to keep a hold of. Myranda finds her wandering about and threatens her with a bow and arrow that the only part of her that is needed is her reproductive organs. Right before Myranda shoots Reek (aka Theon) pushes her to the side and before she can then attack him Theon pushes her over the wall where she falls to her death. (Yay Theon!)

They hear Ramsey’s return and begin to panic so of course go to the edge of the castle and jump into a snow drift– as you do. Cause that’s not a bad idea at all.

Differences from the book:

Well as you know the biggest one is that Sansa is way far away in the Eyrie, but Theon does help save the fake Arya from Ramsey Bolton and does jump off the castle into a snow drift. He breaks his ankle in the process, but gets picked up by some of Stannis’ crew (who also have his sister) and he begins to become himself again.

Sansa and Theon from episode 5x 10.

Arya

Meryn Trant shows us that he’s an even bigger scumbag than we first expected and disguised as a child prostitute she murders him violently. She’s caught by Jaqen H’ghar when she’s putting the human mask back and it appears that he kills himself to atone for her actions. The girl then turns into Jaqen and Arya begins to pull the faces off of the body until she gets to her own. Then she goes blind. My theory on what we just saw there is that he never drank the poison, but gave it to her and that was all an hallucination.

Differences from the book:

Ahh this is all out of order, but she does kill Meryn Trant and she does go blind, so just roll with what is going on. It’s mostly correct.

Jamie and Bronn

The Dornish people are once again poorly written and overly sexualized. Jamie admits to Myrcella that he’s her father and she’s says, ” Oh I’m totes cool with that dad– I think it’s awesome you had sex with your twin sister” or something like that. And then she dies. Cause that’s what people do in this show. She was killed by the goodbye kiss with the same poison that Bronn was infected with. We then see her killer take the antidote for herself– all while all of the sand snakes are in see through dresses– because why not? Boobs.

Differences from the books:

Too many to list– none of this crap happened.

Meereen 

Grey Worm is wearing adult diaper pants and they all make the best decisions ever made in the history of this show (which can be scary as I said earlier). Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei will stay behind and rule in Dany’s stead and Mormont and Daario will go out to search for their lost queen. There is a lot of snark and awesome one liners here. I think Dany will be happy when she gets back. Tyrion watches them ride away and then all of a sudden Varys shows up! He shows that he has more things up his sleeve. This storyline is going swimmingly– which once again makes me nervous.

With the Direwolf CGI team drastically underutilized, we have only Drogon left to properly express our collective exhaustion with this season of Game of Thrones. 

Go away Mom! I’m sleeping!

Drogon is hurt and Dany is clueless how to control him (come on and warg!) so she goes for a walk after giving up on him (that’s a good idea right?) While on her walk a bunch of Dothraki surround her. Dothraki who for some reason are behaving more like American Indians from old movies than the nomadic people of previous seasons, but oh well.

Differences from the books:

Tyrion isn’t around yet in this capacity, and Dany starts her period– and has less clothes on. Other than that it’s about right.

Cersei

She has finally given in and “confessed” to some of her crimes in hopes that she’ll be released. She denies the others so she will still have to go to trial. And then the High Sparrow drops the bomb that she’s going to have to walk back to the Red Keep, naked, shaved, and doing a serious walk of shame.

They then use this time to show her naked a bunch– oh and to show a bunch of other people naked. Because it’s HBO and that’s what they do. (To be fair that all happened in the books too). The nuns evidently don’t own scissors so give her a rather painful razor cut (I also get my hair cut with a razor, but it tends to turn out better than this).

After a very embarrassing and painful walk she finally ends up at the Red Keep where she does get covered up, but she has to face her enemies naked and vulnerable. This is going to be something that will be hard for her to get over. The big thing you need to notice though is the new member of the Kingsguard. That would be Ser Robert Strong who has vowed to not speak until all the Grace’s enemies are defeated, but in reality it’s the Mountain in zombie form. He’s been resurrected by Qyburn and is their (his and Cersei’s) secret weapon.

Differences from the book:

Not much.

 So we have so many unanswered questions that won’t be answered until next year– or if by some miracle GRRM finishes book 6 before the new season. Riiiiiight.

Game of Thrones: Hardhome. Did they really just confirm [SPOILER]??

Well we ended last week with Jorah delivering his gift to Dany and her not really knowing what to do with him. It looks like right now not much has changed in that aspect.

Dany and Tyrion

We open up this episode with Dany questioning Tyrion about why she shouldn’t just kill him right now (which she has a point) and asking Tyrion what he thinks she should do with Jorah (who she told she’d kill if he came back).

Tyrion points out that he’s kill more Lannisters than anyone else she knows and that he knows more about her than she probably knows about herself. I’m glad that Dany seems to be impressed with this.

This right here is a complete departure from the books (at least as far as he’s written so far), but it’s something that the books have been working toward. In the books right now Tyrion is a slave right outside Mereen who later frees himself and escapes to hide in a mercenary war camp– all the while waiting to get to meet Dany.
Dany on the other hand is out in the wilderness with Drogon who swooped into the fighting pits to eat some easy prey and she jumped on his back to try to save him from the people that wanted to kill him. Now she’s abandoned in the wilderness unable to control her dragon (which I’m pretty sure Tyrion knows the secret to this–which I’m also pretty sure is warging to control them like the Starks do to their wolves) and on her period. (Yep totally on her period– which is worth mentioning because she was told that would never happen again after she sacrificed her baby to save Drogo).

OK so all that about the dragon and the fighting pits might happen next week and if it does I apologize for the spoilers, but I’m really not sure where the writers are headed right now. Dany meeting Tyrion and actually getting advice from someone who has run Westeros before though is a great development. He knows all the houses and how they will react to her and he knows all the ways that she could take over that part of the world. Up to now she’s been getting advice from old warriors who were never politicians or people that have never been to that part of the world. I can’t wait to see what Tyrion makes of the politics of Mereen and how long he comes to the same conclusion I did— the dragons need to be seen and feared. Without her dragons she has no power.

Needless to say though Tyrion and Dany working together is going to be something amazing to watch.

Oh and Jorah is sad and gets banished–rubs some on his greyscale and then returns to the fighting pits. I’m not sure what his play is here, but I’m curious as to why he did this.

Cersei

The Queen is locked away without food or water until she confesses. We see her get struck across the face with a wooden spoon when she refuses to do so. She finally gets to hear the charges against her (fornication, treason and incest– not far off the mark there) and told that none of her family is coming to save her. Not even Jaime (remember– as Tyrion left he told Jaime that Cersei was having sex with everyone she could and he can’t get that out of his mind. Of course in the show he’s in Dorne, but still not racing back to her.

She rounds out this episode by licking water off the nasty floor. So things are going great for her.

Arya

Arya is working on her lying skills and is telling Jaqen all about her life at the canals. She makes an adorable oyster saleswoman. She is being given her first job in this new role and is figuring out what she’s supposed to do. She’s been given the job of killing an insurance salesman who isn’t paying out to widows.

This right now is going along pretty evenly with the books. Except instead of Lana of the Canals she’s Cat of the Canals and is given the same task, but told it has to look like he just died. It cannot look like murder at all. I liked that she was Cat in the books because is spoke to her life with her mother as well as her new found ability to warg into animals besides her wolf. Also they aren’t mentioning that she’s having wolf dreams every night and that her connection with her wolf back in the Riverlands is growing stronger. I really wish they would touch on the whole warging thing more because I feel like that’s going to be important later on. . .but I’m not a writer for the show so. . . .

Sansa and Theon/Reek

Sansa confronts Theon about him telling on her. Theon is 100% Reek in this scene, but she manages to find out that Bran and Rickon really aren’t dead. Theon lets it slip, but runs away when he realizes what he’s admitted to. Hopefully this means that he’s finally working his way out of Ramsey’s control. Maybe. Hopefully.

In the books he’s cowed still by Ramsey, but with the arrival of the outsiders that have come for the wedding Theon is given a little more status since the guests expect to see Theon the prince there not Reek the servant. The storyline that I’m really sad they’ve left out is that Mance wasn’t really killed at the wall, but a wildling called Rattleshirt was and Mance has taken Rattleshirt’s place with the help of magic from Melisandre. She then changes his appearance again and is sent to Winterfell as a traveling minstrel and his “sisters” aka other wildling women meant to look like regular camp followers. They are sent to break “Arya” out and get Theon to help with this. I’m really sad they left all this out because it creates some warm feelings towards Melisandre– who hasn’t needed any up to now and it shows the ingenuity of the wildlings around the Boltons.

The Boltons

They are discussing Stannis and his plans and Ramsey offers to take 20 men out into the snow to take down Stannis. Lets just say they are both insane and horrible people and then just move on from this right now. I’m sure it will be gross and graphic later on.

The Wall

So we see Gilly and Sam being all awkward and post coital, but then Olly manages to come in and be Debbie Downer. He expresses his doubts about what Jon is doing and his hatred for the Wildlings. Olly is a new character and I really don’t know why there is such an emphasis on his character unless it’s just to remind you that the Wildlings aren’t all nice people and they’ve done horrible things.

Meanwhile Jon has landed at Hardhome with Tormund to try to negotiate with the Wildlings there to come back and help the Night’s Watch hold the Wall. Evidently Rattleshirt (aka Lord of Bones) is the leader of this group and he doesn’t want anything to do with the new arrivals (remember I mentioned him earlier and how he was killed by Melisandre). Welp he keeps insulting Tormund so Tormund takes his staff from him and beats him to death with it. All the Wildlings doubt Jon’s word, but eventually everyone but the Thenn’s agree to go with Jon and they very very slowly start getting on boats.

They load up a good number people and then suddenly the wights attacked the walls and for some reason instead of loading the boats faster they stood around and stared at the skeletal beings that were breaking down the walls. They move from staring at them to fighting them which does about as much good (once again why are they not sticking people into boats as fast as possible?).

Then all of a sudden the White Walkers themselves show up and Jon gets into a fight with one that looks like it’s not going to end well for Jon when a theory from the books is finally confirmed in that although all other blades have shattered against the White Walkers Jon’s holds up. It not only holds up it kills the Walker and turns the tide of the battle.

The reason this is true is because Jon’s sword is Valyrian steel and forged with magic from Ancient Valyria as well as dragon’s breath (dragon steel is another name for it– which sounds familiar like dragon glass you could say). Then as the people load the last of the ships that are able to escape Captain Barbossa  the Night’s King (aka the head White Walker) shows up and tells the boys to take a walk. The furious onslaught of the undead is more than the remainder can handle and the battle is soon lost. The Night’s King then reanimates all the dead and Jon stares on in horror from his (painfully slowly) retreating boat.

So this doesn’t happen at all in the books. He does send people to Hardhome to try to save them and bring them back to the Wall, but he doesn’t go himself. Also in the books the whole Valyrian steel theory hasn’t been tested yet, but Sam suspects that it will work. I’m pretty sure this was an interlude for everyone watching to allow them some action in a otherwise battle light season. I do question the wight and White Walker’s lack of fear of fire. In the books and the show they have been scared or at least repelled by fire, but aren’t phased at all by it this go round.

There are a lot of revelations this episode, fan theories proven right and fan desires made true. I have to say even though I don’t always support their departures from the books, it is making it an interesting watch.

Game of Thrones: The Gift. Life after Sansa’s Wedding Night.

Everyone was in an uproar after last week’s episode that showed Sansa’s wedding night so thankfully no one else gets married this week, but we do get to hear Dany plan her own up coming nuptials.  That should be a fun time too right?

So this season we’ve had a lot of misdirection with the episode names (Kill the Boy, Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken, etc) and this one has a few meanings as well. On one hand we have Jorah taking his gift to his queen, we have Dany giving the gift of the fighting pits to her people, and lastly in the books Jon offered “The Gift” or an area of land between the wall and Winterfell to the Wildlings who wanted to come over and down. They would have to answer to Winterfell and the Seven Kingdoms, but they wouldn’t have to worry about White Walkers. So although all the Watchlings out there probably assume this title is talking about Jorah giving over Tyrion, it’s totally derived from that 5 minutes you see Jon and try to remember what he’s doing right now.

The Wall

Speaking of Jon we see him saying his goodbyes so he can go off and try to talk the rest of the Wildlings into either settling in the Gift or populating the abandoned castles along the wall to try to fight against the White Walkers. The Wildlings aren’t all crazy about this idea and neither are the men of the Night’s Watch. It’s very important you remember that they are super unimpressed by that and think Jon a traitor for what he’s doing. It plays a big role in things to come.

We also see Maester Aemon playing with Gilly’s baby and confusingly talking about his baby brother Egg (who later became King). You can tell Sam in worried about Aemon and it looks to be his last days. This is yet another departure from the books. In the books Jon send Maester Aemon and Sam off to the Citadel with their stories of White Walkers (and for Sam to become a maester to replace Aemon) and switches Gilly’s baby with Mance Rayder’s kid. Gilly takes this other baby off to safety with Sam and Aemon and Sam plans on telling his parents that her baby is his bastard. Gilly is heartbroken to leave her child, but eventually bonds with the other baby and the eventually bonds with Sam numerous times as well. Aemon does die in the books, but he does so on the journey while in Braavos (where Arya kills one of the men from the Night’s Watch for abandoning Sam). Sam thinks he died because the Wall and the cold were keeping him alive.

“He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch is ended.”

So instead of taking an epic journey Aemon just dies (in the books he is super upset that he died before reaching Dany. He heard about her during the journey and he wants to tell her things about her family– I think he wants to tell her how to control her dragons). Sam and Gilly just have sex (in the most realistic sex scene yet in the series) and Ghost for some reason isn’t with Jon (but he saves Sam’s life which is awesome).

Sansa

Sansa had a rough week to say the least. Last week we saw her wedding night raping and evidently the fun hasn’t stopped for her. She’s being kept a prisoner with no contact with anyone besides Theon. In an act of desperation she gets Theon’s help signalling that old woman that offered her help before. The thing she doesn’t know is that Theon is 100% scared of Ramsey and instead of going and lighting a candle like Sansa asked he went straight to the Bastard and told on her. Which didn’t go quite so well for the old lady.

Sansa and Ramsey walk around the castle discussing their future– or really just discussing Ramsey’s future as the Lord of Winterfell. I have to admire Sansa’s guts at pointing out the obvious, but she’s crazy. You don’t call Ramsey Snow Bolton a bastard to his face. She’s given him something to think about though even if she’ll definitely pay for it later. (She did manage to grab a weapon for later on this walk about– but will she be able to use it?)

Ramsey: Call me Bastard one more time!

Seriously though– I’m pretty sure she just guaranteed a pregnant woman’s death. Do you think the Frey’s will be cool with it when it’s one of their own?

Sansa: Yeah, about him. . .I didn’t like him either.

After viewing Ramsey’s work on the old lady help I think Sansa is finally realizing what kind of person she married. As much as I cannot stand Sansa in the books and wish that she’d been killed off in place of any of the other Starks, I have to say she’s much more in control of herself on the show than in the books. In the books she’s just concerned with what is happening to her and where her next lemoncake is coming from. Of course she’s also not married to Ramsey so she has that going for her.

Stannis

Stannis is stuck in the snow trying to march on Winterfell and losing people by the day. Either deserting or dying from lack of heat and food. He’s losing before he’s even started and he can’t go back to the Wall because he will just be stuck there. Defeated. Melisandre states that she knows how to take Winterfell and that all they need to do is sacrifice someone with King’s blood. Which just happens to be his daughter who she wants to burn alive. Yeah totes sounds like good idea. I love Stannis for not only rejecting this idea but sending the Red Woman away after she suggests it. It truly is a despicable plan (and not at all in the books).

In the books she’s wanting to burn Mance’s baby which is why Jon sends the baby away from the wall. Melisandre really is a horrible person, but she might play a role in helping Jon with all those people that think he’s a traitor now so I don’t wish her dead. Yet.

Jorah

Jorah and Tyrion manage to get sold together (after some quick action on Tyrion’s part) and are headed to the fighting pit of Mereen (you know the pits that Dany just opened back up under the condition that no slaves would be used. . .yeah about that).

In the books Tyrion actually saves Jorah here. Jorah is in a somewhat in a catatonic state at this point and Tyrion is being sold with another dwarf  Penny. (Be super glad they cut the whole Penny and her dog and pig show out of the series). He says that Jorah plays the bear in the act and all good acts must have a bear. They also don’t get sold into the fighting pits, but Tyrion ends up there later on and gets saved at the last minute by Dany (it’s more complicated then that, but pretty much that’s what happens).

We see Dany getting some lovin’ time with her man Daario who she claims she cannot marry because she has to marry the Master from Mereen for political purposes. Let me say though that Daario has the right idea about killing all the masters and showing people what’s up. If she did marry Daario they would make a pretty BA team. She has become too careful (and gotten a rather odd wig too).

Now we have come to a meeting between Jorah and his queen. In a scene copied from Gladiator they are all fighting in front of the queen and Jorah realizes it and runs out to fight too. I’m pretty sure Russell Crowe was in the group of fighters, but Jorah manages to kill them all. Dany is shocked and appalled by this sight and obviously is having second doubts about opening the fighting pits again (as she should). Jorah reveals himself to her at the end and before she can have him removed he tells her he has a gift for her. On cue Tyrion runs out and announces he is the gift. When asked he proclaims himself Tyrion Lannister. Oh you know just the son  of the man that ordered the slaughter of your family. She seems to take it like you’d expect.

Queen of Thorns

The Queen of Thorns and the High Sparrow have words together. He seems to genuinely like her and spars verbally with her for a while. She can’t figure him out though and doesn’t exactly win this exchange. This of course frustrates her and she is obviously trying to figure out a way to bring down the High Sparrow.

She meets with Petyr who tempts her with a deal to take down the Lannisters. He’s playing all sides to make sure that he has an agreement with the winning party. . .no matter who that is.

Cersei

Well, well, well. She’s still oblivious as to what is going on with the church and thinks everything is going her way. After Tommen threatens to go talk to the High Sparrow to get his wife freed Cersei steps in tells Tommen that she’ll go on his behalf to try to get her freedom.

She does visit the High Sparrow and Margeary as well. She’s super smug about what’s going on with Margeary and obviously thinks that everything is going her way. Well that is until she starts talking to the High Sparrow. He tells her about how Lancel came to them broken and slowly unburdened himself to the church. He told them about the horrible things that he did with Cersei and that gives them grounds to arrest her as well. Yeah she tries the same reasoning that Margeary did and it gets her just as far.

In the books Cersei’s plan to get rid of Tommen’s bride is much more complicated and it looks like she has framed Margeary successfully until the men she had swear that they had sex with Margeary were tortured until they admitted they were lying. I do hope they keep the punishment the same in the show as in the books though. Let’s just say that it’s very very satisfying. Plus boobs.

Dorne

Back in Dorne Myrcella doesn’t want to leave because she loves her betrothed and wants to marry him. Jamie doesn’t quite know how to handle her. Bronn mocks and taunts the Sand Snakes in their cell which is amusing until one of them feels the need to make sure we see some breasts this episode. It’s totally unnecessary and ridiculous. All of you people that were up in arms last week about Sansa should be kicking up a fuss about the show’s use of naked women to keep viewer’s interest. I don’t need to see someone naked every five minutes to keep my attention. Bronn of course was poisoned by his cut and after boobs were seen he receives the antidote. Because boobs. I don’t know this whole scene is confusing. But there are boobs so I guess we’re not supposed to question it.

On the bright side– no rapes this week!  Plus Cersei is getting a taste of her own medicine so it’s almost a cheerful episode even if we did lose a main character.

Game of Thrones: Sons of the Harpy. When Cersei Screws Herself for a Change.

Jaime and Bronn

Once again we are in uncharted territory. In the books Jaime is off being an interesting character  a peacemaker for his King and here we see him making moony eyes at Tarth and explaining that he’s doing all this for his “niece” and to avoid a war. Book Jaime would have also done everything he could to avoid war, but he didn’t do this. Bronn was off killing off his wife’s family so that she would inherit and although I loved that about him he makes a good sidekick for Jaime’s adventures.

Their stealth mission is all for nothing though because they are not only found out, but they also kill a bunch of people while doing so. I wonder if this is meant to replace the scene where Myrcella’s Kingsguard was killed and she lost an ear. I could see that, but I also have a feeling that there will be a lot of blood spilled before Jaime leaves Dorne and probably just as awesomely as it is in this episode.

and who would that be?

Cersei

Cersei is busy thinking she’s super smart. She sends off daddy Tyrell after refusing his loan of gold. He’s to negotiate with The Iron Bank to get a better rate for the money they have loaned The Seven Kingdoms. The Iron Bank is kinda like borrowing money from a loan shark– that offered reasonable rates. It’s all cool as long as you’re paying it back, but if you decide not too then they break your legs. Or kill you.

She’s obviously trying to separate the Tyrells for her next move. Reinstating the Faith Militant. She sees this as a totally awesome idea. They can punish people who sin and she won’t be expected to save them. She then sets up the Tyrells for their fall. She’s not really thinking this through though. A church that is that upset about gays and fornicators probably isn’t going to be cool with a girl that cheated on her husband with her brother. Incest is totes not cool either.

Her cousin that is also had an affair with is now sporting a cool scar (ouch) and arrests Loras for his indiscretions. Yep this is going to go great Cersei.

The new King and Queen

Margaery is incensed at the actions of the church and gets Tommen to confront his mother to have Loras released. In response Cersei sends Tommen to confront the church (which if she knew what she had really created she would know that’s a horrible idea) and he isn’t allowed to talk to the High Sparrow. Tommen then learns of what happens when your wife asks for something and you don’t deliver.

Stannis

Stannis’ weirdo wife talks to Stannis about how much she dislikes Jon Snow and how gross she finds her daughter. I don’t like the Red Woman, but I am glad she stood up for Shireen.

Shireen goes to see her father later and he speaks to her of his childhood and is much more personable than he ever was in the books. He talks about how he’s proud of her and how she contracted greyscale. I have to say he moved up a few pegs in my book from this speech. He’s still an ass, but a little bit less of one.

Jon Snow

Jon is faced with having to ask Roose Bolton for help even though Roose is the one responsible for Robb and Catelyn’s deaths and so many of Jon’s other friends. He does the honorable thing of course and signs the letter.

Then in comes Melisandre to make things super uncomfortable. She asks Jon to march south to Winterfell with Stannis to help with the siege there. He states again that he’s of the Night’s Watch now and not meant to take part in the wars of the realm. Even though a creeper is asking I’m sure he’d love to go rip Roose Bolton’s throat out. She then gets uncomfortably close and undresses herself. Jon seems to be falling for it– and I for one didn’t like how far he went along with it before stopping it. The big take away from that interaction though is the statement that she made that he could cast shadows. So she sees that there is something powerful inside of Jon Snow. It is somewhat a confirmation for all of us R+L=J shippers and maybe proof that she has begun to see him in her fires now.

Because he’s totally Lyanna’s kid

Sansa

She’s walking around the crypts lighting the candles talking to Petyr about her family and he offers the second R+L=J clue of the evening talking about how Rhaegar chose Lyanna at the tournament at Harrenhall. Sansa then responded with the party line that Lyanna was kidnapped and raped, but Sansa is an idiot so what does she know.

Petyr does reveal that he has somewhat of a plan to bring down Roose Bolton and warns Sansa to not trust any of them and to use Ramsey. I wonder if Petyr really is so clueless as to what kind of boy Ramsey Snow Bolton is. Roose is cunning and dangerous, but Ramsey is batsh*t crazy. Roose skins his victims in private while Ramsey does even worse things behind closed doors.

First of all–gross and secondly– pretty sure you’re already married Sansa.

The Sand Snakes

If you haven’t picked up on it they are all warriors. So in the books there are tons more of these women and they are all of Oberyn’s bastard daughters. They do try to rise up, but the Prince of Dorne crushes them and finally explains his true plans for revenge. It looks like they are taking a bloodier and different course. But who knows Jaime’s story and the Sand Snake’s story is just starting.

Jorah and Tyrion

Jorah is still trying to find his way and Tyrion is now trying to make the best of this situation. I do love that Tyrion throws it in Jorah’s face that he’s taking Tyrion to the same place that he was trying to go himself. I do think Tyrion would be good for Dany, but even in the books I doubted her ever trusting him. I do wonder if he ends up helping her with her dragon problem and winning her trust that way though. That’s just my theory.

Dany and Co.

Dany is still trying to figure out this ruling thing– evidently it’s still hard, but Barristan distracts her with a story about Rhaegar that once again show that he’s not this rapist warmonger that we were led to believe, but that he might truly be a super duper nice guy. Say a guy that would run off with a girl from the North and have a baby with her.I mean– sounds like that’s a possibility.

They then take another turn from the books and have the Sons of the Harpy attack the Unsullied to which Barristan runs to help and help he does. But with very sad results. Yes he kills way more people than you’d expect and appears to save Grey Worm’s life. However that only results in the loss of his own and Grey Worm seems to be dying as well. I’m assuming they are doing this to shake up this story line and if it makes Dany less boring I’m all for it even though I’m super sad that Ser Barristan had to die to achieve this.

So just in case I didn’t do a good job explaining it– I found this handy dandy explanation on Tumblr of all the Rhaegar and Lyanna theory confirmations:

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Game of Thrones: High Sparrow. The one where they throw the books out the window– like Bran.

This week’s episode shows us what they meant when they said they were changing things from the books. They totally weren’t kidding about that.

Arya

She is striving to become no one yet she is holding onto her anger and her past. She continues her prayers and her hoard of treasures that she gathered since her escape from King’s Landing. Jaqen H’ghar is very mysterious here talking about how A Man behaves and who A Man is. I feel like I should start talking like that. “A Woman needs you to take out the trash.” That works right?

There is a young blind girl– or what appears to be a young blind girl who works there who begins to hit Arya when she questions her. Before Arya can kill her though Jaqen points out to her that Arya cannot become a faceless man while still holding on to her name. This leads Aray to throw away all her belongings– well all of them but Needle which she stashes in a crevice.

I’m so glad they left this scene in– in fact I’m going to just quote the book:

“It’s just a stupid sword,” she said, aloud this time…
… but it wasn’t.
Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell’s grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan’s stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow’s smile.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows

I feel like if she had given up Needle that she would have been lost for good. One other thing that the show hasn’t done well with Arya is show that she’s still having wolf dreams. This whole time she’s been living through her wolf at night– seeing what she sees and killing with her. Unlike Sansa, who lost her wolf, Arya is still connected to the North through her wolf. And through Needle.

Later on Jaqen takes her to learn how to clean the dead and starts her on her journey to become a faceless man. Which is important too, but not as many feels as the scene with Needle.

Margaery and Tommen

First of all– gross. If we want to cover departures from the books this is one of those. In the books Tommen is a whopping 8 or 9 years old and his favorite thing to do is stamping his royal seal on documents. So obviously they don’t consummate their marriage. Actually Cersei tries to frame Margaery later on in the books for cheating on Tommen. She assumes that an older woman would have a sexual appetite and although she might be right– it back fires on her just a bit. So although some of the resulting scenes are hilarious after their wedding night all I could think was– wow that’s disgusting. I know in the show he’s older, but still not that much older.

Margaery is an amazing manipulator though. She takes Tommen’s virginity and then pushes all the right buttons to begin to push Cersei out of the way. Cersei tries to do the same to Tommen the next day, but he turns it around on her. He’s begun talking about sending her away and that scares Cersei more than anything. Sorry mom– I’m pretty sure that the carrot is going to do a lot more than the stick in this instance. And once again even that analogy grosses me out. He’s a little boy.

Cut to Cersei interrupting Margaery talking about all the sex that she had last night with her child husband. Other than the child molestery comments Margaery is perfection. She issues barb after barb in Cersei’s direction. She mentions over and over again how old Cersei is and how she isn’t of any importance anymore. Well played Margaery, well played. Even if you did just have gross sex.

Disgustingly well played

Reek

It rhymes with meek. And grossed out. Poor Theon. The changes to show from the books have actually been in Theon’s favor– I hope for Sansa’s sake that it continues that way.

Sansa

Littlefinger has arranged for Sansa to marry Ramsey Snow Bolton and then stands uncomfortably close to convince her to go through with it. The only thing I can hope is that his speech about avenging her family means that he’s going to take the part of Lord Manderly from the books and is really plotting against the Boltons. After all Roose Bolton had a big hand in killing Caitlin Stark– the woman he truly loved.

This is the first huge departure I’ve seen this season from the books. In the books the Lannisters send “Arya Stark” to marry Ramsey Bolton. The Arya they have is a childhood friend of Sansa though that is just pretending to be Arya. Horrible. horrible things happen to this pretender and her situation leads Jon Snow into making decisions that are detrimental to his health. So I’m curious to see where they are going with this.

But in the show Sansa ends up back at Winterfell and Ramsey’s bitches (his term for them) look on– knowing what her fate will be if she marries Ramsey.

Ramsey and SansaSneak peek from tonight’s episode on Game of Thrones by tvafterdark

Pod and Brienne

We get to hear more of their back stories and we see why these two are how they are. Brienne has been horribly mistreated all her life because of her size and build. Brienne was loyal to Renly because of his actions towards her and I think we all can empathize with that sentiment.

Pod was similarly saved by the Lannisters because of his heritage (Pod is the relative of Ser Ilyn Payne– the King’s Justice who in the books received the Stark’s Valyrian steel sword, Ice. Until it gets melted down into 2 swords that is). He talks of his time with Tyrion with fondness as he’s one of the few  people that has seen Tyrion for what he is worth.

This was a nice scene for all the feels– and to keep us from forgetting about these two.

i can’t get this line out of my head and I kinda keep crying about it

Jon Snow

He’s now the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and is still receiving pressure from Stannis to take Winterfell. Stannis then announces that he is going to march on Winterfell and they discuss the fate of the Wildlings. I have to say I was glad when he left though and he talked to Davos. Davos has a similar sense of honor, but with a pirate/smuggler feel to it and I feel like this is the first real conversation Jon has had with any of Stannis’ camp.

We are mostly on par with what happened in the books here with just a little less detail. This is one of the stories that I don’t understand why they are speeding up. Unless it’s just because the scenes at The Wall are dark and depressing.

Jon later splits up duties assigning a few menial duties and naming Ser Alliser first Ranger. He then tries to assign one of the broken down tower to Lord Janos Slynt. Slynt refuses which doesn’t go quite like he expected it to. Jon beheads him there in the yard for all to see. But really what other choice did he have? Here are some more book excerpts to explain the situation better:

Alliser Thorne smiled a thin smile, his black eyes fixed on Jon. At another table, Godry the Giantslayer began to laugh. “As you will.” Jon nodded to Iron Emmett. “Please take Lord Janos to the Wall— ”

and confine him to an ice cell , he might have said. A day or ten cramped up inside the ice would leave him shivering and feverish and begging for release, Jon did not doubt. And the moment he is out, he and Thorne will begin to plot again . And tie him to his horse , he might have said. If Slynt did not wish to go to Greyguard as its commander, he could go as its cook. It will only be a matter of time until he deserts, then. And how many others will he take with him?

“— and hang him,” Jon finished

Of course that’s not exactly how it ended:

“He would not dare to hang me. Janos Slynt has friends, important friends, you’ll see …” The wind whipped away the rest of his words.

This is wrong , Jon thought. “Stop.” Emmett turned back, frowning. “My lord?”

“I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.”
“Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out. The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter.

Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw.

Jon really shows off how perfect he is from here on out. Which of course bodes well right?

I totally wouldn’t want to cut someone’s head off.

The High Sparrow

The High Septon is drug out of a brothel naked and made to walk back in front of everyone nude. He goes to complain to the small council and Cersei sees it as an opportunity to put someone in her debt into the High Septon’s place. So she goes to find the “High Sparrow” or the leader of the refugees that have come into the city.

He is a devout man that follows the law perfectly and stands by what he did to the High Septon. She behaves that she totally agrees and has arrested the High Septon and thinks that her and the Sparrows are on the same page. This will be important later.

In the books the High Septon was actually pulled to pieces during the riots and his crown stolen. The church then flounders for a while and shows it’s corruption while trying to find a new High Septon. This leaves it primed for the Sparrows to step in and take control– which they do.

I was shown a theory about the High Sparrow that I had somehow missed and I really really hope that it ends up to be true. I’ll just post it here though and tell me what you think. That would just be amazing.

We also get a glimpse of Qyburn’s project and are given the impression that he’s working on a Frankenstein like monster– which isn’t too far off.

He is special.

Tyrion

He utters his famous last words about how everything will be fine and he’ll blend in. Which of course he doesn’t at all. They take in a speech from the League of Assassins– I mean a Red Priestess and Tyrion of course draws her attention. So they follow that up with a restful evening at a brothel. A brothel that just happens to have Jorah Mormont in it as well. As soon as he can he snags Tyrion and proclaims he’s going to take Tyrion to the Queen. Now some watchlings might hear that and think that Jorah is going to take Tyrion to Cersei so he can reclaim his home and his title. However they’d be hella wrong. That is unless HBO is taking a huge left turn and really changing the story. Jorah is going to try to take Tyrion to Dany and try win her favor back.

As far as what’s happening on the show versus what’s happening in the books they’ve cut out about half a book’s worth of what Tyrion was doing. I’m not really sure why they did that since they are basing these shows on books that are running out of content. You’d think they’d flesh out what material they have instead, but I’m not in charge of this show obviously so I wonder if they are going to bring it around full circle or if this is one of the areas they also make big changes. We’ll see next week!

Cause Jorah just has ball gags laying around. . .for reasons.

Game of Thrones: The House of Black and White. Where have all the strong female characters gone?

Two episodes into season 5 and we get to see a better picture of how they are deviating from the book storylines. However, I was reminded last night about how stupid most of the female characters become. Do we have hope that they will redeem themselves? I’d like to talk about each woman we saw this week, so here it goes:

Arya

No one can say Arya is weak. She’s one of the strongest characters in the whole series and now she’s going to learn how to become No One. Not too put off by her rejection from the House of Black and White she goes to make her own way in Braavos. Yeah she waits around for a bit. . .says a prayer. . . and then makes her way out into Braavos to find her next move.

Arya is super scary in her pigeon killing and fearlessness. The Old Man came and got her before she killed the boys harassing her though and took her back to the House of Black and White– showing himself as Jaqen H’ghar (which had long been speculated by fans but now at least confirmed on the show). She is starting a long and hard journey to become No One and I have a feeling it will be hard to watch. Although after watching all of Daredevil I’m open to blind people doing hardcore stuff.

I bought this robe at Coachella

Brienne 

Brienne and Pod are making their way trough the Wide Wide World and wonder of wonders they run into Sansa and Littlefinger. This is a departure from the books, but I’m interested to see where they are going with this. I’m just glad to not only see scenes with one of the few remaining strong female characters, but we also got to see her be a BMF. She might be a little naive when it comes to how the world works socially, but she totally knows how it works when it comes to killing people. She offers her help to Sansa and Sansa (like the idiot she is) turns down her help citing Brienne’s presence at Joffery’s wedding (umm I’m pretty sure everyone was there). Littlefinger makes a few jabs at Brienne’s motives and comments on her new sword, but she ignores those. She also manages not only to avoid Littlefinger’s attempt at killing her,but kills everyone in the general area while she’s at it.

We see her last following after Littlefinger and Sansa still not giving up on her quest. Although Sansa is less annoying here than in the books I still can’t stand her.

In the books Pod and Brienne are still searching for the Stark girls having found neither of them, but have found someone who was probably once The Hound and then later run into Lady Stoneheart. Sansa is being an idiot in the Eryie still pretending to be Littlefinger’s bastard. So I’m cool with these changes– although I hope they don’t write out Lady Stoneheart.

Seriously how can she resist an oath by the old Gods and the new?

Cersei

First off that is a crazy package to hold a fake snake. Of course they are sending it to a crazy woman. Cersei is super cray cray. She’s breaking under her attempts to control Tommen, Jaime, Highgarden, and it’s driving her crazy that Myrcella is out of her control. Of course her family ordered the murder of the princess of Dorne and that resulted in the rape, murder and then rape again of said princess all while The Mountain had Prince Aegon’s brain matter on his hands. So I could see why she would worry about Princess Myrcella’s safety in Dorne. She sends Jaime away to get Myrcella back which is going to leave her more vulnerable than she realizes.

In the book she’s even crazier, but she thinks she’s in control of everything. Jaime has already left to go squash the Stark rebellion and avoid his sister after what he heard Tyrion say about her. A lot happens to him out on the road during that so I’m wondering if they are going to have all that stuff happen on the way to Dorne. Also in the books they send another member of the Kingsguard to Dorne which is full of tension for other reasons so I wonder how closely they are going to stay with the storyline of what is happening in Dorne right now.

Cersei manages to offend most of the Small Council and shows her inexperience and lack of political savvy by not managing them well. Her uncle whom she tries to push to the side refuses her and leaves. In the books she asks him to be hand, but he only agrees to it if she will go to Casterly Rock and leave Tommen alone so as to not corrupt him like she did with Joffery. She takes that super well and is glad to see him go. She meanwhile continues to dig her own grave.

Lolly’s Stokeworth

Haha she’s totally not a strong female character. Here we see a flighty character that is complaining that her  sister (who is heir) likes to pick on her. Bronn very scarily tells her that her sister will get what is coming to her. In the books Lollys was raped repeatedly by people in Flea Bottom when Joffery was attacked on the way back from see Myrcella off to Dorne. She became pregnant and Bronn agreed to marry her to jump up his status. She is written off as a simple witted person (which could be anything from a serious mental issue to just kind of stupid), but the rape and pregnancy has made her even worse. Later in the books Bronn does kill off everyone so that Lollys inherits, but it looks like that now they might not even get married.

I kinda liked the union– Bronn was 100% a psycho, but still. . .

Sorry for the language, but I’m pretty sure that’s his official title

Myrcella and the Sand Snakes

I know that that’s two very different types, but they are in the same area so that works right?  The Sand Snakes are Oberyn’s bastard daughters who are warrior women and want vengeance for their father’s death. Myrcella is weak as weak can be. She’s a silly girl playing at Princess. It is well noted that she’s a sweet girl in the books which protects her from a lot of the cruelty. A bunch is about to go down in Dorne and I’ll be interested to see if what new characters get introduced into the show.

There is foreshadowing in the books that Myrcella will one day be Queen for a while.

Daenerys

 This is the person that makes me the most upset that she isn’t strong anymore. She’s caught a Son of the Harpy and what she needs to do is feed him to her dragons and instead she holds him prisoner for trial. Welp, that works out as well as you’d expect. He is murdered while in custody and she then chops off the murder’s head in front of all of her supporters.  Who suddenly don’t support her anymore (she’s the only one surprised by this). Let. Your. Dragons. Loose. Burn this city to the ground. Now. Seriously woman.

She does bond with Drogon for a moment which is nice.

I’m pretty sure he’s saying “Why haven’t you figured this out yet?”

Varys

What do you mean he’s not a female? Well he doesn’t have all the requisite man parts so I’ll count it. He once again shows that he knows what’s up as does Tyrion. We finally get to see Tyrion become a little motivated again and Varys is doing a good job encouraging him. I mostly just want to mention that the next time I go on vacation I want to travel in a carriage like that.

Yes, yes she is. Oh and Qyburn is the creepiest creeper ever.

Gilly and Shireen

Gilly is trying to learn to read and is being taught by Stannis’ daughter Shireen who has greyscale. I find it so interesting to hear Gilly talking to her about the disease. In the books the wildlings are openly disgusted by Shireen’s illness and think she should have been put to death years ago. I’ve always wondered if an interaction with White Walkers would change Shireen’s illness for better or for worse. Shireen for someone so put down is actually a lot more independent than you would think. Gilly on the other hand isn’t so much. She does seem to have a bit more character development here though and maybe she will end up better than she does in the books (not that she’s a bad character– just a forgettable one).

Lyanna Mormont

All the Mormont women are strong forceful women and I have to say I love her response to Stannis. That’s what I would like to think I would have said to him. She’s lost her mother and her sisters (they aren’t all confirmed dead, but it doesn’t look great for them) and she still sticks by the Starks. Even though there aren’t really any Starks left either– that she knows of. These are she-bears who ride into war– they won’t be pushed around by any pretender King. And I love her for it.

Bye Felicia.

We also see Stannis offer Jon Snow Winterfell and the title of Lord Stark. This has to be the hardest thing ever to turn down. This is what he would have dreamed of, but in true Jon Snow fashion he sticks by his word and stays with the Watch.

The Frozen/Game of Thrones mashup you always wanted

Sam also manages to get Jon Snow elected as the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. I’m mostly disappointed in how they did this on the show. The book had this election last for days and Sam tricked all the people running into supporting Jon so that he won. Also when he won Lord Mormont’s bird flew out and chose him as well. So much more flair.

So this week we learned that most of the women in Westeros are weak, simple minded, idiots, but when they are strong they are super crazy strong. Thanks GRRM for writing such well rounded characters. . .oh wait.

(I do believe my recent marathon of rereading Brandon Sanderson’s books and seeing real women as leaders I’ve become angry at GRRM for writing such weak women).

There were an amazing lack of boobage this week and I am 100% happy with that. If you’re going to show me weak women at least leave their clothes on them.

Game of Thrones: The Wars to Come. They are deviating from the books?! EVERYONE RIOT!

[S5] After watching the Season 5 premier last night…

So we’ve heard so much about how the books and show are not really going to coincide in the future and people have been upset.  My response? Duh. GRRM is busy looking like a boat captain troll instead of finishing the books. Right now I’m waiting for GRRM to die so Brandon Sanderson can take over the series, finish the rest of the books in about six months and create a better written book then we’ve gotten so far. He did it for Robert Jordan and did a masterful job.

As always though I will hit the highlights of this episode and note any changes/deviations from the book series. Sometimes– like in the case of Sansa– this isn’t the worst thing. BE WARNED!! There are so very many spoilers in this post that if you haven’t read the books or if you haven’t gone down the rabbit hole of the Internet theories you should stop reading this now. I’m going to cover what happened in the show vs what happened in the books and to throw some spoilers on top I’m also going to talk about theories I have.

Maggy the Frog

Maggy is a fortune teller that Cersei and two friends met with in Lannisport. The fortune that Maggy gives Cersei in the show is pretty much what she told her in the books. Of course she thinks that Maggy means that she will marry Rheagar, but obviously that’s not what she meant. She also told Cersei that the “valonqar” would “wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.” Valonqar means little brother in High Valyrian so she of course takes it to mean that Tyrion is going to kill her, but what she’s ignoring is that Jaime is also her little brother. Also Maggy wasn’t super specific about everything so it could just be a younger brother of someone else. However, when it’s all said and done there are so many people that want to kill her it’ll probably be someone we don’t care about that kills her.

The show left out the other friend (who ran away before getting her fortune read anyway) so I would have left her out too, and they left out the friend that was there getting her fortune told. The other girl asked Maggy if she would marry Jaime and Maggy told her she would die that night. It’s implied that Cersei pushed her down a well to die and I feel like she did so because she was interested in Jaime. Cersei wanted to marry Rheagar at this point, but I don’t think she would have ever shared Jaime with anyone.

This fortune telling is very important in the upcoming time period because Cersei becomes obsessed with killing Tyrion because she thinks he will not only kill her, but hurt her remaining children as well.

Tywin’s Funeral

Cersei storms in to see her father and ignores all the people she needs politically. She once again shows that Tyrion is the better Lannister. She lays the blame of Tywin’s death on Jaime’s feet and wants Tyrion’s head to pay for his crimes. She has a big long crazy rant here, but we all knew she was crazy.

The big thing they left out of this part is that he smelled so bad. People were sick during the funeral because he smelled like a sewer. It is possible that Tywin was already poisoned by the Martells and would have died anyway. He also dried out very strangely which made it appear that he was smiling in a crazy manner. Both the smell and the smile hurt the tone of this event and make Cersei even crazier. I do wish they’d left in the smell thing because Cersei showed her craziness even more by blaming the Sisters who prepared the body of trying to harm his reputation.

Tyrion 

OK they take another big departure here, but I think it’s all going to end up in the same place. Last night Tyrion showed up across the narrow sea at an estate with Varys and he’s given the option to stay there and drink himself to death or to go with Varys to Meereen to help restore Dany to her throne. Jokes and quips are made, but he finally agrees to go with Varys.

In the books he ends up at Illyrio Mopatis’ estate and is sent off with people in obvious disguise to meet Dany. Tyrion eventually figures out that one of the people in the crew is an exiled– believed dead Lord and Rheagar’s young son that is also thought to be dead. It is never clear if he’s actually the boy or if he’s a good impostor, but he’s been raised to one day return to King’s Landing to take his throne back. He’s going to Dany though because she has dragons– and a dragon must have three heads after all. Which in my theory world is Dany, Jon and one other person I can’t 100% decide on.

In the books not everything works out as expected (yes– shocking I know), but he still ends up in Meereen. He just isn’t in a position to gain audience with Dany. So sure they’re skipping all that so he can go with Varys and more characters don’t have to be introduced. I get that, but does that mean that Rheagar’s child is an impostor? Or that his storyline isn’t important? Cause if it’s not that is a lot to write about someone that doesn’t matter.

Back with Dany

Dany is destroying the Harpy and is still meeting resistance within this city. This whole story drives me crazy. Dany can’t figure out why she can’t rule. Dany has locked up her dragons. Dany allows the people of the city to push her around and murder her Unsullied. OK here’s the thing. You have dragons– mother of dragons– how about you burn this mother down and then the next city you try to rule will listen to you when you tell them what to do. Quit bowing and scraping and act.

They don’t deviate that much from the books. Dany suddenly becomes weak and uninteresting in those as well. Don’t worry by the end of book 5 she begins to become interesting again.

listdeux was the brains behind this.

listdeux was the brains behind this.

Castle Black

Jon is training young kids and Sam is being mocked. So it’s business as usual. Really what they are doing is setting up what is about to happen with Jon Snow. Some aspects of this story they have sped up and others they’ve slowed down. I’m not really sure why they’ve done this, but I’m not going to spoil too much here. Just Melisandre is a super creeper towards Jon Snow and I don’t understand why her hair looks so dark.

They have Mance Rayder in custody and have told him that he must bend the knee or he will be burned. He chooses the second option and we see him put on a pyre. Jon Snow shoots an arrow into him which interrupts the sacrifice to the Red God and doesn’t please Stannis or any of his crew.

In the books Mance is killed in a similar way, but dies begging for his life and claiming that he wasn’t really Mance. Later Jon Snow finds out that Melisandre has put a spell on Mance and Rattleshirt so they they look like each other and it was really Rattleshirt that was killed. Mance plays a big role later in an attempt to save Arya. So I’m interested if they somehow save this plot line as it was one that made you like Melisandre a little. Right now she’s just a weirdo that likes sex with odd people, gives birth to demon babies and likes fire on an unhealthly level.

Stannis did offer Winterfell to Jon Snow and the hand of the “wildling princess” but Jon turned it down. He wanted Winterfell, but he won’t abandon his vows and he won’t take this thing that should have been Robb’s or Bran’s. Stannis and Melisandre deserve each other.

We’re twinsies!

Sansa and Littlefinger

We see Littlefinger plotting and double speaking about Sansa’s name. I wish that Robin (aka Robert) had been left with someone to be beaten into the ground. It probably would make a man of him. Sadly though in the books Sansa is still playing the part of Littlefinger’s bastard daughter and having to deal with a crying little boy that for some reason is always rubbing on her breasts. I rarely say that I am happy that a show departs from the book, but right now I’m glad I don’t have to see that. I do wish Sansa would grow up though and stop going along with Littlefinger’s plots.

Brienne and Pod

Arya has run off and refused Brienne’s help while Pod is trying to motivate his “knight.” Brienne is kind of a cod to Pod here and all he’s trying to do is help her. This is another departure from the books, but I’m hoping that they will get back to what happens in the books. I won’t say too much about it just in case– but it has to do with zombies, Jaime Lannister and hangings. (Sansa is tantalizingly passing them in a carriage with Littlefinger– I guess to build tension).

Cersei

Cersei is bored at the reception for her father. She’s being forced to listen to everyone talk about how amazing her father was and how no one will ever match his greatness. Instead of taking these at what they are– platitudes– she assumes that they are slights aimed at her. She sees herself as Tywin Lannister the second– only with breasts to better manipulate those around her. Her anger is growing at the arranged marriage that was put in place for Tommen and as her drinking begins to increase so does her quest for absolute power. Now did they say all that in the show? Nope. but that’s what’s happening in the books and that’s what I picked up on through her body language in this episode.

The big thing that happens in this segment is that Lancel (her first cousin whom she had an affair with after Robert’s death– during Jaime’s capture) implies that he might let everyone know about their “unnatural relations” and about how he made sure that Robert was so drunk during his boar hunt that an accident was almost guaranteed. Cersei feigns ignorance, but it’s obvious that this is driving her crazy. It’s yet another area that she doesn’t have absolute control.

This is a understandable departure from the books. In the series he is given the land of Darry and is forced to take a wife. Instead of doing his husbandly duties he chooses to spend all of his time in prayer. Jaime is witness to all of this– and to his wife’s promiscuity during his march to face the Blackfish. Jaime is actually the one who talks to Lancel and hears about the boar hunt and his relationship with Cersei. This just reinforces all the things that Tyrion said to him during his escape. That Cersei was having sex with Lancel, the Kettleblacks and Moon Boy (the last one being a quip, but sticks in his mind). Later– when Cersei requests his return– for reasons– Jamie ignores her because of what she has done. He sees their incestuous relationship as something pure and he’s never desired or taken another woman, but has now found out that Cersei was just using him too for her own gains. This revelation is a big turning point for Jaime’s character and I wonder how they will replace that exchange in the show since Cersei ended up being the one to deal with Lancel.

Creeper of the Year Award

Margaery Tyrell

A couple friends of mine and I watched this as it aired and before the episode started I guessed that we’d see 5 pairs of boobs before the end of the episode, and although we fell short of that I feel like I should be able to add in all the bare butts that we got a view of. This scene opens up on Margaery’s brother Loras and his new lover doing lover-y things and Margaery walks right in and sits on the bed. She claims that she’s hungry and that they are late to see the King, but it’s super awkward. I don’t care that Loras is in there with another man– you don’t walk in on your brother nude with someone else and make yourself a spot on the bed to chat. I get as hangry as the next person, but nope. She seems to be checking out Olyvar just as much as her brother was. They have a brief discussion about Tywin’s death and the impact that that will have on Loras’ engagement to Cersei. Margaery is obviously plotting something. Although a scene not in the books– this is right on target as to what was going on between these two. The only thing I don’t think they have emphasized enough is Margaery’s reputation among court. She’s a woman that was married (to a man that was well known as gay though) and has been wedded to Tommen’s older brother, but as soon as she’s promised to Tommen she adopts a childlike attitude. She’s surrounded by maidens and they occupy themselves with everything that is good and innocent and sweet. That’ll be important later on.

Tyrion and Varys

We see Tyrion in much better shape, but still drinking heavily. They discuss the plan to take Tyrion to Meereen and Varys goal to bring peace to King’s Landing. I’ve talked about this earlier, but any scene with Peter Dinklage should be mentioned again.

Dany in Meereen

She’s still ruling like a queen that has been in power for a long time and not a queen that is struggling for power. Dany is listening to the wrong people and taking the wrong advice. Once again she’s the Mother of Dragons and she has her dragons chained up in the pyramids. She’s so concerned with the dragons killing other people that she’s letting the rebellion kill her people.

My theory is that to control the dragons you have to be able to warg into them a little. Like the Starks control their Direwolves. Dany just hasn’t figured out how to do it on purpose. When she was hurt and alone after their birth she did it by instinct. Now she has lost herself and her power.

Overall I’m not super concerned with their departures from the books because they are going to have to adapt to the fact that they have almost completely caught up with what has been written by GRRM and they need to foreshadow what is coming and we might see things that we don’t understand. I just wish that I could read it before I see it.

Tyrion Lannister: Impin’ ain’t easy

tyrion

Tyrion never had it easy. Tyrion is the third child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister and even if he’d been born “normal” I think he would have still had a hard life. Cersei and Jaime were nine by the time Tyrion came around and has been established that they already had a physical relationship by this point. I feel that any new sibling no matter how perfect would have been seen as an interloper.  Cersei and Jaime always were their own thing. Cersei sees Jaime as her’s and no one else can have him. A bratty younger brother definitely wouldn’t have been welcome, but a deformed “monster” that killed their mother in childbirth? Yeah, he was screwed from the get go.

Tyrion was constantly belittled and berated by his father and openly mocked and hated by his sister. The only love he found was from his brother Jaime and the only respect was from people that were paid to do his bidding. This loneliness shapes who he will become.  He sympathizes with others that have similarly been treated unfairly or are being used because of their weaknesses (Jon Snow, the Night’s Watch, various whores, Tommen, Sansa Stark, etc.).

There are a few events that I feel really shaped Tyrion’s life and the biggest one of those being his very short marriage at the age of 13.  He and Jaime saved a girl named Tysha from men out on the open road and that began a relationship between that two that culminated in a secret marriage.  Once Tywin found out about the marriage he exposed the girl as a whore that had been hired by Jaime and then proceeded to have her passed around by his guards paying her a silver coin for each and then having Tyrion do the same, but pay her in a gold coin since he was a Lannister.

I think this episode in his life showed him that happiness isn’t real and that he could never trust anyone, but Jaime when it came to love and loyalty.  It also showed him, once again, that his father harbored no love for him.

He sees Jaime as his only true friend and protector (from the few back-stories they tell about Tyrion as a child Jaime repeatedly stood up for him against his sister) and I think that that made Jaime’s lack of support during his trial that much harder to process for Tyrion.  Jaime had never been pushed so hard to choose between Cersei and Tyrion, much less Cersei and Tywin vs Tyrion and Tyrion sees Jaime’s actions as choosing Tywin and Cersei over him.

Before Tyrion’s scheduled execution Jaime forces Varys to assist in freeing him.  During his escape Jaime admits to Tyrion that the woman he met at 13 and that he married wasn’t really a whore, but may have possibly really loved him. This revelation shakes him to the core and I feel that it pushed him over the edge where his father was concerned. Now here we begin to step into theory land.  There is a line of thought that Oberyn Martell poisoned Tywin Lannister before his death and that was the reason that he was on the toilet when Tyrion went to kill him. The poison that it is thought he used was one that traps all toxins in the body until the person dies.  There is also a theory that Tyrion had guessed The Viper’s actions and that’s why he wasn’t surprised that Tywin was in the privy. OK to continue. . .

Tyrion then goes and finds his father’s chambers only to find Shea naked in Tywin’s bed– yet another betrayal by someone he thought loved him.  He quickly strangles her and then goes to find his father.  After asking his father about where his first wife went after Tywin threw her away Tywin replied with, “Wherever whores go.” This phrase continues to haunt Tyrion during his exile.

Catch phrase: Wherever whores go.

Theories

There are quite a few theories about Tyrion and I can’t say that I’ve decided whether I buy them or not. I’ll cover the one that I buy somewhat and you’re more than welcome of fall down the rabbit hole that is the Internet if you want to see some of the others.

Tyrion is a secret Targaryen. So the theory is that Aerys attacked/seduced Joanna Lannister and got her pregnant with Tyrion. The groundwork for this is that Semly told Daenerys that Aerys offended Tywin during the bedding portion of the reception by taking certain liberties while disrobing Joanna.  Semly also stated that he didn’t necessarily love Joanna Lannister more than he loved his wife, but wanted her. We then know that there was a desire for her, we know that he was crazy, and we know that he felt entitled to what he wanted.

Issues

Why would Tywin have continued as Aerys’ Hand? Why would Tywin not have acknowledged Tyrion as a bastard especially                 since he was a source of embarrassment? If Joanna was attacked why didn’t she go immediately to Tywin for protection?                       Why wouldn’t Tywin have used Tyrion for his own gains if he truly is have Targaryen?

OK so my thought is that Tywin is not afraid of playing the long game.  So maybe he didn’t know for sure, but only suspected that Tyrion wasn’t his. Or perhaps he knew if he left the service of the king he would never be able to exact revenge (NOTE: he did leave Aerys after Jaime was chosen to be a member of the Kingsguard, but maybe he thought that he would lose all if he remained with Aerys). — I don’t like any of this much at all.

Perhaps instead this scenario:

Aerys attacked/seduced/demanded sex from Joanna once or numerous times.  She was afraid to ask for help from Tywin because she knew what his reaction would be and she knew that Aerys wouldn’t hesitate to kill Tywin. I can think of all kinds of things that could have been held over her, threats against her twins, threats against Tywin, knowledge that if Tywin was killed that Aerys would have had even more control over her. Once she was finally able to get away and back to Casterly Rock she discovered that she was pregnant.  Perhaps a failed abortion attempt resulted in Tyrion’s deformity? We do not know where Joanna was during conception, but we do know that she was at Casterly Rock with the twins while pregnant. After abortion didn’t work the knowledge of the true father was kept a secret to protect her husband and her children.

The most interesting part of this theory to me is the fact that Joanna died after childbirth. This is similar to Lyanna (if you buy the R+L=J theory which is widely accepted) as well and Rhella (Daenerys’ mother).  It is known that a dragon must be made with a death (it is known) so if Tyrion, Daenerys, and Jon are the three heads of the dragon, their lives were bought with their mother’s deaths.

There are other small things thrown it, he dreamed of dragons, always wanted a dragon, learned as much as he could about dragons, from what we’ve learned about Rhaegar I feel like they have similar core values, and he has mismatched eyes.  There are other Targaryen bastards that had this trait so possibly it is just a trait of his dwarfism, but also maybe it’s a trait of his heritage. Tywin also repeatedly says that Tyrion is not his son and when Tyrion asked for Casterly Rock he states that he can’t prove that Tyrion isn’t his and that’s why he is allowed to wear his colors, but he will never have the Rock.

Part of me wishes this theory is true– I’d love to see Tyrion become a head of the dragon and be appreciated by more that just the readers.  I also feel like all this might be a red herring thrown out by GRRM.

What are your thoughts? Do you think this theory is a bunch of crap or do you buy it?

I believe we can all agree that Tyrion has had a rough life and it appears that it’s just going to get rougher.

Game of Thrones: Mockingbird. You are the Wind Beneath My Wings.

This episode contained a ton of set up.  This is one of those episodes that I have trouble judging how Watchlings would receive it.  As I am watching I’m getting super excited about all that is about to happen which makes me wonder if all the Watchlings out there are bored or confused.

Jamie and Tyrion

We start out with Jamie and Tyrion arguing about Tyrion’s speech at the end of his trial.  Jamie sees it as idiotic and Tyrion sees it as his only option to fight back.  For all Jamie’s desire to have Tyrion shipped off to the Night’s Watch I wonder what his actions would have been in a similar situation.  Tyrion makes very valid points to Jamie.  Jamie was playing right into Tywin’s hands.  He would have gotten rid of his embarrassment of son and gained his heir back to the place he wanted.

Tyrion’s pleas to get Jamie to fight for him are heartbreaking.  Tyrion loves his brother and I do believe Jamie loves Tyrion, but Jamie also knows that he can’t beat the Mountain and I think Jamie feels powerless against his father and sister.

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Jamie knows all to well about Tyrion falling in love with a whore. Tyrion married a girl when he was very young that he loved very much and said that she loved him.  They lived together for a time and then Tywin told Tyrion that Jamie had hired the girl to have sex with Tyrion and then it had gotten out of control. Tywin took the girl and gave her to all his soldiers and then had Tyrion “service” her in front of everyone else.  This has haunted Tyrion since that time and if the show follows the books Jamie is about to drop a revelation about this young girl very soon.

Cersei and The Mountain:

Cut to a huge guy disemboweling some people evidently for fun and Cersei watching.  I’m not real sure where these people have come from.  Do they keep people around just for him to slice up?  That seems like a healthy past time.  This scene mostly is just to set up that The Mountain is The Wu Tang Clan, Dr. Dre and Tupac all rolled into one huge scary person.

Image

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Are you aware that Cersei is a heartless conniving bitch? OK good.  How about that The Mountain is a psychopath and has killed more people than I can count?  OK good.  So you got this.

The Hound and Arya:

Ahhh, my favorite homicidal travelers.  Arya and The Hound have left quite a bit of death and destruction in their wake and it doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. The scene opens up with them riding up to a scene of mayhem and death.  There is one person left, slowly dying from a wound to the stomach.  The three of them talk about life, death and the everafter for a while. Then the conversation comes to an abrupt end when The Hound shoves a knife under the mans ribs into his heart.  This was a mercy kill so the man didn’t have to slowly die a painful death there on the road.  The Hound looks meaningfully at Arya and says “That’s where the heart is. That’s how you kill a man.” Then suddenly there is someone biting into The Hound’s neck and trying to kill him to which the Hound responds by quickly snapping the neck of his attacker. I would like to say that is also how you kill a man.

Since the one dude bit a chunk out of The Hound’s neck I’m assuming he’s Rorge’s counterpart Biter.  Biter was supposed to be killed by Gendry, but I’ll take the change.  It’s an acceptable alteration.  Rorge likewise was killed in a different manner (Brienne killed him), but this was an awesome scene with Arya and stayed true to character.  It does ask the question though, that if they are already dead now, will Brienne and Pod run into any action on the Kingsroad now?

Just like my first date. Ahhh the memories

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Arya did know who Rorge and Biter were.  They joined the Bloody Mummers aka The Brave Companions with Jaqen H’ghar and helped Arya free the Northman that were captured at Harrenhall.  Also they were scarier in the book then they are in the show.  Also The Hound should have already been seriously injured so I’m wondering if this bite will turn into something serious since he wouldn’t let Arya cleanse it with fire.  Oh we haven’t gotten to that part yet? OK sorry, continue.

Meanwhile on the Wall:

We see Janos Slynt singling out Jon Snow and trying to make him look like a coward, an idiot and a traitor.  This break it mostly just to remind you that there is stuff going on at the Wall that will be important later.  So yeah.  Janos is a douche. Jon knows what he’s talking about. Let’s continue.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Winter is coming. Oh yeah, I think you’ve picked up on that.

Bronn and Tyrion:

Bronn very succinctly explains why he won’t be Tyrion’s champion.  I think that this rejection hurts a lot worse then Jamie’s. It’s logical. Bronn was always for Bronn (the dwarves are for the dwarves!) and it wouldn’t fit if he suddenly changed.  However, I do think that Bronn wished that he was a better man.  A more loyal man. But at the end of the day he is just Bronn: The Sell Sword.

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Nope.  This was pretty much word for word from the books.  And done amazingly well. Look that that last touch that Bronn throws in though.  Yep, he really does care about Tyrion. The only other thing I’d add is that you may have forgotten that Lollys is knocked up with a baby from her gang rape that occurred when they sent Marcella off to Dorne. Bronn later names that baby Tyrion and I think he does that just to let Cersei know that she may have bought his cooperation, but not his loyalty (if he actually had much left).

Dany and Daario Naharis:

So Dany sends Daario to kill the Masters, but not before she exercised her right of first night with Daario. Hmmm or maybe she’s just been alone with guys for a really long time and liked the way Daario massages. . .his knives.  Anyway, insert sex scene– wait scratch that– insert sex scene that isn’t shown.

Random acts.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

Dany has been fantasizing about this for a while so she’s mostly just doing this for herself.  It leads to some sticky situations later, but really as I’ve stated before Dany is just boring right now.  Of course putting her in that dress makes her more interesting.

Melisandre and Selyse:

As if to make up for not showing the sex scene between Daario and Dany we see the Red Woman naked for an uncomfortably long time. Blah, blah, blah, they are both crazy and creepy.  Oh and evidently the Red Woman wants Seylse’s daughter along just in case they need to sacrifice her to the Red God. Totally normal.

goddamn carice van houten is probably the most beautiful human ever

What the Watchlings don’t know:

You’ve probably gotten everything you need out of this.  They are both really weird and really creepy.  The Red Woman will become more and more important as time goes on.

Dany and Jorah:

Yeah I’m not even going to address this.  We are reminded once again Dany is a strong female character. We got it.

The Hound and Arya

I mentioned before the whole fire/infection issue.  I am curious as to where this is going to take us.  I doubt that the sketchy water Arya washed it out with is going to fix it.  The Hound is one of those characters (like Jamie Lannister) that I truly hated for so long, but then once I got to see his character develop I love him. I want to hug and protect him as no one ever did for him.  Imagine having to live with someone that you were always afraid they might kill you for the fun of it. Yeah, just not cool.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

The Mountain is the head of the house because his father died under suspicious circumstances as did his sister and his two wives.  The Mountain is also known for killing people on a whim. So yeah his baby brother might have a few issues he needs to work through.  Evidently the Stark girls bring out all the good in him.

Brienne and Pod:

The adventure continues with our daring duo.  Hot Pie offers some comedy relief and Brienne’s expressions are priceless. However Hot Pie does come through in the end and spills the beans on Arya.  Good thing Brienne isn’t one of the bad guys.

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books something big is about to go down with these two.  We’ll see if it happens in the show.  My only spoiler/theory/thought that I’d like to add is to the readers out there.  What if the one word Brienne says at a critical moment is Arya? We’ll see.  (EDIT: My brother pointed out to me that GRRM has confirmed that they word she said was sword– so I was wrong). They are now on their way to the Erie which in and of itself is a bit different than the books so maybe we’ll all be surprised.

The Red Viper and Tyrion:

Out of all the people Tyrion didn’t expect to visit him Prince Oberyn was probably very high on that list. This whole conversation is mostly word for word out of the books.  It was more heartbreaking to watch than to read. Cersei has hated Tyrion for so long. Because of his deformity, or the fact that their mother died during childbirth, or because he interrupted what she had with Jamie.  Who knows? All I know is that it was painful to watch Oberyn tell Tyrion about his visit all those years ago.

And the emotion that Tyrion showed when Oberyn made his announcement was perfect.  I know Tywin wasn’t expecting that in response. After all why would Oberyn help a Lannister?

Sansa and Littlefinger:

Back to the Erie and some creepiness. Sansa builds a snow Winterfell and Robyn (aka Robert) acts like a little sh#t and gets slapped for it.  Fearing repercussions Sansa kinda panics to Littlefinger who gives her some speech about how he thinks of her like his daughter and then grabs her and kisses her.  Yeah not weird at all. Lysa sees it all and of course that bodes well for Sansa right? Or maybe not. Lysa freaks out and threatens Sansa by pushing her towards the Moon Door. Littlefinger responded this way:

 

What the Watchlings don’t know:

In the books there was a musician hanging around that this murder was pinned on.  I’m not sure how they are going to play this here. Needless to say Sansa has learned a lot about the kind of person Littlefinger is and I don’t think she’ll make the same mistakes Lysa or Catelyn made. Littlefinger becomes more creepy as does Robert Robyn.

Major Character Deaths: One

Boob Count: Just one pair

See you in two weeks!